[JustHormonious]

Thank you both!

There is an underlying issue and until now I guess I didn't even realize it. Just being able to write my thoughts, has made me face my biggest fear, the pending "no career"... (32 years, 2 careers, what will I do?)

Unfortunately the hardest change is yet to come, for me anyway. My husband and FIL have asked me to give up my career this coming year to help care for my MIL, who has Alzheimer's. There was no hesitation, I love her, and the promise that she will remain at home, will be kept. I have spoken with my FIL about moving in with us and he will not, therefore, I will be moving 600 miles away for an indefinite amount of time. It is a shame when the person you love the most, doesn't have a clue of the magnitude of their request. Ain't love grand!

I'm starting to feel a little better now, but I still want him to change shifts...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Then it sounds to me that what you really want, need is support....

Your fearful for a lot of reasons:-

No more being a career person
Having to be a caretaker
Not having your husband there

The third one, is not because it's your turn/time it's because of the above two....Your going through a very emotional time now and fearful of "change" and so you want him to "change" as well to suit, help, adjust, be there....

I think you firstly have to view that and ascertain things that you can do that can help you, through the lost of career, and new position, up-most and foremost because even if he did change his shifts, your going to have a tough time coping with change yourself.

CW

[WildChild]

Something to consider - this will affect your retirement fund. Are you in a posistion that it is adequately funded to meet Your future needs? Are you and your husband's finances set up so that if he predeceases you, you will be taken care of?

[JustHormonious]

WC - Yes, we are pretty secure. To clarify what I wrote in the previous post: I have worked for 32 years, (First 2 yrs practice jobs) 2 careers. 1st one was 15 yrs with the Department of Corrections: 2nd one is my current position of 15 yrs, I would like to work for 10 more yrs (I love my job and my paycheck). I was having a little mini-melt down earlier today but it has passed.

After having a nice dinner together tonight, my husband informed me that he will be going to 1st shift in March. I am a very happy woman. He also informed me that he will be taking 6 months off to be with his parents, when the time comes. He will take 3 months at a time. So this means, I will be able to do the same and keep my job. Yeah!!! Apparently, he has been thinking about this for awhile. He didn't want to tell me until it was approved by his company. It was approved on Friday.

This is why he asks the initial question "what do I want for our anniversary" he already knew what I would say and also knew it had been approved. I guess my being "soft" spoiled his surprise. This whole mess could have been avoided. Very thankful tonight...

[Casey715]

Good 4 U!!!!!! It is really nice when thing come together. Sounds like a real fine man there, and sounds like he has a great woman behind him. I'm truely happy for you. Have a wonderful Sunday.

[Ashlee T.]

Sounds like a perfect resolution. Glad this worked out like you wanted it to.

[WildChild]

Wow, that is great that the two of you can balance work, personal and family!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Isn't it nice to know your on the same page?

And, also that he wanted to surprise you and be sure it was happening, kind of feel a bit giddy myself reading that

[sourpuss]

Wonderful! Sounds like the two of you are very thoughtful and caring people. It's nice to read when something like this works out.

[JustHormonious]

I knew I married him for a reason. He's a good man. Thanks to all...