[Guest]

has anyone watched the show seinfeld? i am sure almost all of you have.
so if you remember the episode where they went to see one the friends baby and it was an ugly baby. well they didnt say to the parents how ugly it was just that it was cute.

now with that said what is chemistry?

is chemistry a word made up just to let some people down lightly? just as the example used with the seinfeld episode, do people use use chemistry as a word to politely say you are not a certain look they are used to or want?

looks are imporatant. when you meet someone through friends you are told of each other. so more information is already given.
when you meet someone online or in person you will get a response on the looks you have. and if someone doesnt meet your look that you are into, like, or used to, you most likely will not approach them.
most people say looks do not matter but i beg to differ. although that is not 100% true but being real it is more true than not.

this is the best way i can describe the question of chemisty, what your thoughts?

[WildChild]

Its part of a way to describe attraction and chemistry does play a role; scent is huge even if you aren't conscienous of it. We pick up each other's pheromones. Looks are part of it too. But all of that can com crashing down if you get into a conversation and that doesn't flow.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I agree with Wildchild.

But all of that can com crashing down if you get into a conversation and that doesn't flow.

What is attractive to one person, may be un-attractive to another person... Have you been with friends, and they say wow she's hot and you look at that person and mentally think, well I don't think so....

Or, celebrities for that matter.

Attraction is an individual thing really.. For every person I have seen on here for instance, "maybe it's me" but I can see each has an attractiveness about them, be it their eyes are beautiful, hair, their whole being, or a charasmic feel, that you "feel" then see, something.

I am again going the the shallow.... If, a person purely is looking at a total package visually, which they do, I am second guessing their love life, sex life, happiness, aint there at home... Because personality, warmth and love is alot more attractive than the outer side of a person...

When you have all of those and fall, then you think the person your with is THE best looking, it just is.

CW

[nc23]

I've always thought of chemistry as being more than just physical attraction. I think having chemistry with someone means you bond well physically, mentally, etc. When someone says you don't have chemistry, I guess it could be a way to let the other person down easily. But it still means they just don't think you have a connection.

Physical attraction isn't just how you look, it's how you carry yourself and how comfortable you are with yourself. If someone says you don't have chemistry, then they aren't right for you.

[happy ending]

chemistry is real, i think it may be an explanation for some of the more unlikely pairings you see around. that strange and inexplicable attraction you feel, it might be smell, pheremones or even magic but it does exsist!

[Guest]

I think that chemistry is a mix of what has been said above. Some of it has to do with physical appearance, scent pheromones, etc. Some of it has to do with how one "carries" themselves, and the conversations they have with each other.

But sometimes chemistry isn't about being BF/GF kind of intimate, it's about being something that's less, or even sometimes about being something that's less & more at the same time.

Now it may be a cop-out to say "we dont have chemistry" instead of "you dress funny and your nose is too big", or "you treat me poorly all of the time", or some other such reason for not wanting to be involved with someone, but aren't those things part of the mix as well?

[WildChild]

No1 I think part of the, "we don't have chemistry" thing is real. Have you ever noticed that in a failing relationship you'll find that the person's smell starts to put you off? I'm really scent sensitive and have found this very true. People I don't like I can't stand the scent of. Not talking perfume - I'm allergic to most of that - I mean their own scent. The man I adore's scent turns me on like crazy - get within sniffing distance - I'm wet. Instant reaction. At the same time it's calming. I think this is a far above thought level response.

With all the stuff we asault our noses with, we aren't as directly aware individual's scents but they are always there. Of course there is a good deal more to attraction, especially long term but this is factor and maybe bigger than we realise. This is part of the whole sex/attraction thing and it affect all human interactions. I know what you mean the sometimes less and more thing, relationships and interaction is a complex thing.

[Guest]

arent we kinda saying the same thing?

[WildChild]

Guess so :-)

[2morrow]

I think we are all attracted to a certain type of people. I myself love blond men. My husband was blond-blue eyed. My last bf was blond-green eyed. There has to be chemistry, absolutely. Especially with the scent of the person. When I first met my last bf, we ended up meeting at a coffee shop, and instead of going inside he came into my car. Well I tell you, the second he sat down, and his scent/pheremones filled the air of my car I was totally enamored. I wanted to jump his bones that second. Even tho we are now broken up, I miss his smell, I just loved it.