[crazygirl1]

I have had many, many struggles in life and it has taken its toll on me. I don't wanna hear any stupid quotes like "God doesn't give us more what we can handle" .

Other not so healthy choices I'm addicted to are beer and cigarettes. Its my way of escaping the pains of reality. All the meds, counseling, and therapy in the world isn't going cure my feelings of loneliness, social rejection, and extreme shyness.

I usually drink 4 6hr. energy shots mixed with juice within an hour. Usually several times a week, I drink the mixture. Just curious what the long-term effects are on the body? I like the way it speeds up my heart making me feel more alive and having more energy.

I have only met 1 guy that's ever taken a strong interest in my life since I was in grade school. We have had our ups and downs. He's a functional heroin user (has a job and lives on his own) and yes, I've been around it and have no interest in trying it. Last month, I ignored his calls for 10 days until I ran into him unexpectedly which made everything awkward. Since then he has contacted me first maybe 2-3x. I ignored him because I want to imagine what life would be without him. While he is a friend, things do change within time.

To make matters worse, one of his female friends joked around with me about how much I liked him and that he's my boo. I haven't heard from in 6 days. I feel like an ***hole for ignoring him and don't how to make it up to him.

Because of my deafness and hearing difficulty, it makes it extremely difficult to go out and meet people. I've tried meeting other guys and none of them has taken an interest in me like he has.

[jns]

How do you want to make your life better or what in life do you want to be better? Generally in life, you cannot change others, only yourself.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You say "obsticles" do you realise that you are putting them in-front of you?

What ever it is that you don't like about yourself, you can change.

The key is to do it (1) at a time, what is the one thing you really despise the most that you are doing?

I usually drink 4 6hr. energy shots mixed with juice within an hour. Usually several times a week,

Can you elaborate on that? I am sure if you read the back of the packet/can it will tell you the dangers of excessive drinking of this stuff. I would definately cut that out as my 1 priority.

[Ashlee T.]

I don't wanna hear any stupid quotes like "God doesn't give us more what we can handle" .

All the meds, counseling, and therapy in the world isn't going cure my feelings of loneliness, social rejection, and extreme shyness.

Do you realize that you've come here seeking advice, while at the same time telling us what advice to give and not to give you? Keep in mind that if you had it all figured out, you wouldn't be here seeking advice on how to make things in your life better. You don't want people to say inspirational things to you. Not because they won't help, but because you've decided you don't want them. You don't want counseling and therapy. Not because they won't help, but because you've decided you don't want them. It seems that there is a part of you that wants us all to tell you you're a miserable hopeless case so you're trying to block out any other advice.

Obviously, you're aware the extent of your energy drink consumption is cause for concern. As well as your cigarette and beer consumption. You brought them up...this tells me you already know the answer. But just to reinforce it, yes...you would be in much better health both physically AND mentally if you'd rid these things from your life. Addiction and long term dependency are high risk for any of the three of these things. I'm a believer in moderation when it comes to things like alcohol. A beer or two now and then isn't likely to hurt you. The cigarettes are restricting the blood flow you need to your organs, to your arms, hands, feet, etc. They are exponentially increasing your chances of developing heart disease and cancer. They are putting you at risk for high blood pressure, stroke, and heart attacks. The energy drinks at the level you are drinking them, are causing your heart to overwork, putting you at increased risk for high blood pressure, rapid heartbeat with possible short AND long term side effects of : sleeplessness, sore and/or shrunken breasts, fatigue, nausea, diarrhea, dependency, etc etc. So you can say you don't want "meds", but you are already taking them. Except you are taking things that are extremely unhealthy for you, in order to treat whatever symptoms you have.

Your guy is a drug addict. Calling him a "functioning addict" is a pretty way of saying it. Yes, he's functioning BECAUSE he has his drug. Let him run out and see how well he functions. Heroin is not one of those "ya, I just shoot up every now and then" kind of drugs. Do a google search of pics of long term heroin users. Your friend is no exception. Functioning or not, his life is headed down a crash course of destruction. Care about him as you may, but don't allow yourself to go down with him.

Because of my deafness and hearing difficulty, it makes it extremely difficult to go out and meet people.

What is the extent of this difficulty? I can imagine it does make socialization more challenging. But definitely not impossible. I have a friend who is totally blind and has more of a social life than I do. And I see numerous people at the University in which I work who are legally deaf but still manage to be an active part of the college experience. Are the challenges greater? Yes. But don't let yourself use your challenges as an excuse to be antisocial.

It seems to me your potential is great and that you have the desire to do more with your life than what you're currently doing. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. As JNS says, change only comes from within. We can all tell you what you're doing wrong, but it is only you that can change it. YOU choose your path in life, despite challenges and circumstances. It is all, 100% totally your choice. All we can do is tell you is that right now, you're not making smart choices for yourself.

[kygirl]

Have you looked for a support group of some type? You said that ". All the meds, counseling, and therapy in the world isn't going cure my feelings of loneliness, social rejection, and extreme shyness." but that's not true. You are , in your own way, self-medicating, so what harm would it do to seek real treatment under the care of someone who could monitor what you are taking? You obviously are looking for someone who will listen to you and that is exactly what therapy is for. I was very skeptical until I tried it, but I found it to be a great starting place in dealing with some very deep issues that I didn't want to deal with.

I won't tell you that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I will tell you that you are the only one who can change your life. You have to have a desire to do something to different. You have to decide that today is going to be different. You're not improving your life by harming yourself further, you are just creating a deeper hole to hide in. Taking the first steps to changing things are not easy and I will not act like they are, but you have to find that strength within yourself.

Just remember that just because someone takes an interest in you, that does mean it's a healthy relationship. You don't state how old you are, but I can promise you that if you tell yourself that no one is interested and give up, then that will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even if you don't believe it now, you deserve more. You deserve to succeed. You deserve to have a healthy relationship and you deserve to take care of yourself. I think that when you start doing what you need to do for you and opening yourself up, even if it takes time, positive things will come your way. You just have to let go of the things that are trapping you. Good luck!!

[KMonte85]

All the meds, counseling, and therapy in the world isn't going cure my feelings of loneliness, social rejection, and extreme shyness.

It is interesting to me that you feel this way, yet you self-medicate every day with beer, cigs, and a obscene amount of energy shots.

The question is are you willing to give up these vices, crutches really... and starting being an active participant in your own life? From your post, it seems you are, but the only person in the world who can make anything in your life change for the better - is you.