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  • Lovcookie
    Veteran Member
    • May 2010
    • 222

    Does sex increase your openness to falling in love?

    When I look back on my past relationships I realized that out of the women that admitted they fell in love with me a much higher percentage were from women I had a sexual encounter or relationship with then not. Are you much more likely to fall in love with a person after a intimate encounter?
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    There are a lot of variables in play. By having sex in the mix, was there a longer time together and does the longer time together lead to the feelings of love (or is it just lust?) For me it's hard to have the feelings of love without spending enough time to get to know a partner. Does having sex make it so people throw caution to the wind and just assume compatibility? Is it that they cannot admit to a bad choice of who they have sex with so they double down and want to force a relationship? There is an ulterior motive to staying together and ignoring incompatible personalities if sex is really good. The reward to staying together is more good sex. That goes on until the incompatibilities take over and maybe the sex cools off a bit over time. Of course, if the cycle isn't fully completed and a split occurs while the ex's is still in love, there would leave a love feeling from someone you have had sex with.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • jen1447
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2013
      • 2380

      I've seen it go either way - no sex and the woman instead envisions the guy's 'perfection' (because he hasn't shown he's imperfect yet and she imagines he's the best lover in the history of mankind), and sex-based bonding. Both can make you fall in love, so I'd say there's no real formula.

      Comment

      • Lovcookie
        Veteran Member
        • May 2010
        • 222

        I have had four women say they love me after the act of making love, starring eye ball to eye ball naked and full body contact. Another 4 admit it the next day or so. I had a few women say they did not realize how sex could create such strong feelings so quickly. Great for my ego but I have too much respect for those woman to let it go to my head. I was flattered for sure. Only 2 admit love before any sex at all. I on the other hand find I don't fall in love easy at all (once and sort of a second time and Ive been around for awhile lol). In fact that part bothers me why I have not for many years.

        Jen I guess it does go either way but it does seem to increase the odds for some. Is this your personal experience or from what others have mentioned? Has sex helped you fall in love or the man/woman fall in love with you. Was it easier for the woman to fall in love after sex or the man. Sorry for so many questions lol.

        Comment

        • jen1447
          Veteran Member
          • Oct 2013
          • 2380

          There's no appreciable pattern.

          Comment

          • calibri~
            Veteran Member
            • May 2014
            • 484

            Lovcookie I think you might have it the wrong way around.... Unless they are having sex just for sport, most women are more likely to sleep with men that they feel they might fall in love with....
            “...choose to believe in your own myth
            your own glamour
            your own spell
            a young woman who does this
            (even if she is just pretending)
            has everything....”
            ― Francesca Lia Block, How to (Un)cage a Girl

            Comment

            • Lovcookie
              Veteran Member
              • May 2010
              • 222

              You could be right calibri
              It was not like I just met these women and hopped in the sack.
              But the latest seemed like the sex was just for the sport (fun), at least in the beginning.

              Comment

              • jns
                Assistant Admin
                • Mar 2010
                • 8398

                It's probably a mixed up situation consisting of oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine and endorphins. If you make a strong impression that causes the right releases, sure, instant bonding can occur. Note that instant bonding cannot change true reality, only the view the one experiencing it sees.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment

                • Something_Awesome
                  Veteran Member
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 1219

                  Told my GF I loved her before we had sex. This happened pretty darn early too... However, we had known each other for a decent while before dating. We then had sex together (first time together) not the next date, but the date after.

                  In all honesty, we've talked about the time we first met and the first time we exchanged words, and we both feel that if it was not "love at first sight," then it was something close to it. I've obviously been in relationships before, but my current GF has definitely been somethin' else!
                  "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

                  Comment

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