[Mariana199]

Ok so on Sunday morning me and my boyfriend had a lil argument and we said things to each other that we shouldn't say but when we argue it only last a day but this time it's worse we didn't even break up he just changed his number how I found out(I called to apologize and it was changed)and now he won't talk to me I'm so hurt cause we been together for 2 years and I gave him my all he said he loved me but why would he just leave me like that? I been crying all day yesterday and today I can't stop thinking about him and its driving me crazy to the point last night I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I been writhing him on Facebook over and over he gets on but doesn't write back he hasn't changed his status to single yet but deep inside I think he just forgot to change it. He's in the army and we were planing on seeing eachother next month I bought my plane ticket and everything now what do I do? I just really need some advice please help I haven't slept or ate anything I just feel so alone right now.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think you have to sit back and ponder of those arguments, establish why they occur and why things are said that "can't be taken back" that hurt.

When you get into that cycle, relationships do eventually end, because that is not what a relationship is about and no one wants to go through arguments and painful words more than once if even once..

Arguments are normal, here and there. But, to the point where words are spoken that hurt?

Once you work that out, PM him via Facebook. An apology is empty words but knowing why is trying to work with it to change.

ie) Perhaps you feel in-secure because he is away so much and lash out.

Perhaps he is in-secure and accuses you of things that are not happening.

CW

[Little]

It sounds like it's over. It's pretty infantile of him to not make it verbally clear, but you can't force him to give you closure. It hurts - I've been there.

The best thing you can do is to treat it like any breakup. What have you done that made you feel better in previous breakups? Spend time with friends? Eat ice cream? Watch sappy movies? Do it. Pamper yourself.

Whatever you do, continue going through the motions of everyday life. Go to work. Do your housework. Pay the bills. Look at funny pictures of cats online. Eventually, life without him will become more normal.

I think the messages you've sent him are enough that he will respond when he is good and ready, and it won't be in your time, it will be in his. Sending more won't help. Block him on facebook if it helps temptation - he's got your number if he needs to contact you.

And when you're ready (but sooner rather than later!) see what you can do with that plane ticket. Maybe you can get it refunded, or exchange it for a more appropriate destination. Do something nice for yourself; don't hold out that he'll come back and you'll get to use it in time.

[JadedQueen]

As hard as it may be for you to do... the very first thing you NEED to do is STOP trying to contact him. Let him have some cooling off time and time to reflect on things. It sounds like you have flooded him with messages on FB and since you said he has been on and no response... that's a very good indication that he is either not wanting or willing to speak to you right now and continuing to send him messages is more than likely making matters worse and making you appear desperate which is not attractive at all. I don't know to what extent "things were said that shouldn't have been said".... I can tell you this... sometimes the things that can't be un-said/un-heard it may very well be the "last straw" for him... if that is the case, you have no choice but to accept that and work towards getting over him.

Personally... I would give him space and cut ALL communication with him (because obviously he doesn't want to speak to you) if you don't then your desperate pleas will not work in your favor. You said that you have a plane ticket to go and see him.... well, stop communicating with him until about a week prior to the planned trip and then get a message to him regarding your planned trip and if he doesn't respond then you know without a doubt that you need to move on.

[jns]

Losing communication in a long distance relationship is one of the worst things. Its not like you can have it out face to face. I would not cut any of the remaining lines of communication yet. That could make a bad situation worse. He could become fearful that your relationship is truly over and because of it start moving on. Instead, wait for him to restart communications. What may help would be an actual written letter apologizing and telling how you'll do your best not to argue again over what you are apologizing about. Do not whine or plead excessively or obsessively.