[jns]

It depends how soon is the rematch.
IMHO, a rematch should not occur in less than 6 months.
Anything less than that is unreasonable.
In between he can cherry pick his opponents, to test drive his newly acquired skills (stuffing take downs, striking, getting out of the fence, rolling out from GnP, ...)
This seems a bit much though...So 6 months is really the minimum.

But if he is the rush to get his handed to him as the quickest way to learn, then so be it.

Every sorrow is a blessing in disguise...

He must be supremely confident. I hope he doesn't get his butt handed to him again. I agree strongly with Virgile's assessment of a proper time period. When I said training with a vengeance, I meant it, not a small amount of finishing before a fight. Heavy weight boxers of the era I grew up in (Ali, Foreman, Frazier, Norton) never scheduled fights so closely as their bodies has to recover from the punishment. When he was knocked out, was he properly assessed for a concussion?

[Guest]

He must be supremely confident. I hope he doesn't get his butt handed to him again. I agree strongly with Virgile's assessment of a proper time period. When I said training with a vengeance, I meant it, not a small amount of finishing before a fight. Heavy weight boxers of the era I grew up in (Ali, Foreman, Frazier, Norton) never scheduled fights so closely as their bodies has to recover from the punishment. When he was knocked out, was he properly assessed for a concussion?

Yes, he was evaluated by a doctor both times he lost consciousness and luckily nothing was damaged, aside from his ego.

I'm really worried about him getting beaten again too. : (

I'm just not sure what else I can say/do to get him to reconsider.

[Guest]

Things just went from bad to worse...

I confronted my boyfriend again tonight about rescheduling the fight and we got into a huge argument. : (

He asked me why I don't want him to fight in the rematch and I told him that I just didn't think he was ready yet, and that I was afraid he's going to lose and get badly hurt! He tried to console me like he did last time to make things ok, but I just wanted to get through to him so I told him it wasn't ok and that if he steps back into the ring on Friday he's going to lose and that I'll do/say anything I can to prevent that from happening!

He got really angry after hearing this and then accused me of not being supportive/believing in him. I was really upset after hearing this because I've been through quite a bit with him and have supported him all the way thus far, but I just can't let him throw himself in the ring and get turned into a punching bag again. I love my boyfriend and I don't want to see him get hurt/embarrassed again. : (

We're not really talking right now, and I'm really concerned because I wasn't able to change his mind about the fight and now he knows about how I think his chances are. I don't want to be pushing him away and lowering his confidence by having him think I don't believe in him right before the fight!

I'm so desperate right now I've been contemplating trying to meet with his opponent and talk him out of fighting, even if I need to pay him something to make it worth his while. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll be able to influence him anyways since he's probably just loving being given a chance to embarrass my boyfriend again, in front of me. : (

I'm honestly just completely lost here and have no idea what to do. Do I keep fighting to try to postpone the fight, or just accept that it's going to happen and try to prepare myself for his inevitable defeat, while I try to support him as much as possible?

Please respond if you have any suggestions/advice on what I should do, I really want to hear them and I apprentice your support greatly.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Rocky........

He trained first, ensured he felt confident could beat him....his apponent...

A Millionairre who failed, researches first and works it and tries again....

You want to win, prove it to me, have my support? Then think like a winner, practise, win in your practise over and over and then go get them..You think I'm stupid? All successful people that fail win...But only if they spend time first ensuring they will win the next time, not be silly and go for it,out of ego...Ego never won...in any situation...That's why I've said what I've said so if you believe in me, then believe in that...because that's reality boyfriend..................................

CW

[Guest]

Rocky........

He trained first, ensured he felt confident could beat him....his apponent...

A Millionairre who failed, researches first and works it and tries again....

You want to win, prove it to me, have my support? Then think like a winner, practise, win in your practise over and over and then go get them..You think I'm stupid? All successful people that fail win...But only if they spend time first ensuring they will win the next time, not be silly and go for it,out of ego...Ego never won...in any situation...That's why I've said what I've said so if you believe in me, then believe in that...because that's reality boyfriend..................................

