[Rhonda14]

Yes you are right, children make this kind of situation a whole lot harder..

But in the end you have to do what is best for you and your child.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Yes I know which is hard...

[time2discover]

It's hard now but you'll see how much it'll be worth it in the end.
I'm in a same type situation and will stick it out with you!

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Thank you time2discover(:
It's a really bad situation to be in!

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Well now I understand that even though we just separated 2 days ago he's ready to move on.. With the woman whose claiming he's the father of her newborn baby.. I mean wow really we were together for 4 years and he is already ready to move on that fast.. I guess I really was never that important to him.. I am so hurt I do not what to do.. I mean we aren't together but I thought he would give us some time to heal before he would do that my heart is so broken... I wasted four years of my life with someone that could do this to me.... Sorry I just had to vent..

[time2discover]

Just don't put it on yourself. He has commitment issues and will probably do the same to her.
I know with a child involved the moving on is not so easy but you'll get through it. You're
obviously alot stronger than he is. Don't give up on you!

[Pollon]

Your soon-to-be ex needs a steady diet of new female affirmation to feel whole. Without it, he has an aching hole he cannot tolerate. You were his "security" from which he could seek out his diet. When you separated, he realized that 1) his security was gone and 2) the other female companions were not going to fill the role.

Since he cannot tolerate being alone, undesirable, etc, he panicked, turned back to you and used you for his security. Now that he has found another woman to be his security, he doesn't need you. As others have said, he will now cheat on her to get his "fix" of female attention.

Guys like him are not healthy enough to ever give to others. Everything they do is about feeding their own desperate needs. So he will do what needs to be done and say what needs to be said in order to take care of himself, regardless of how it might hurt others.

The mistake you are tempted to make is trying to understand him as if he thinks and feels like you do. You wonder how anyone could be so callous with others because you could never do that. He can't think that way. He cannot care about or have empathy for others the way you do because his anxiety overwhelms all other concerns and must be dealt with.

He is relationally disabled. You wouldn't expect a developmentally delayed person to do the tasks of a fully mature, healthy adult. It would be foolish. Expecting your ex to behave like a mature, healthy adult is unreasonable. He is disabled.

Your task now is to heal, understand what went wrong, take care of your son and yourself and then, when you are both in a stable place, consider a healthier partner.

Good luck to you.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Thank you for putting it bluntly Pollon, (: I needed to hear that.. But I think you are right about not being alone part but I believe she is just his rebound because he doesn't want to be alone.. That's what happens every time.. That any girl will do now that he has no one..