[CHANDLERS WISH]

his snoring has increased and he's complaining he is always tired.

This is NOT good and is the most important part of your thread....Yes overweight people can snore more, louder, harder....that's hard on you because, you can't sleep which makes you probably grumpy in the morning and dead tired yourself... He's tired, because the food remains in his stomach, not digesting but, there are other things to consider, sleep apnea, that's dangerous, he can die in his sleep, high cholesterol...both dangerous...Get him to worry about that and get him to the Doctor....

I've tried to nicely explain to him my feelings but I don't think I'm getting through.His belly is starting to get in the way and the angles are off/not as much pelvic contact as i'd like. #3 nothing turns me off more than watching him eat a mountain of mac and cheese or 1/4 slices of cake at a time.

But what he sees, is it's about you....you can't sleep, your can't have sex as you did, he can't get on top, you feel discusted....This makes him feel worse and turn more to comfort food.

Cooking dinner is not easy for us... He works nights and we own our own business that I run so we eat out a lot. Although I don't eat very healthy myself, I eat much smaller portions.

Yes it is, cold chicken salads, ...Sushi,....chopped veg, with dips, a microwave oven at work for roast with loads of vegetables...There is always an answer...The fact you aren't leading as example, doesn't assist and yes, you need to show your love, not discust and introduce that microwave and work with him, and for you... Your kidding yourself, if you think smaller portions are better for you than say, a few suggestions above

). His main job is sitting all night long

This business in my opinion, is it making you good money? Or, is it a struggle financially? Because it sure is the wrong one for your lifestyle and that includes in bed....He's working all night, as someone stated, way more than likely depressed, bored, lonely......

Think about this....

Your asking how to get him to loose weight when you are eating the same stuff, and not looking at the cause either......of why he feels lost, not important, not happy....

And, your first concern is the medical problems...then the financial and change of that and then, a plan on this food intake both of you...in my opinion...

CW

[Guest]

Be blunt, be direct or he will be dead before he should be.

Ecessive weight leads to all sorts of problems, a laundry list of items that probably haven't even been mentioned here.

How about Sleep Apnea? Joint replacements? Damage to the organs?

[Hopeless Dork]

Be blunt, be direct or he will be dead before he should be.

Ecessive weight leads to all sorts of problems, a laundry list of items that probably haven't even been mentioned here.

How about Sleep Apnea? Joint replacements? Damage to the organs?

Do you really think if it were as easy as being blunt... that we'd have the obesity epidemic that we do in this country? If all fat people had to do was have someone sit them down and tell them how fat they were, all the risks that they'd run fast to the celery isle? No. It isn't as easy that. There is a host of emotional reasons people turn to food in excess, there is a lifetime of bad habits people create that are as hard to break as drug addictions.

Saying , hey your fat, dude... eat better or your going to die... is going to get her no further to getting her husband healthy than she was before saying so. She can tell him she fears for his health and that she herself wants to make changes because she wants them to be healthy together... that will very likely go over a whole lot better and yeild better results.

If she can't eat healthy, can't quit bringing unhealthy foods home... how can she except him to have the will to do the same? Just because she eats smaller portions doesn't make unhealthy foods healthy... maybe the weight isn't growing on her... but is affecting cholesterol, etc... so why not just cut out the bad food across the board... it will give him greater chances for success.

I use to be overweight and had everyone in my family talk to me about my problem... it only intensified my feelings of worthlessness... no one offered any real support just hey... stop gaining weight , okay? cool it on the cookies... while handing me a cookie. Its rediculous.

It wasn't til I decided for myself I wanted to be fit that any true changes were made, and when I made that decision I enlisted the help of my loved ones and said hey... quit brining junk around me, quit offering me junk... got a donut in your pocket? Fine... don't offer me one. Help me to succeed. And guess what? They did. Even though THEY didn't need to lose weight they made the sacrafices of keeping junky food out of sight out of mind for me. Of planning family events that weren't centered around food... etc.

And I lost the weight... and I think back and don't know if I would have been strong enough to do so if all they kept doing was belittling me, all the while offering me extra nachos.

Yes she can tell him, bluntly, your fat, your disgusting... and you are going to get sick... but is that going to get him to where she wants him to be? Um, nah... probably not. Support, is what he needs... a good example is what he needs.