[Trixareforkids]

Well since you don't live together but you eat dinner together every night I'd either stop that or switch weeks, you buy the groceries one week, he buys the next. If THIS is what is really bothering you and not some larger issue that is just being represented by the dinner/groceries then STOP making him dinner. Just tell him you want to change up your routine and won't be doing dinners together any more and then start buying less groceries or use the leftovers for lunches or two dinners which will save you money.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I understand your stress. You are trying to pay for utilities and rent. He stays over, eats your meals, then you go out once a week and he doesn't even pay for your dinner.

The stress of not being able to keep up financially is difficult and you need to be straight forward and tell him, you are not surviving or 'just'. If he calls you cheap in this instance as well? I'd be finding a new boyfriend to be honest. He's there enough, but you are paying for absolutely everything.

I think what you are feeling the most is 'resentment and the feeling of being used'..

We all want to feel we are someone and important and helped. That's what a true relationship is about no matter age.

[Patti-here]

I'm sorry, I'm coming in here late, I don't know how deeply involved with this man you are, but if he's not living up to your expectations of what you're looking for in a mate, you can always just cut him loose, there are plenty of fish in the sea... Just a thought...

[Something_Awesome]

Easy - take him shopping with you and on the way to the store ask him how many meals he'll be eating with you that week. Then split the cost of the groceries appropriately.

Wicked awesome idea!!

If I was a lady, I would not be with a guy that behaved that way. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over three years and I never let her pay. And there are many reasons for this, but one of them is that it sends such a wrong message to people on the outside. If we go out to a nice place for dinner (which I love doing with her) and she pays, it just.... it broadcasts the wrong signals to others and the people around you. The way I interpret it is if my girlfriend pays then she isn't a lady because if she were then she would be worth paying for. Look, I understand women that do not want their man to pay EVERY time (you feel guilty about it, and that's admirable), but after four years of meeting you less than half way? Now don't get me wrong, I don't think even meeting you half way is good enough. The guy should be willing to go the distance for you.

[atskitty2]

[/QUOTE] And there are many reasons for this, but one of them is that it sends such a wrong message to people on the outside. If we go out to a nice place for dinner (which I love doing with her) and she pays, it just.... it broadcasts the wrong signals to others and the people around you. The way I interpret it is if my girlfriend pays then she isn't a lady because if she were then she would be worth paying for.[/QUOTE]

Could you elaborate on this please? I'd like a better understanding of where you're coming from here.

[Something_Awesome]

And there are many reasons for this, but one of them is that it sends such a wrong message to people on the outside. If we go out to a nice place for dinner (which I love doing with her) and she pays, it just.... it broadcasts the wrong signals to others and the people around you. The way I interpret it is if my girlfriend pays then she isn't a lady because if she were then she would be worth paying for.[/QUOTE]

Could you elaborate on this please? I'd like a better understanding of where you're coming from here.[/QUOTE]

Yes. What I am trying to say is that when a person makes a decision, especially regarding money, it is based on the value they expect to receive in return for that money. He's going to buy the meal for himself because he's hungry. By deciding to not buy his girlfriend's meal, with whom he has been with for four years, he is saying that the cost of her meal is not worth her company. How repulsive is that? He's saying that she's not worth it. I am going to go out on a limb and say that this guy is like that with a lot of people. You can't do anything with a guy like that.

A guy that won't pay for his lady is putting himself before her (as Pollon said). If a ship is going under, this guy will throw women and children off the lifeboats to save his own butt.

When my girlfriend paid for me I did not anticipate how I'd feel afterwards. I didn't know how I'd feel when it actually happened because I had not gone through that experience before.

Kittykat83: Time is the most finite resource we have. It can never be replenish. Dump the guy and find someone else. He's wasting your time (and probably everyone else's).