[Iseulda]

I'm going to echo the main sentiment of every post so far. Leave him and don't go back.

Once a man (or woman) resorts to violence with his (or her) partner then the dye is cast and it will happen again. He may be able to change and get help so he does not repeat the pattern with his next partner, should he ever have one, but not with you. You've already accepted his apology and gone back only to have him do worse. That is the pattern and it is practically impossible to break.

I do not believe, even with the best will in the world, that your pastor can help you - especially if your husband does not want to seek help there.

It is easy for us to say 'chalk it up to experience and move on' and hard for you to do it, but the longer you stay the harder it will be to leave. By staying and accepting even the possibility of violence you are accepting the possibility that you deserve that treatment. You do not.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

[WildChild]

Got to wonder where the OP has gone?

[Iseulda]

Packing her bags and bags for the kids, I hope.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's only been a day, since she posted.

I know that you wrote a poll, so you probably just expected people to tick boxes and then look at that, not get so many replies, but you did.

It would be nice if you weighed all that up and thought about it all, and see if you can see things there that ring true.

Don't be frightened to reply either when you do, after all this is the internet and we don't know you.

I hope that your not frightened of him finding this either, and therefore, holding out for a few days before having a look when he's not around, if you are? Then, seriously, ring your family to come and get you...

CW

[Iseulda]

And I forget to add - there is no shame in this for you.

For him there is.

Not for you - you have done nothing wrong - Remember that.

[sourpuss]

I clicked 'leave and see if he'll change' only because there are kids involved and I think that you should A: leave and B: keep the doors of communication open so your kids can have a relationship with their father.

[crystalrose]

Oh this is definately a deal breaker. I have been in this situation. It took me years to get out. It was the hardest thing I did, thought I could never cope.
IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID. I am still single, but so much happier. When you are in an abusive relationship you loose your identity. I have now rediscovered myself and cannot express how much better that makes you feel.

[HALFNOTHING]

We can't blame her if she doesn't want to live her husband this time. I've been in this situation like this. I even agreed married to him though he hit me twice because I was thinking I had faults and I love him very much..

If she will leave, she realize that her husband had the fault but if she's not, she's not accepting that he also has it..

she needs time to think...

just like what i had, it took me 1 year to realize, it's not my fault at all so i packed my things and run away from him...

[AlleyWay]

Man this subject really bothers me. He doesn't want to get help so what do you expect him to do next time he gets mad? If you let him hit you with no consequences then why stop? The more he hits you the easier it gets and the worse it's gonna get. There are a million MEN out there who will treat a woman like the queens that you are. Think about what's important him or your life and your kids. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the best thing to do.