[kellyc25]

Yesterday I had a suspicion about my husband from something I found in an e-mail. I have never had a reason to not trust him but my gut told me to check the cell phone records. He has been texting a woman consistently since June..during his lunch, breaks, after work and when I have been out of town. He has known her since highschool and had nothing nice to say about her..in fact she hasn't even come up in conversation. He denied anything to do with her when I asked him over the phone but when he came home I had the phone records. He claims that they just had "conversations" and that he would never cheat on me. He lied to me..twice yesterday, why should I believe him now? We are approaching our one year anniversary and I just don't know what to do..I never expected this from him. Thank you for reading!!

[rcoreyus]

What did the text messages say? Were they innocent or not.

The following really isn't aimed at you in particular its just I don't know why so many people check up on their spouses. If you think you spouse is cheating then leave. Don't torture yourself by continuing to check until you find something - eventually you will (real or not). There is no way to know that your spouse is NOT cheating, only that you haven't caught them this time.

[Livelaughlove]

If they have been texting for months and he has not told you about her then there IS something going on behind your back.

A man will not spend that much time on a girl if he doesn't expect to get something in return.

Its the honest truth. That is unless, he told you about her in which case he didn't. Why don't you tell him for you all to get together or something over lunch and see try to read how they look at each other or there lack of looking at eatchother.

Remember he will only get loud or offensive if he is hiding something. If he is not then he will agree to it even though he may be alittle comfortable.

Hope this helps

Live laugh and love

[Guest]

yeah, well you also need to consider what the "something" is.

people are jealous creatures. many times they lie and mislead in an attempt to keep the other person from feeling hurt, even when there's nothing really to be hurt about.

maybe ask him, "well, if I was doing what you are, how would you feel and what would you ask me to do?". maybe it's just simple flirting, maybe it's more. who knows.

[rcoreyus]

I spend a lot of time communicating with women without "anything in return" (I'm too old to text, but do email). I think it really depends on the content of the message. I don't hide it, but I don't tell my wife either. I don't ask her who she is emailling, and I would consider it extremely rude to check her email.

In this case there might be something going on, but there might not.

If they have been texting for months and he has not told you about her then there IS something going on behind your back.

A man will not spend that much time on a girl if he doesn't expect to get something in return.

Its the honest truth. That is unless, he told you about her in which case he didn't. Why don't you tell him for you all to get together or something over lunch and see try to read how they look at each other or there lack of looking at eatchother.

Remember he will only get loud or offensive if he is hiding something. If he is not then he will agree to it even though he may be alittle comfortable.

Hope this helps

Live laugh and love

[lisasalas]

im in the same situation with my husband we have been together for 20 years and just recentley he told me he was sociallizing with a woman friend and promise me there was nothing going on. i still heart broken about it and dont know how to deal or except this.i know how you feel. my heart goes out to you. we are still leaving together, and i think we are gong to try to work it out.my friends closes friends tell me to try to work it out unless im ready to give up our marriage that we have had for a long time

[rcoreyus]

lisasalias: why are you heartbroken? If he is just socializing what is the problem? Or do you not believe it is just socializing? Do you have any reason to think there is more to it? (it wasn't clear from your email).

I don't know your situation, but please remember that in work situations, people are expected to treat co-workers the same regardless of gender. I invite men and women from work to lunch - either in groups or one at a time. Imagine if I just invited people of one gender to lunch - since socializing and work often mingle it would be a type of discrimination.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

rcoreyus
lisasalias: why are you heartbroken? If he is just socializing what is the problem? Or do you not believe it is just socializing?

lisasalias
he told me he was sociallizing with a woman friend

I agree with rcoreyus in this regard.

To the threader, 1 year married?

Have you ever considered that it does take a little while for people (mainly in my opinion, men), to let go of the batchelor thing/ stage, and settle into a union, partnership as marriage is?

Texting, can be flirting and can also mean, not ready to let go of the past life he had, and into this bond of togetherness, forever, he may not be cheating at all, rather can't stop flirting, through fear of letting go of his past, that being single... not that being other women, persay.

CW

[Passion]

Hello Kelly,

look at my posts. How they first started and now how it is ending.