[wepa]

I admit I'm a bit naive. My wife and I were both virgins when we got married. So we are both "clean". My question is this, even though we are both clean are there any dangers for either of us if I perform oral sex on her? I read about HPV, Herpes, etc but does one of the partners have to have a disease to actually get one?

[Uneeklyme]

Yes, one or the other has to carry an STI/STD to transmit it to the other. Both of you being "clean" and I assume you mean disease free, the chances are none to pass anything on or get anything while performing or receiving oral sex. Possible yeast infection is your biggest issue if at all and that is not an STI/STD.

Go nuts. Discover, explore and enjoy.

[FionaDiaz]

*agrees with uneeklyme* If you both have never had other sexual partners than you are both STD free and have no worries!

Also, I just wanted to say that it's so wonderful to hear that there are people who still wait to have sex until after marriage. It's a beautiful thing and I admire you both for having the will power to stick it out.

Best of luck to you both!

[rcoreyus]

I don't know where you are posting from, but in the US I think you are tested for STDs when you get the marriage license (it was a LONG time ago -don't remember well, and it may have changed). If you have both been faithful, you have nothing to worry about. One of the great things about being married (or otherwise in a monogomous relationship) is that you don't need to worry about all that STD stuff, and can touch the other person without a layer of rubber between.

[SinisterUrge]

That is of course assuming your partner was honest with you and hasn't got any outside of the marriage afterwards too. And just because neither of you have "did it" doesn't mean you've both been risk-free. If either of you have had a cold sore, then you've been exposed to herpes at some point.

[Uneeklyme]

True, there is the herpes simplex 1 (cancre or cold sore type) that can be transfered by oral sex. Can be transfered by kissing or just the carrier touching the sore then transfering it to their partner before washing. However, if both are clean neither can pass what isnt there to the other. Now, a cheating partner is another story... you wouldnt know until you had the nasty. They didnt tell you they are cheating so no way are they going to tell you they have "presents"

rcorey... women are titer tested for the german measels(rubella) immunity to make sure they have been vacinated. This is only done if the woman can have children even if they don't plan on having any or more. I don't believe there are any states that require STD/STI testing for marriage or any other thing. It infringes on right to privacy.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

True, there is the herpes simplex 1 (cancre or cold sore type) that can be transfered by oral sex. Can be transfered by kissing or just the carrier touching the sore then transfering it to their partner before washing. However, if both are clean neither can pass what isnt there to the other. Now, a cheating partner is another story... you wouldnt know until you had the nasty. They didnt tell you they are cheating so no way are they going to tell you they have "presents"

rcorey... women are titer tested for the german measels(rubella) immunity to make sure they have been vacinated. This is only done if the woman can have children even if they don't plan on having any or more. I don't believe there are any states that require STD/STI testing for marriage or any other thing. It infringes on right to privacy.

There was someone? PF maybe? Can't recall but definately a post that said that prior to marriage, Virgins are tested for STI/STD?

True, that's where he may be picking it up as when i read that, i recalled straight away and thought WT, that's not fair...

CW

[Little]

Some states don't require any blood tests whatsoever. Just go in and sign papers.

[LadyLane]

Why is that not fair? I know someone who was a virgin when she met her husband but had contracted HPV from someone she was dating, but never had sex with. She to this day has no idea how it happened. So she could have given it to her husband without knowing, since she was a virgin.

Let's say - I'm going to use women as an example - a woman is a virgin, and by that virtue she has decided there is no need to go to the gynecologist for a checkup. Maybe she is a little niave, doesn't know PAP smears are important, she's afraid it will hurt, what have you.

But she's dated some guys and somehow has gotten an asymptomatic STD. Now she's going to get married, has been saving herself for her husband, and they go blissfully along and enjoy each other sexually and she gets pregnant and goes to the gynecologist, who runs a simple blood test and tells her that she's positive for an STD. Now her husband has it as well, and the baby is at risk.

I'm not sure how or why the practice came into being, but it isn't a terrible thing.

Also, where I was married they tested for the rH factor - two people being married carrying that are rH positive have a hard time having a healthy baby. Two rH negative people as well as rH positive and neg won't have problems. It's just to inform you of a risk.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Chandlers Wish
True, that's where he may be picking it up as when i read that, i recalled straight away and thought WT, that's not fair...

You miss read, LadyJane. I said that i thought it was not fair to have to be tested full stop for STI/STD just because your a Virgin. If you re-read.

I don't have any qualms what so ever on any nationality, gay/bi straight/ HIV, or Non, i have many friends of all of these in this paragraph...