[starjoy08]

I have been married for one year!!! For two months we have been living apart. I have a new job and had to move. He is still living in our hometown finishing he job up. It has been very hard on us. I have been so lonely. He is home with his family and our friends. I am in a new town, with a new job(that is not working out)and I have no one to talk to or spend my time with. He spends time with friends and I am not mad about that but it still hurts that I am alone. Well, now it is over!! He is coming to stay, his job is over. He blames himself for making us go through this. But I tell him we made the decision together. I think he still blames himself. I fear that when he moves down with me, he will have more time to think about it. When he comes to stay, he wont be working. His new job does not start till the end of August. What next? How can I help him?

[caterpillar79]

Maybe you can ask him if he's interested to do some volunteer work, you know, food bank, red cross, any civic organization - that will keep him busy (if he's into those things). He'll make more friends, and so will you. Or maybe join a church (where you both feel comfortable at), and be active in it, join the choir, just anything that both you or him alone can do while waiting till August.

Another thought is to have him enroll in some classes that would add up to his college hours, or just for recreation, like gourmet cooking, martial arts, scuba diving, music lessons, etc... just a thought.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, now it is over!! He is coming to stay, his job is over. He blames himself for making us go through this. But I tell him we made the decision together. I think he still blames himself.

I think you have a beautiful husband, you moved, you were alone, he was around family and friends, you weren't, he feels guilty.

He is saying he missed you, loves you and honey, he's coming home.

You don't have to help him over anything, hug him and love him and say hi honey so glad your home...

I think you will ditch your job and he will have to go through this again and you will both end up where you were, i think it was "money" that made you make that move to start with... and I think you will not care anymore, it's him you want...and you'll work through the next venture.

Just tell him, that ..

It's a venture, to our future and what ever is next we will work again.

CW

[HALFNOTHING]

good point!

I agree..

Don't afraid of what will happen. you just two have to adjust with your new life.

[baja]

Hang in there starjoy08, that is certainly a bumpy start to your marriage but I would recommend two things.

1) You said you have been so lonely. It is very important you have someone to talk to other than your husband. Never underestimate the power of another perspective and the therapeutic effects of getting something off your chest.

2) Recognize the importance of him tying up the loose ends of his previous job and ensure he focuses on the new job so that he can start off on the best foot possible. In the meantime, share your feelings and talk it through. Use the next two months to get back in sync before you both become mutually busy with work and miss this golden opportunity.

[Tama]

Every one here posted wonderful advice, as usual.
It seems that he feels bad that you felt lonely.
Be thankful that you have a man that takes notice of this fact, and has the compassion to feel bad for you.
Being together again will put you two back on the right foot, and you will be able to move forward in your marriage, knowing that you have a man that not only takes into account how you feel, but is man enough to try and shoulder the burden for you.