[wetline7296]

First time post here, but I have been reading for a while. We have sex on a regular basis, once a week or every other week; it is not as exciting as when we were first married because we now have two kids which the both if us take care of. I could use some input about my husbands use of pornography and masturbation. I was pretty sure he did it before we married five years ago. A two weeks ago, I woke up and found him in the living room masturbating while watching a porn move. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, him for being caught or me for seeing it. We had a big fight over this and during the argument he told me he had to take of it since we have been married. I was shocked and hurt at what he said, he had been doing it before I came home from work, three to four times a week since we were married. After I calmed down a few days later, I look back on our married life and he always wanted sex in the beginning. After a while he stopped asking. I do not know what to do about this. Some input would be helpful.

[atskitty2]

Seems like an overhaul of your sex life is needed. If he wants sex, and not just the release provided from masturbation, then work toward that. Are you also unsatisfied with the frequency of sex?

Have a sit down, honest, heart to heart talk about this, and come to a decision on what changes can be made and resolve to keep communication openly flowing on the topic.

[azalea]

I have a very different attitude towards my husband watching porn so I think I may need help understanding - what was the fight about? Had he previously turned down sex but turned to porn anyway? Is he masturbating because he asked for sex but you weren't in the mood? Unless porn is replacing sex, I don't think watching porn and masturbation should be seen as such a bad thing. My husband is very open with me about his masturbation habits and watching porn, and I don't think that it has ever affected his desire to have sex. His sex drive is generally higher than mine and it's how he takes care of himself in out sexual downtime. If he wants sex and I don't, I can't expect him to completely hold all his desire in for me.

There may be a way to compromise with your husband, if you're interested in this... have you ever considered filming yourselves during sex or other activities? Would you feel more comfortable knowing he was watching videos of the two of you? That may help fill his need for pornography and masturbation while not looking at other women.

A man watching porn and masturbating does not always mean that his wife is not enough - talk with him and try to understand what you both need. He's not trying to hurt you, he just has needs he's trying to fill. Try to embrace them, and I'm sure he will try to embrace yours

[Motorguy]

Well Wetline it seem you're put off big time by your husband porn watching. Well if you say he's over sex more then you are. How's he suppose to surpressed his sexually urges. Myself it's way better then your husband cheating on you with another women or call girl. But I think a marriage therapist will be need in the future with you and your husband. I think his porn watching should be a god sin for you. This could have been way worse for you. So why don't you join your husband in his porn watching it may just add some spice in your love life with your husband. So don't knock it until you try it first.

[hot amy]

You should not worry too much about seeing him do this. Do you not masturbate at times when you are alone? Why should it matter if he was looking at porn or not. All men masturbate and lets be honest all us ladies do so as well. If he was seeing another woman would not that be worse? I masturbate frequently when I am alone nothing to be ashamed of or worried that he would know that I do it.

[Guest]

Communication is key to any marriage and it is fundamental to any relationship. Marriage is hard work, every relationship is different but to have a successful marriage
communication is the key, effective communication can repair a damaged marriage. Talk to him about how you feel, be honest and open with what you've to say and let him have a chance to express.