[Aisha]

M married dince 7 years..i had a brain surgery in my first year of marrige..my husband has real bad anger..hes very nice bt when any argument develops he looses his temper..he had evn hit me in my head knowing that i had been operated..but i just didnt share bed with him for a week n then got normal..my family respects him like anything bcuz they think he loves me too mch..i havnt told neone yet..i hv two kids..a boy whoz 6 n my girl just turned one..he abuses me ,cals me **** n ***** infront of my boy..n now on new year eve on some argument he punched me whike driving n my arm is badly bruised..in front of my son..i hv not still left him...he said sorri n i woudnt get normal n now hes behavin so normal..m not sleepin in same bed wd him rest m in his house..bt i tink this time i wud collapse...m doin dis fr my kids...bt m reali hurt ..tell me wat to do???

[jns]

You need to leave him and go to a shelter if you can. What country are you in? The abuse is harming you, but your children are also learning from this violence.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Aisha,

I agree with JNS.

But, I want you to know something else.

my family respects him like anything bcuz they think he loves me too mch..i havnt told neone yet.

Your family is blood, they would never turn their back on you. They believe what they believe because you live in silence.

It is time to speak..

[Ashlee T.]

Please listen to the advice you've been given here so far. Getting out is hard...but you have to do it. The MOST important things in your life right now and for the rest of your life are those kids. What would happen to them if you were killed? If he beat you and caused coma or severe brain damage? Would would happen to them???? Do not think for a second that it "won't happen to you". Right now you're walking on the ledge of a 100 story building in the rain..... the question is not whether you will fall, it is WHEN.

You need to come clean to your family and plan to get out immediately. If they don't support you and blame you for his behavior, take the children and get to a domestic violence shelter so you can figure out your next steps.

Be strong... and get out.

[Harmony]

What to fo when my husbands hits me?

Leave this 'man' (and I use the word man in the loosest sense of the word)
Call the police and try and get a restraining order.
Tell both of your families what he's done. Start taking pictures of the bruises next to the newspaper preferably by a trustworthy friend who can double as a witness.
Don't ever go back, not ever.
Try and keep the children away from him.

[bubbles32]

Hardest thing to do is leave. Dont worry about little bits right now, first thing is to protect your babies and your self because they need you. Get out! Dont think just do it. Ive been there and you have to find the courage from somewere. Find a shelter near you first and dont leave when hes there, do it when hes at work or out for a number of hours so you can pack and gather belongings. You need to contact the police and get a restraining order or a pritective order. This is a big decision to make so be strong. Please note that in some cases and some states you cnt stop him from seeing the kids because the law says its a domestic issue not to with the kids. some men use this to find out where the women are but dont worry they can do it through a contacr center.
Ive suffered through it but believe me you will come out the other end ok. Best of luck xx

[Lorelai]

Call the police, once they get there pack your bags and leave with them.

[ItalianSweetie]

You have to leave this man ASAP. He sounds very dangerous, and you have to think about your little ones. They need their mom. Please take my advice and leave him. Call the cops, once they get their they will protect you while you get your things together, and leave. Get a restraining order immediately against this man, and if I were you, I'd make sure to keep him away from your kids. Please get out now before things get worse. Good luck, sweetie. You and your kids deserve to me treated with love and respect.

[azalea]

I'm very sorry that these things have happened to you... but everyone here is right. You have to leave him. I know it's hard when you have young children. Many parents stay together for the sake of their children, even if their relationship is going sour, because they think it's best for the children... but it isn't. It's very hard for children to see their parents hurting each other. They'll grow up to be violent and angry themselves. They'll never trust other people. It's MUCH better for them to grow up in a one-parent household than it is for them to grow up among yelling, screaming, hitting and crying. It will be a hard change to make at first, but it will be rewarding in the long run.

He will probably be angry when you tell him you are leaving. He'll feel like he's lost control and he'll try to make it sound like it's all your fault, but please don't let him make you feel that way. Be strong, and if he ever hurts you, call the police right away. He can't get away with this anymore.

If you stay with him, he'll hit you again. Then he's say he's sorry, and he'll make you feel like everything is okay. So you stay. He'll hit you again, and it'll keep happening. Even if he seems like he's acting "normal" or "better", you can't forget that he WILL try to hurt you again. He will not get better.

Please take care of yourself. Be strong.