[JR1]

I broke up with my boyfriend, my first serious relationship, two weeks ago. We dated for about 6 months. I'm going to university in the fall, and will be gone for two years, about two hours away. I need to be diving into a social life on campus, and not drawn to be back where he is. I first felt very relieved about the breakup, like it was the right thing for us. The past few days, however, I've really missed him a lot... think about him a lot. I finally contacted him and asked him how he felt about starting up again as friends, strictly friends. He told me he was okay with this... and would give it a shot. A few days went by before we spoke again.

We ended up going out last night with a group of friends; we met at the pub, took separate cars. At first he was pretty cold to me, but didn't hold onto that for long at all. We ended up drinking and dancing together, but nothing more than that. I told him I missed him but stick to how I feel. I'd rather be heartbroken now than when I'm in a new place at university, when I need to be focusing on my courses. We hugged and left. But now he is texting me like he used to, saying he wants to talk.

I don't want to hurt him. I want his friendship, but I don't want to be in a relationship with him. I want to stay in contact. I want to be able to go out and have fun, without the heartbreak of what will inevitably come later. (I refuse long distance.)

Am I leading him on? Would it be better to cut ties all together? I care about him a lot, but need friendship with boundaries.

[Little]

You were perfectly clear that you want to stay broken up, and why. However, he might not be able to help feeling hope that you will change your mind.
It will probably be hurtful enough for him when you are hours away, enjoying yourself, too busy to text back. I think spending limited time with him between now and then might help soften the blow.

[jns]

Its probably better to break clean and not go back with him instead of going back for a limited time and for limited amounts. He will probably misunderstand your actions if you do that.

[Quest]

Seems like you want to have your cake and eat it too.

You want his emotional support but while moveing on with your life and getting another boyfriend in the future, etc.

This whole "lets just been friends" stance has always perturbed me when ever I have read or heard about someone saying it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I like all the answers but you have answered yourself hun.

He is "trying to accept" that it's over due to your future career which means possibly to him, why did you start a relationship if you wanted that? 6 months is enough to gain alot of feelings.

You are kind of playing games with his feelings. You drank, danced, obviously had a good time, then told him coldly that you only want a friendship... Sure you can dance with friends but when they become friends not when you have just broken up and then to tell him you miss him.

Yes, in my opinion you are looking out for you and not considering him. Sorry but you need to work through this. For you and for him.

Is he worth working things through and still having your study and career? Have you thought about that? He was prepared to I think.

I think you haven't thought this all through properly.

Yes you were clear but as soon as you danced with him and told him you missed him you gave him mixed messages.