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Post-Hookup Courtesy

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  • Post-Hookup Courtesy

    [My ex and I had a minimally messy breakup last month, in case you're wondering where this came from ]
    I had drunk (protected) sex with a guy I know from class a few nights ago, and the next day he texts to apologize. I can't even begin to put myself in his place to try to understand why he would apologize when to me it looks like a "nobody got hurt" situation, so I figured I'd bring it to WH.
    Any suggestions?
    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

  • Maybe he was worried you might feel taken advantage of since its possible he pereceived you as being in a delicate mental state, post bad break-up. Sounds like he was either just trying to be a good guy, or was feeling insecure and antipating you calling and telling him it was a mistake.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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    • NOOOOOOO...I made a promise to answer first...and I failed....

      ...you know my suggestions....and you say "Monday, Ace...Monday."

      dont stress it...you're only human
      The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it
      -PostSecret

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      • I thought about that, HD, but because it's so the opposite of how I'm feeling, it just seems strange.
        I don't really know him that well, so I guess he doesn't know me that well either. We just have a class together (Yes, Ace, on Monday :P) Perhaps more information will come up then.
        <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

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        • sounds like no big deal, probably just covering his bases so you don't feel taken advantage of.

          Comment


          • My dearest Little,
            On monday...talk to him...ask him about it. Your a feminazi...you can do it (I wuvv you)
            The children almost broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it
            -PostSecret

            Comment


            • Uno:- You go to College with him, so he knows you as a person...soooo, he knows you as a person...

              Dua: (shhhh I don't have to spell it right), No doubt, you talked about "pookie", etc pertaining to the ex.

              Tria: (haha spell it for me later), It's endearing that he did that, knowing you were "drunk" assuming, you may feel hurt or guilty, considering you were in a "distant" relationship of sorts for so long and have now broken up.

              Kind of nice don't you think?

              I do......

              Now, the other side of the coin is.... Soooo... Did she feel guilty?

              If not, does she want to do it again? Like, no one got hurt situation?

              Asking/posing the question to you babe, to get your answer of how you feel about the situation.....


              CW
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment


              • My guess is that he may think that you thought it meant something and maybe he's trying to pre-empt some awkward conversation or situation. I a lot of guys are surprised when a woman just wants to get some action without strings attached, and they don't really know how to handle it.

                By the way, sorry to hear about you and your ex. I thought you two were pretty serious but LDRs are tough so I understand.

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                • lol, it took me ages to convince my current friend with benefits that I wasn't looking for my next husband or a serious relationship, and all I need is sex at least once, maybe twice a week... or as much as he will put out. He did the awkward avoiding me thing, I think he's pretty much gotten over it now he kjnows me a little better.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by mewhenim View Post
                    lol, it took me ages to convince my current friend with benefits that I wasn't looking for my next husband or a serious relationship, and all I need is sex at least once, maybe twice a week... or as much as he will put out. He did the awkward avoiding me thing, I think he's pretty much gotten over it now he kjnows me a little better.
                    I tried having a FWB last fall. Problem is, if I am not getting any, my sex drive is capable of going into hibernation. But if I am getting it occasionally, like you are, once or twice a week, my libido is awake and working, but not getting nearly enough stimulation, so I spend all of my time frustrated and horny except for the nights I would see him. He started pulling away because I was bugging him almost daily for a session of benefits. I think he was afraid I would make too much out of it.

                    Little, I obviously don't know this guy, but its possible he might feel bad for what happened, as you are recovering from a break-up and were also drunk. He may just want to make sure that you knew he didn't want you to end up getting hurt.

                    Then again, I am oddly optimistic at the most random times. This might be one of those, as I am trying to give him credit for being a sensitive type.

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                    • He may be worrying that you were drunk and may feel he took advantage of you. Let him know that its OK.

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                      • I'll weigh in with the general consensus here. He's probably making sure you are OK with it and not feeling taken advantage of or hurt. I wouldn't give it a lot of worry. Hope you are holding up OK with the break up, even when "easy" they can still hurt.

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