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fighting homosexuality

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  • fighting homosexuality

    I fought being gay since birth. I'm 21,and I came out last April. Everyone knew but me.... well I knew, I was just trying to avoid it. I was brought up in Georgia with a gay aunt (I didn't live with her) and I saw her struggles with love and life and I didn't want to go through that myself.... but since I've come to terms with who (not what) I am, my life is going so much more smoothly, and I found a partner who I love more than life itself.... I thank my lucky stars every day for her.... she's my world.... just to give you a little perspective and possibly some hope. for any of you out there fighting this battle... be yourself and love every minute of it.
    ~A wrong is unredressed when it is unaddressed. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
    ~Brandi:cool:

  • Awesome that you've found yourself.

    However, do everyone a favour - now you know you're gay - don't base 100% of your personality on that fact. Too many people don't know who they are, find out they're gay, and then they go "OH! I know who I am! I'm GAY!" and become camp queens etc. because they lack any base personality.

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    • Good point Anon. Being lesbian is one sliver of what make you, you. It isn't your identity. I've been doing some reading on this and there are (at least in the US) some odd dyanamics developing in the lesbian community, with abusive/user behavior becoming more common. Become a wonderful, caring, well rounded woman who just happens to be gay.

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      • Ditto the previous posters.
        One of my gay friends only wants to talk about being gay. He can't seem to understand that I am perfectly comfortable with him being gay - but I'm also not particularly interested (after the first few months when the admission was a big thing for him). It doesn't change my relationship with him at all, and there are more interesting things to talk about.

        BTW, some parts of the country are much more accepting than others. I feel somewhat odd walking through the Castro district with someone of the opposite gender. <g>

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        • I have friends like that. I, however am not. I have, since coming to terms with this [I]aspect[I] of my life, applied to college and am actively job hunting. My depression has lightened quite a bit (with help from meds).
          Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my ability to admit it to myself more than the fact that I am gay. I have no desire to wear men's clothes or drive a rig (not there's anything wrong with that at all)
          I am just a young woman who happens to love her girlfriend as much as her mother, father, and sisters.
          I do agree that being gay isn't what nor all of who you are, it's only a part.... a part that happens to be difficult to come to terms with for most people.
          ~A wrong is unredressed when it is unaddressed. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
          ~Brandi:cool:

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          • Originally posted by brandit87 View Post
            .... a part that happens to be difficult to come to terms with for most people.
            then shame on them!

            I hate the connotation that usually accompanies the whole "coming to terms with" thing, it implies that it's wrong. now maybe you had to admit something to yourself that you weren't comfortable with admitting, but there's nothing to come to terms with. you are who you are and there's nothing wrong with it!

            it's hard enough to find real love in this world. if you find it with someone, that's all that really matters.

            I'm happy for you!

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            • I mean, even though gay rights have come A LONG WAY the past 10 or so years.... they aren't equal.... there's still a lot of adversity and resistance (even from those closest to you) that you meet when you are gay.... I saw the stuff my aunt went through, and didn't think I was strong enough to deal with it.... but I am and I will....
              My girlfriend has been attacked three different times including being beaten, stabbed, and even shot based on the fact that she is gay.... she's a bit on the butch side, so it's more obvious and a lot of guys are threatened by that for some reason.... I wish it was different, but the fact is, it's something that all groups of people have to go through.... all the stereotypes and bigotry.... sorry, I'm rambling.
              But I love her, and I am very happy with her.
              ~A wrong is unredressed when it is unaddressed. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
              ~Brandi:cool:

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              • Good for you Brandi!!! One of the longest most grueling battles in life is to have to live your life denying how you feel. Remember, don't ever label yourself....because WHO you are has nothing to do with your sexual preference, your job, your home, etc. And don't play into the labels others try to place on you.
                California comes to mind because of Prop 8. Anyone who has been or knows much about CA knows that being homosexual there is quite comfortable which is a great thing. BUT, I also see that there is complete segregation, most done by the homosexuals themselves. Many of the lesbians I know there, only have friends who are other lesbians or gay men. They only go to gay bars/clubs. They attend such events as "GAY DAY" at Disney. Or the Gay Pride events held in various areas where homosexuals parade on the streets. I'm a very free spirited accepting person, but I find myself in total disagreement with this behavior. In other words, don't seperate yourself if you don't want to be seperated. It's no more acceptable than white people have a WHITE IS RIGHT day only for white people.
                And the other side of this is that in order to truly believe in equality and freedom, you must also remember that those who differ in their beliefs, are not bad people just because they disagree. Should never be taken to violence, hatred, etc.... but their opinions are just as valid as anyone elses. For instance, many who have strong belief in God also believe that God made us to reproduce therefore being gay is unnatural. And Im sure you'd agree that if it weren't for heterosexual people, we'd go extinct. So, what I'm trying to say is that you have to be firm in your position, love who you are, and be willing to respect the opinions of others as they are just as heartfelt as your own.

                You sound like a level headed mature person and you can truly be a light for others who are going through what you have gone through. Embrace who you are, and be happy with it, and don't allow yourself to feel anger or hatred for those who disagree because you will most certainly experience adversity. Stand firm girl.
                "Be what you're looking for."

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                • Thank you for seeing that. I try not to separate myself based on generalizations.... it makes you a target and a bit of a hypocrite (I agree).... There's a lot of people I get along with and a lot of people I don't... but I get to know a person first... I like everyone when I first meet them... lol
                  ~A wrong is unredressed when it is unaddressed. If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
                  ~Brandi:cool:

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                  • There's a lot of people I get along with and a lot of people I don't... but I get to know a person first...
                    Never change... we can't see in a mirror... And, people can have their thoughts on friendships, but push us away because of our profession, or as they get to know us, always know whom you are dealing with and count your friends on you fingers, unfortunately, those are those that last, everyone else is a curious creature, or want,but can't give, or believe they can be but disregard, or lie and lose... Always wear your heart on your sleeve until proven otherwise.

                    CW
                    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

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