[SaharaJim]

Hi...need some "perspective". Its four in the morning and I just woke up from...for lack of a better word..nightmare...about my ex-wife.
I was at the Republican (political party) National Convention in Tampa Fl.(her home city accross the country). I am a lifelong Democrat ( the other major political party). I was driving around Tampa with my current girlfriend; looking for my ex-wife WHY I was looking for her I really have no idea. I don't think it was about "showing off" that I am fine and happy. Although I was arranging a necklace of Siri Lanka
emeralds around my girlfriends neck. Ex-wife was a ruby fan. Maybe it was just a combination of working on a motorcycle that i had originally bought for my ex-wife and the fact that Tampa has been in the news for the last couple of day. But it freaked me out. what do you ladies think?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweetheart.

Your ex played a big part in your life, but it ended.

You have someone new in your life and you are scared of the future.

There are questions and you want to give this woman everything and let go but you can't .

What is your reason for not moving on in your opinion ?

[SaharaJim]

I really hate it when someone asks my opinion and then tells me I am wrong when I give it. That being said; i don't like what you are telling me. I haven't "thought" about my ex in months. I have given my new girlfriend free rein and she has redecorated the house. I have switched churches so that i go somewhere that they don't ask me about my ex. She doesn't "come up" inconversations. In short I don't know. I will have to "chew on that" awhile. Thanks CW.

[Little]

She was a big part of your life - a big, destructive part. You've done everything consciously you can to put her behind you. Your subconscious isn't done, though. So, it's coming out in your dreams. No big deal. Let your subconscious do its thing. Continue doing everything you can consciously to let her go.

And I can't help it - insert joke here about how being at the RNC was nightmare enough and it was mean of your subconscious to add your wife into the mix.

[DreamP346]

Dreams are a way we resolve the unresolved or deal with issues are may be under the surface. Research has shown that if you continually disrupt a person's dream and don't let them dream, they start going crazy. It is one of our many coping techniques.

Even though your ex is out of your life, she will always be a part of your life. She impacted your experiences, your views on life, your memories, etc. Your mind may continually need to deal with the impact she had on your life on a subconscious level. I don't think you need to worry about it. If she isn't impacting your waking hours, then whatever your mind is doing subconsciously is working.

[jns]

I like rubies.

[SaharaJim]

Burma Rubies are certainly beautiiful stones....but Sri Lanka emeralds are beautiful too. sort of polar opposites red rubies and green emeralds. The two women are quite different in some aspects though very similar in others. New girlfriend is a bit OCD. She has cleaned my house within an inch of it's life.
And re-decorated with a professionals eye toward taste. But where ex=wife came from "farm folk"; new girlfriend comes from the opposite end of the finanncial spectrum. She hasn't said as much but I strongly suspect her family was/is uhhh..."financially secure". Strange that both would be :drawn to me".

[jns]

I've only seen and handled uncut rubies in Thailand, near the border with Cambodia.

[SaharaJim]

Hi ..thanks for the sympathetic responses. I am back to being ok with this...just threw me for a loop coming out of the blue like that. I think a lot of it was "concern"; Florida is getting a lot of flooding and that's dangerous. I still feel the need to "care and protect" the ex...though I haven't seen or heard anything out of her for five months and really don't expect to...afterall.....She's not going to "GET" anything from me.