[Leotardo]

Hi, I know this site is technically for women, but I've read great advice on here, and was hoping for some help.

My (now "ex")girlfriend and I had a wonderful, loving relationship for just under a year. However, about 2 months ago, she plunged into a deep depression, and pushed me away, saying she couldn't handle a relationship and that even thinking about me made her feel guilty and anxious for not being able to be happy around me. This happened right after a vaginal infection (gardnerella) returned after about 4 or 5 months. She's a big hypochondriac, and VERY child-oriented. The first time she got the infection, she was a mental mess, but refused to visit a doctor because she was afraid they would tell her she was infertile.

Eventually, after a lot of tears and a lot of stress, she visited a clinic, received antibiotics, and about a month later the infection went away, along with the pain. However, in January she started to feel the pain again, and this terrified her. She even told me, "I'll kill myself if I can't have kids." We went back to the clinic, and they gave her more antibiotics, but she was very upset that they didn't examine her. About a week after this, she started to push me away strongly. 2-3 weeks later, we broke up, because I couldn't handle the fact that she didn't want to see or talk to me. I was devastated.

A week or so later, she told me she was "hurting" again, and that she was afraid she had P.I.D. and was infertile. I managed to calm her down, and she thanked me repeatedly. In the midst of this, she even asked "do you still love me for real?" Since then, however, she's been cold toward me.

She's finally seeing an OBGYN in about 2 weeks. I've offered to go with her (today, by text) but she hasn't replied. Since we broke up, she picked up a 2nd job, and has seemingly used that to avoid thinking about her depression. I've been heartbroken and worried to death about her...

I guess what I'm asking is, do you think this fear of infertility, along with the infection, is what caused her to be so depressed and angry? And, if so, do you think seeing the Dr. will help her calm down and start to feel like herself again? Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm worry sick about this girl, and I love her more than anything.

Thank you.

[kittehs]

It sounds like she is really paranoid about becoming infertile and the frequent vag infections are fueling her anxiety. It's very frustrating to deal with vaginal infections as doctors are quick to prescribe antibiotics without taking the time to find out what is really going on...and then the issues quickly return. Maybe this is what's happening to your gf and the hypochondriac in her is telling her something is horribly wrong, when in reality it's (hopefully) just a troublesome bacterial infection. It could be what's causing her depression or at least a part of it. Maybe she's worried you aren't attracted to her while she's dealing with these infections...generally women worry about what their bf/hubby will think if there's odor or discharge going on "down there." She may be pushing you away out of embarrassments/stress/insecurity.

[DreamP346]

Its doesn't sound like depression, more like obsessive compulsive disorder or something else. I'm not a psychiatrist. She really should go see a therapist to work through that, otherwise she will constantly be sabotaging everything she does in life.