CW

You want me to tell him that right?

I'll definitely give it a shot, it sounds really powerful even reading it. You're very gifted with words CW. : )

He's so stuck on getting revenge because his confidence is shot and it's bothering him so much he just feels like it will get worse with time and have an effect on his training and inevitably the fight. He thinks if he waits he'll be overwhelmed by the "build up" to the fight once he gets in the ring. I can understand where he's coming front, but he just doesn't have it in him to win the fight right now. I think he's just blinded by the embarrassment and shame of his previous defeat.

I really hope he listens because if he doesn't I'll just be devastated. If he doesn't listen and decides to go through with the fight what should I do? The only option I'll have is to try and do the best I can to support his decision, right? Any ideas how I can mentally prepare myself for the fight if it does happen?

The first one was just so emotionally scaring I can't fathom going through that again. Maybe invite more of my girlfriends for emotional support? I don't think it will be quite as bad because I don't have the illusions of my boyfriend being an unbeatable stud I had the first time. I'm still really scared as to how I'll react though if/when things start to get bad, any suggestions?

Also, It just wanted to thank you again for your support CW, you've been amazing! : )

[Guest]

I'm so desperate right now I've been contemplating trying to meet with his opponent and talk him out of fighting, even if I need to pay him something to make it worth his while. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll be able to influence him anyways since he's probably just loving being given a chance to embarrass my boyfriend again, in front of me. : (

prolly not a good idea...the other guy seems to be a prick and a half and the "price" he may name might not be something you can afford to "pay", if you know what i mean.

I'm honestly just completely lost here and have no idea what to do. Do I keep fighting to try to postpone the fight, or just accept that it's going to happen and try to prepare myself for his inevitable defeat, while I try to support him as much as possible?

Please respond if you have any suggestions/advice on what I should do, I really want to hear them and I apprentice your support greatly.

obviously you don't want him to fight, at least not right now. does your bf have any friends or relatives...parents? why not talk to them? see if they can talk some sense into him. its time for an intervention because your boy is obsessed with the thought of payback and while focused revenge usually leads to improved performance, out and out rage usually has disastrous consequences.

as a last resort you could perhaps talk to the other guy's coach. but chances are he will prolly want his charge to pick up an easy win so he might not be as cooperative either.

but the bottom line is, that if everything is about this fight - your relationship, his premature ejaculation - he is not only not ready to fight again, but he probably needs medical attention.

and if all else fails, do NOT bring your friends to the fight unless you're sure your man is gonna win. as a man myself, the only worse than losing in front of your girl, is losing in front of your girl and 10 of her friends.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm of the opinion that it is his bruised ego, but also like he has to win your respect, even though he has it....if you can get across that you'd respect him more if he trained hard, with viligence and determination to beat this guy once and for all, not at a "hope" but with 100% confidence, you'd respect him more, he may just listen...

Perhaps in addition you can speak to his coach, family and ask everyone to re-uterate it..........so he hears it from more than one person, and over and over.....

Appreciate your comment I think everyone is putting their thoughts into this for you................

CW

[Guest]

prolly not a good idea...the other guy seems to be a prick and a half and the "price" he may name might not be something you can afford to "pay", if you know what i mean.






obviously you don't want him to fight, at least not right now. does your bf have any friends or relatives...parents? why not talk to them? see if they can talk some sense into him. its time for an intervention because your boy is obsessed with the thought of payback and while focused revenge usually leads to improved performance, out and out rage usually has disastrous consequences.

as a last resort you could perhaps talk to the other guy's coach. but chances are he will prolly want his charge to pick up an easy win so he might not be as cooperative either.

but the bottom line is, that if everything is about this fight - your relationship, his premature ejaculation - he is not only not ready to fight again, but he probably needs medical attention.

and if all else fails, do NOT bring your friends to the fight unless you're sure your man is gonna win. as a man myself, the only worse than losing in front of your girl, is losing in front of your girl and 10 of her friends.

