[secret0524]

There is this friend whom I met online and have been talking to for three years. He's 2 years older and has a lot of friends in common with me. I finally got to meet him after all this time because he came back to town from being in Korean base for the US military. However, the 20 minutes I have met with him went awry.

The day before we were supposed to actually meet, he happened to be nearby my place so he called me up and see if I could come out. But I was really really tired after spending all day with my dad who visited us from a different state so I said no. Then he said he only wanted to meet up for 5 minutes. So I reluctantly agreed.

When we met we were joking with each other and how we have been doing and stuff... Then he asked me to walk with him to a mutual friend's house so I was like okay since I thought I can walk back home afterwards. On the way, he asked me to eat with him, which he would be paying, but I refused because I really wanted to go home and we were supposed to go tomorrow anyways. Then he started to push on the pressure points on my back (a military submission technique he learned in the army) until I agreed then I was like Ill see just so he'll stop and he did.... Then he pointed out we weren't walking in his friend's house direction and said he was only walking that way because I was (I didn't know where the friend lived so I wasn't sure why he did this). Then he asked the same question and I said no again then he started twisting my arm to the point it would really really hurt for even a very flexible person until he got the answer he wanted. I got really really mad and yelled at him to stay away from me or I will call the cops and left off. Today and yesterday he kept msging me like "Im really sorry you got mad I must have been awful, I have been through a lot this week so I must have been out of my mind. I had family (he's been raised weirdly in the family I heard) and friends issues since I came back." I told him I need some time to reconsider and I do not feel totally comfortable meeting up with him again if he doesn't bring a friend. From what I have seen, seemed like he wasn't planning to bring a friend since the other friend we were supposed to hang out with cannot due to family situations.


Was I overexaggerating in this case? and should I give him another chance to meet up?

[rcoreyus]

STAY AWAY!. He is dangerous and a bully and an abuser. You should probably should report him do the police. If he thinks its OK to physically force women to do what he wants, what do you think happens to someone who is alone with him in an isolate location. If he really was in the army, he is a disgrace to the uniform. Lots of people have "been though a lot" but they do not abuse women.

BTW - it is typical for abusers to do something terrible, then apologize, then act hurt or distraught, until you forgive them. Then do it again.

FYI: I'm a guy, and no man should ever behave like that. Most children learn not to hurt people by the time they are 12.

[Pollon]

I agree. Given this was the first time you've met in person he should have been very cautious about touching you at all. That he actually used pain to coerce you is assault. Cut him off now and end the relationship completely.

And don't let his begging or excuses change your mind. There is no excuse for this and if he thought he could do it when he first met you, he will definitely do it again if he believes there is a relationship.