[Hopeless Dork]

I don't really follow what you are asking that hasn't been addressed by the people that answered ... How happy a marriage can be under this or that condition is all speculative anyway, people are individuals and some may be totally satisfied not getting what they want in a relationship though that doesn't seem to make much sense?! If sex isn't important to either person in a relationship, I am sure they would be totally satisfied being married enjoying all the other non sexual perks, having a partner and best friend and someone to share the ups and downs of life with. But in a relationship where one partner or the other desires sex and the other partner doesn't ... I think the resentment from that would seep its way into other facets of the relationship leading to unhappiness.

[cocoa]

I don't really follow what you are asking that hasn't been addressed by the people that answered ... How happy a marriage can be under this or that condition is all speculative anyway, people are individuals and some may be totally satisfied not getting what they want in a relationship though that doesn't seem to make much sense?! If sex isn't important to either person in a relationship, I am sure they would be totally satisfied being married enjoying all the other non sexual perks, having a partner and best friend and someone to share the ups and downs of life with. But in a relationship where one partner or the other desires sex and the other partner doesn't ... I think the resentment from that would seep its way into other facets of the relationship leading to unhappiness.

I'm simply curious about those who've had that experience what they would say, since it's probably quite different for everyone. It'd be interesting to see whether other kinds of physical intimacy are engaged or whether no sexual contact at all is acceptable in these relationships.

[ItsASecret]

It'd be interesting to see whether other kinds of physical intimacy are engaged or whether no sexual contact at all is acceptable in these relationships.

Other kinds of intimacy? So things that people have posted before based on their experience? Like cuddling, holding hands, back massages, foot massages....

[cocoa]

Other kinds of intimacy? So things that people have posted before based on their experience? Like cuddling, holding hands, back massages, foot massages....

Or any other kind for that matter. I'm interested in the emotional aspects of intimacy as well, and how this is tied to physical intimacy.

[Fallen1]

I'm not sure you'll be able to get the input you're looking for here on this question as the majority of threads that have been posted that have to do with little or no sex in a relationship are from those that aren't happy - male or female.

Some of the older long time members correct me if I'm wrong, but I've yet to see (or remember) where there's been a thread about lack of sex posted and both partners are happy.

[cocoa]

I'm not sure you'll be able to get the input you're looking for here on this question as the majority of threads that have been posted that have to do with little or no sex in a relationship are from those that aren't happy.

I wasn't expecting immediate responses right away. if they're couples who can relate, then i'd expect they'd post if they have something to share.

[rcoreyus]

You would really need to hear from both partners. My wife may think we are in a happy relationship with almost no sex, but I don't. I think that anyone who wants sex and doesn't get it will be unhappy.

Maybe there are couples out there where neither wants sex and both are happy without - but they probably don't post to a group like this.

[stressed]

I'm going to disagree with that statement. From my point of view, there are other things. Of course, I never set up house with a woman friend. If I had, would she and I be comfortable walking around with whatever degree of clothing we were wearing or none at all? How about sharing the bathroom, where one is bathing and the other using the toilet? How many people tangle finances with a friend?

- One can live with a roomate of the opposite sex without anything sexual going on. I have seen this happening. Sharing a household and having a "company" sort of relationship is not much of a privilege, is it? If sex was not important then we would have homosexual/heterosexual couples, because then there would be other factors that would matter more than sex. But that is not the case. Living with someone you aren't sexually attracted to equals living with your friend, a partner, or someone you feel close to, but certainly not someone you would call a lover. As for those who have resigned, they have done exactly that: resigned. Either by force or by will. But that does not make them happy.

[pretzel]

Every successful relationship has to have a bonding mechanism. For most of us that comes in the form of intimate physical contact including sexual contact. I'm sure there are couples where that bonding mechanism isn't sexual.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

"Can you have a happy marriage or long term relationship without good sex?"...

I wasn't expecting immediate responses right away. if they're couples who can relate, then i'd expect they'd post if they have something to share.

Cocoa, it's a broad question, your heading... Your asking a leading question, which means our members are answering to that question, having "questioned" themselves of their thoughts, beliefs...

It seems however, you only want "certain couples", although people are usually plural here, to answer based on them personally...

It's a Forum and as such, all posters can reply to the question...

And, as it's a leading question here is my answer....

You say "good sex" .. Not without sex at all...

To me good sex, derives from one or all of the following :-

1. An experienced person.
2. A bond of two people.
3. An understanding to experiment, to aim at pleasing the other..

Without it?

There is no communication, no aims to please, no bond, so in my opinion no... A marriage can not be happy without those three items.

CW