[kfifield]

My husband left. We have been together for 7 years. We tried to get pregnant for the last 3 years and were finally successful. I'm 5 months now. I am not from this country and I do not have a job or any family or friends here...this was his hometown. My family won't help and I've lost most of my friends over the last couple years - the distance was too great and we all just grew apart. He has cut off all finances. I am worried that he will cancel our medical insurance. I don't know what to do. I am currently in our home but I will not be able to pay the mortgage so I don't know how much longer I can stay. This all seems like a bad dream. I don't have anyone to talk or turn to, I don't have any money, and I don't have anywhere to go. I am worried about my baby more than myself. All of this hurt I'm feeling cannot be good but I don't know how to be in less pain. I can't believe there are are anymore tears left but there are. I've called his friends, family and work but no one has seen him - he just disappeared. I know he is okay though because he changed our accounts. I feel so scared, hurt and humiliated. He can't possibly ever have loved me or the baby. How could I have been so wrong. I don't know what to do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey kfifield,

First of please take a few deep breathes whilst you read the replies and know that there will be many more to come, pending when people get on line okay.

You do have friends as strange as this will sound, us... So please stay with us over this.

Can I ask you, where are you living? And, where are your parents living? It's important so that we can give you some opinions as what you can do.

I understand his parents may not want to tell you where he is or friends if they are protecting him but I'm not getting why his parents who will be "grandparents" aren't comforting you. Did you get along well with them? Have you told them your situation?

What about work, where he worked have you confirmed he's left there or he's still working there?

Remember 2 things.. 1) You will get through this because there is a solution and 2) Your baby is important right now, your only 5 months pregnant, so deep breathes and lets see if we can come up with some answers if you wouldn't mind answering those questions.

CW

[WildChild]

Yes, more information would help. What was your economic situation before he left? You need to talk to an attorney in any case, you have rights, you need to learn what they are and how to enforce them.

[Guest]

Yes. First things first, you need to call a lawyer. Get a recommendation from a friend.

Don't worry about the house - even if you aren't making payments, you have many months before anything will happen, so you have time to figure things out....whether you want to sell, etc.

Why did he leave?

[LanaBear]

I agree with CW, take some deep breaths. All this added stress isn't going to do either you or the baby a lot of good right now.

You need to get in touch with an attorney. Find someone who does pro bono work or someone who can fight to have you hubby cover your legal costs.

I think answering some questions posed up above will help us all in helping you. Were you two having problems prior to his abrupt departure?

[noor]

Try talking to him once. Tell him that you were together for 7 years. Remind him that the baby is a result of your trying for 3 years. It's a sign of love. Ask him why did he leave you? There should be a reason.You are pregnant & your parents and his parents should be helping you as you are about to enter a new phase of life.

If talking with him and asking your parents and parents in law doesn't help then go for the legal way for the sake of your child. Atleast your parents can give you a loan so that you can hire an attorney.

[kms]

Oh my goodness, I cannot even imagine what all this must feel like for you.... gosh. One thing that I want to say is it is sooo important that you try to keep your stress and negative feelings to a minimum as it can severely impact your baby's health. So always try to take deep breaths and hang in there, at least for your baby's sake.

With that being said, I would definitely contact his family to let them know what has happened. He might be a jerk but I can't imagine everyone in his family being completely heartless too, especially since his child is involved.