[rosalee]

what do u think about a man (almost 30) who has no job,but gambles to make money...and he doesnt make much. he gets enough just to get by,like rents a place with a bunch of other guys cuz the rent is cheap.

hes depressed cuz he has no money ,which leads to no libido. and he wont marry cuz he has no money. but he has two degrees but thinks work is basically for chumps.

how long would u be willing to date a man like that.

but he is a good man and makes you laugh and all that.

Im being serious im not making this up.

im in that love is blind stage but my eyes are opening and im so confused.

[Joy]

I"m sure he is a good person but until he is willing to change what's depressing him then i'd say be his friend. If he knows his lack of money is the cause of his depression he can change that. If he doesn't want some job that he is tied to then he can go get a job with lil responsiblities.

good luck

[Fire(m)]

Work isn't for chumps. Work is for people who want to have something in life. When someone believes that work is for chumps and if he can't just "grab the $ easily" it's not worth working for, I can tell you that this guy is not a great guy to plan a life with.

I would imagine that this same guy would think...I'd love to have a wife and a house in the suburbs and a kid and a dog...etc...but all that is for chumps too, because you have to work for it.

Relationships take work. If you have someone who is unwilling to work, you have someone who is going to be unwilling to put forth ANYTHING necessary to make a relationship work.

This is a really tough situation Rosalee. I do feel for you. Please understand that my perspective may seem a little harsh, but I am a very driven person. I own multiple businesses and I know that the only way any of them are successful is by me working my butt off, investing my money wisely and praying that the grace of God will allow me to pay off my debts, and make a decent return on my investments. I have no time for people who think like your b/f...because while they wish for money, I'll be out making some. Now, I'm not rich (far to the contrary), but one day I probably will be doing pretty well, and it will be ONLY because of the grace of God and my hard work.

Get a hard working guy. You deserve someone who wants to make a better life for you and himself.

Cheers.

[rosalee]

thanks guys, but what was said :

Relationships take work. If you have someone who is unwilling to work, you have someone who is going to be unwilling to put forth ANYTHING necessary to make a relationship work.

...hit me like a nail on the head. things in my life are changing for the better. i feel like i dont want to lose something that i put so much effort into but i want my whole life to grow but theres something that i think is holding me back....

[rcoreyus]

Gambling can be very addictive - and the addicts will make up all sorts of explanations of why they gamble.

Now, not all gamblers are addicts - some just enjoy playing a little, and there is nothing wrong with that. But someone if someone gambles and is poor, they do not have control of the gambling.

Work is not for chumps. Work is your way of returning to society the things society does for you. People who don't work are parasites.

My father was a gambler. He thought he had it completely under control - but somehow he was almost never home. Despite his working long hours we had little money, and many of my memories of time spent with him were from going to the racetrack.

[rosalee]

thank you. and I dont think work is for chumps, i work two jobs because i need to so i wanted to make it clear that it is HIM who feels this way when we first started dating he slowed down the amount of gambling that he did,so i really think too much about it. Then,after a few months i realized how bad it is. And it has "taken over"...and now I feel almost bad about dwelling over it because I knew that he didnt have a job when i met him....sorry im just venting. I just feel stuck in so much,my jobs,my relationship,my apartment just everything and i need to vent

[Fire(m)]

I understand Rosalee...there is little rest for the weary. I too sometimes would like to have a break...just one freaking break, but I don't think I'll get it. I appreciate someone like yourself who is maintaining 2 jobs, etc. working their *** off. It doesn't matter if he had a job or not when you met him. Your priorities can change from day-to-day. Those priorities may have been to meet a nice guy when you met him. Now your priorities may be to meet a nice guy who is ACTUALLY MAKING A DECENT LIVING. Nothing wrong with that Princess Rosalee...enjoy your change in priorities.
Cheers.

[crzyredhead21]

Excessive gambling in a man I'm dating is the one vice I will nt put up with... unless maybe he was super successful with it. Still doubt it though...... well.. maybe if he was good int he sheets..... better make me forget my name if I have to put up with that! LOL

[Guest]

move on. he'll only hold ya back, to the point years later you'll be hating yourself. If he's worth it and cares enough about YOU, he'll get his act together.

[rosalee]

thanks everyone