You were right. I really wish I had gotten to read your post a little sooner.

I went to the other gym this morning to see if I could talk their coach out of the fight. He wasn't having it, he didn't come straight out and say he couldn't give up a free win, but you could tell that's what he thought about the situation.

On my way out I seen my boyfriends opponent so I asked him if I could talk to him privately. I told him what was on my mind and asked him if he would back out of the fight, or help to get it rescheduled. He basically told me that their is no way in he's letting that "scrawny kid"(my boyfriend) escape a beating, and asked me why I was with that "loser" (my boyfriend) in the first place. I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer and asked if he would reconsider for money. To this he just laughed and said nothing is going to save that "kid"(Actually, an expletive I'd rather not re-post, referring to my boyfriend) from the beating of his life, unless you get on yours knees right now and go down on me. Obviously, I just turned around and walked away, disgusted and appalled he would say that to a woman he just met. As I was walking away he had the audacity to let me know that deep down I know I wanted him, and that he couldn't wait to knock my boyfriend out in front of me again so that this time there would be no question in my mind as to who the real man is. Classy, right? *sigh*

Unfortunately, his parents live out of state and they're not too keen on him fighting in the first place so he'd never listen to anything they say on that matter. As far as friends go most of his buddies are guys from his gym that are on his team that want their captain to go back in their and beat the out of this guy. I'd be hard pressed convincing any of them to tell him to step down.

Yea, you're right he's definitely not ready to fight again, but it looks like that's what going to happen. : (

By medical attention I'm guessing you mean counseling / psychiatric care? That might not be a bad idea to help him cope with future losses. I would even go as far as sex therapist for us, but I think once he finally gets his confidence back everything will be fine in the bedroom.

Thanks for all your help thus far, and thanks for letting me know about my friends. I didn't event think of how much more humiliated he would be to lose in front of not only me, but any friends I brought with me. They'd probably all remember him as "Chloe's boyfriend, that guy who got beat up pretty bad in that fight" and that would really kill his ego. : (

[Guest]

prolly not a good idea...the other guy seems to be a prick and a half and the "price" he may name might not be something you can afford to "pay", if you know what i mean.






obviously you don't want him to fight, at least not right now. does your bf have any friends or relatives...parents? why not talk to them? see if they can talk some sense into him. its time for an intervention because your boy is obsessed with the thought of payback and while focused revenge usually leads to improved performance, out and out rage usually has disastrous consequences.

as a last resort you could perhaps talk to the other guy's coach. but chances are he will prolly want his charge to pick up an easy win so he might not be as cooperative either.

but the bottom line is, that if everything is about this fight - your relationship, his premature ejaculation - he is not only not ready to fight again, but he probably needs medical attention.

and if all else fails, do NOT bring your friends to the fight unless you're sure your man is gonna win. as a man myself, the only worse than losing in front of your girl, is losing in front of your girl and 10 of her friends.

You were right. I really wish I had gotten to read your post a little sooner.

I went to the other gym this morning to see if I could talk their coach out of the fight. He wasn't having it, he didn't come straight out and say he couldn't give up a free win, but you could tell that's what he thought about the situation.

On my way out I seen my boyfriends opponent so I asked him if I could talk to him privately. I told him what was on my mind and asked him if he would back out of the fight, or help to get it rescheduled. He basically told me that their is no way in he's letting that "scrawny kid"(my boyfriend) escape a beating, and asked me why I was with that "loser" (my boyfriend) in the first place. I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer and asked if he would reconsider for money. To this he just laughed and said nothing is going to save that "kid"(Actually, an expletive I'd rather not re-post, referring to my boyfriend) from the beating of his life, unless you get on yours knees right now and go down on me. Obviously, I just turned around and walked away, disgusted and appalled he would say that to a woman he just met. As I was walking away he had the audacity to let me know that deep down I know I wanted him, and that he couldn't wait to knock my boyfriend out in front of me again so that this time there would be no question in my mind as to who the real man is. Classy, right? *sigh*

Unfortunately, his parents live out of state and they're not too keen on him fighting in the first place so he'd never listen to anything they say on that matter. As far as friends go most of his buddies are guys from his gym that are on his team that want their captain to go back in their and beat the out of this guy. I'd be hard pressed convincing any of them to tell him to step down.

