[BellaGal]

Yesterday morning my husband called me. He had a really weird dream that night that I realized I didn't want to be with him and was going to leave him. It was one of those dreams where you can physically feel it - and he woke up feeling like it had actually happened. He called me a couple times during the day for reassurance, and then again today it was still bothering him. We had a little talk - just about the dream and how he is worried that it is true. He recalls bringing this up before in the past that he can see something in my eyes like ... he can see into me and he sees that I never got to live and experience things like he did. So his suggestion was that once my next semester is over at the end of September, that my sister and I go on a trip - Europe or a road trip across the country ... whatever we want to do and he will make sure that I've got the $$ to enjoy myself (but since we'll be just moved into a new home in June not like a plethora of spending $) and he said don't call, don't anything - just have me and sister time and do some living.

I thought about it ... and I think it is a good idea. I sent my sister a message and will talk to her tomorrow before her next night shift.

What are people's thoughts on this? Is it strange for a married woman to just go away for a month or so with her sister and not contact her husband at all just to find out who she is and have some real life experiments and experience?

Do you think that taking this opportunity, especially now since we do not have kids and since we will be living close to my parents so they can take care of Bella (my dog) when my husband is out of town, is a good idea? Will it help me with my 'me' issues?

[Maximus]

Time for professional help...

Bellagal, I read your stories and I was very touched, and also got a sense of urgency.
This time is a time for you and your husband to seek professional help.
The regular talking and attempts to reason won't work. For anybody so much involved with steroids the reasoning ends up in a very polarized discussion, with him being on the defensive all the way.

At this stage counselling and clinical assistances are the best bet.
About the holiday ? You should postpone until the steroid issue is in the process of being addressed.

There are numerous stories of steroid effects on people mental stability.(depression, hallucinations, etc...)

Read the story of Evan Tanner, among others.

I wish you and your husband the best, into overcoming this problem.

V.

[coastchick]

BellaGal I think a trip with your sister sounds like it would be a fun idea! As long as its for the purpose of just getting away to have some fun with your sister and learn a bit about yourself and enjoy each others company and not to evaluate whether or not you want to be with your man. do you want to be with him? is he a good man? you make sure you know this before you go.

"There are numerous stories of steroid effects on people mental stability.(depression, hallucinations, etc...)" ......this is the difference between use and abuse...have you read the stories on the effects of coffee or alcohol or fast food abuse?

my 2 cents

[Maximus]

BellaGal I think a trip with your sister sounds like it would be a fun idea! As long as its for the purpose of just getting away to have some fun with your sister and learn a bit about yourself and enjoy each others company and not to evaluate whether or not you want to be with your man. do you want to be with him? is he a good man? you make sure you know this before you go.

"There are numerous stories of steroid effects on people mental stability.(depression, hallucinations, etc...)" ......this is the difference between use and abuse...have you read the stories on the effects of coffee or alcohol or fast food abuse?

my 2 cents

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, certainly.
The use of steroids on a regular basis is a very serious problems, and the husband has shown some disturbing symptoms already.
Going on a trip away now seems to me ill-timed. I doubt she will enjoy her trip regardless how much money is poured into the "fun".

I am afraid putting the use of steroids on the same level with alcohol or even fast food is unfortunate to say the least. Hopefully this doesn't turn into an academic discussion on the use or abuse of toxic substances.

Peace.

[BellaGal]

BellaGal I think a trip with your sister sounds like it would be a fun idea! As long as its for the purpose of just getting away to have some fun with your sister and learn a bit about yourself and enjoy each others company and not to evaluate whether or not you want to be with your man. do you want to be with him? is he a good man? you make sure you know this before you go.

"There are numerous stories of steroid effects on people mental stability.(depression, hallucinations, etc...)" ......this is the difference between use and abuse...have you read the stories on the effects of coffee or alcohol or fast food abuse?

my 2 cents

I've always wanted to go away on a road trip or travel with my sister - I miss her and don't get to see her a whole lot. It would be interesting to see what I can do 'on my own' - i.e. without relying on my husband, just relying on myself and my sister to see what I can do, you know? I love my husband. I do want to be with him - just thinking about him or seeing him makes me smile (except for lately with all this stress - but, I think I'm ready to sit down with him and have a truthful honest talk about everything and get everything out in the open) and when he talks about wanting us to have a little girl ... *happy sigh* He is a good man. What is lacking is our communication I think - we both have different styles and we need to work that out and find a way to mesh in that area so that we can be stronger.

I'm absolutely with you - and the steroid use is not really bothering me anymore. You and sourpuss were able to put that into perspective for me and I know that there is no way he is abusing - just using, and I can accept that now and move on. You both have definitely opened up my eyes to the fact that it really is not the steroids that I'm having difficulty with, it is our relationship dynamic.

Thank you!

If my sister and I go, it's not for another 5+ months ... so I think that it is great for us/me to have a goal and be able to grow my relationship with my husband to a stronger bond before I leave.

I do agree though with what coastchick is saying - absolutely anything abused can cause un/known and possibly severe side effects with anyone. Like they say - everything in moderation, right?!

[Babyroo25]

What are some of the signs that should make me suspicious that my husbands taking steroids?

[Mommy2_3]

I am in Bellagals shoes and I need advice. This post was written 2 years ago, how do I know if my post will be read or better yet, how can I get in touch with Bellagal?? I need advice!!

[Fallen1]

Old thread. Closed.

I am in Bellagals shoes and I need advice. This post was written 2 years ago, how do I know if my post will be read or better yet, how can I get in touch with Bellagal?? I need advice!!

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