Yea, you're right he's definitely not ready to fight again, but it looks like that's what going to happen. : (

By medical attention I'm guessing you mean counseling / psychiatric care? That might not be a bad idea to help him cope with future losses. I would even go as far as sex therapist for us, but I think once he finally gets his confidence back everything will be fine in the bedroom.

Thanks for all your help thus far, and thanks for letting me know about my friends. I didn't event think of how much more humiliated he would be to lose in front of not only me, but any friends I brought with me. They'd probably all remember him as "Chloe's boyfriend, that guy who got beat up pretty bad in that fight" and that would really kill his ego. : (

[Guest]

I'm of the opinion that it is his bruised ego, but also like he has to win your respect, even though he has it....if you can get across that you'd respect him more if he trained hard, with viligence and determination to beat this guy once and for all, not at a "hope" but with 100% confidence, you'd respect him more, he may just listen...

Perhaps in addition you can speak to his coach, family and ask everyone to re-uterate it..........so he hears it from more than one person, and over and over.....

Appreciate your comment I think everyone is putting their thoughts into this for you................

CW

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Tonight I sat him down and told him exactly what you posted earlier. I let him know that in order for him to earn my respect he's gotta get back in the ring and take this guy down, but the only way to do that with 100% certainty is to train hard like a true fighter. That's the type of man I respect, a man who works for himself to the breaking point in the gym and in practice to make sure that when he goes into the ring he's fighting at his full potential. After all it would be shameful and embarrassing to him, his team, and me if he got in the ring unprepared and let some rookie make a fool of him!

Unfortunately, he's set in his mind and absolutely won't budge. He said he earnestly appreciates my concern and was sorry for lashing out the other night, but that he knows in his heart that this is the right time to fight. I know it sounds crazy to say, but his level of conviction is just astounding. I think he really believes he can win and quite frankly his attitude is starting to wash off on me. I think he might actually have a shot at taking this guy down!

I know it's not what I wanted to happen, and it's not the best timing, but I think the fight is going to end up happening anyways, so I should try to be positive, right?

I almost think the best thing for me now is to transition from trying to stop the fight into building my boyfriend up for the fight to make sure he's as prepared as possible, right? Things may not be going the way I hoped, but still don't want my man to feel abandoned in the days leading up to his fight. I want to be there for him as much as possible and make him feel amazing before his fight! I want him to have the best shot he can to win and finally put this behind him.

Do you guys think I'm making the right decision?

Also, I was thinking of sleeping with my boyfriend tomorrow. We haven't had sex since last I mention, when he was only able to last the 3 minutes or so, but I think with this seemingly new found confidence he's been able to muster up things may go much better. The only reason I'm having reservations is that I'm thinking it might be better to wait for the night before the fight. They'll definitely be more buildup if I wait until then, and I think the timing would be perfect. It might be just the little spark he needs to get the edge in the ring the next day! I'm not sure if he could get any more pumped up, than finally being able to make me genuinely orgasm. I know that's been bothering him since he found out I've been faking it in bed after his loss. I think it would do wonders for me to experience that feeling he gives me again as well, right before his big night. I'll be more invigorated than ever to cheer him on. What do you guys think?

And lastly, I agree CW I realize everyone is putting their thought into helping out and again I'd just like to say I'm genuinely appreciative of that. Thanks guys, I hope you can continue with the support! : )