[Tara_tiara]

Hi it's me again. I just wanted to say I really like this guy at my church and I was wondering how can I show this guy that I like him with out really going up to him and saying "Hi, I have a crush on you would you like to go out some time?" A little background info on the both of us...

I am 17 and my passion in life is music. I am a smart, honest, friendly, and funny person. I proudly don't smoke, do drugs, chew tobacco, or drink alcohol. But, I am terribly shy when I like a boy.

He is a member of my church. He is very shy, cute, intelligent, nerdy (nerds are the cutest!), honest, fun, and caring person. Plus he doesn't smoke, do drugs, chew tobacco (shivers from disgust),or drink alcohol. He has even stood up for me when a close friend of his insulted me and then he wrote me a formal apology.

So to tie this up how can you tell if a guy likes you and how do you flirt with a guy at church (without looking like the church Jezebel please! keep it clean)?

[Tara_tiara]

I am kinda to shy to just come out and say that I like him.

[Ahryin]

Well is there anything that he does exceptionally well? My suggesting would be to ask him to help you with something. It would allow him the chance to speak up if he likes you...give you the chance to spend some alone time with him. It could also allow the two of you to start a closer friendship

[Tara_tiara]

He is a brilliant writer but I have no problems with English.

[OG612]

Next time he says or does something that you like, just say "That's one of the things I like about you" in an off-handed way, and then continue on with what you're doing. It's a statement of interest. He'll pick up on it and wonder what's up. Drop a few more hints and he should get the picture that you do like him. After that, the ball is in his court. If after a short period of time (say a week or so of dropping hints) he doesn't ask you out, confront him!

"Brian, I really like you. Do you want to go out with me sometime?"

A lot of guys like it when a woman makes the "first move." And it doesn't come across as sleazy.

OG

[Ahryin]

I wouldn't confront him like that...it's church! Plus if she gives him hints and he doesn't bite that means he isn't interested in that way

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Aweee your actually really pretty by the way.

Like I told you on your other thread ( same topic tut tut).... too late to delete this thread, ask him after Church " I'm feeling thirsty, feel like going for a Soda?"...

Your friends, it can't be taken out of context, quit being shy and just do it, ......

It worked for the young lady that posted the same question and he also went to Church so why can't it work for you?

mmm?

CW

[Tara_tiara]

Well one more question is there a way I can not feel completely nervous around him? And I am sorry that they were very similar questions CHANDLERS WISH. I figured one was about flirting and one was and one was about attraction. lol.

[OG612]

I wouldn't confront him like that...it's church! Plus if she gives him hints and he doesn't bite that means he isn't interested in that way

Or he's just really thick. Besides, what's wrong with hooking up with someone at Church? It's not like anyone's going to think she's a for being a little forward. As long as she doesn't start groping him and sticking her tongue down his throat.

Well one more question is there a way I can not feel completely nervous around him?

I actually have a lot of useful meditations that you can do on your own (or can be guided through over the phone) for things like this.

Here's one.

Get in to a relaxed, comfortable position and close your eyes. With your eyes closed, look out through your Mind's Eye (brow point/through your forehead). See a ball of energy floating there. This particular energy is a very calming, peaceful energy that will rid you of all anxiety and nervousness. Breathe in deeply and slowly through your nose, and slowly exhale through your mouth.

With every breath that you take, this ball of energy will float down a little bit more. When it begins to become eye level, breathe in deeper. Breathe this energy right in to you. You'll notice it surround your face; enveloping it. Your face might even feel a little bit warm and fuzzy. It's weird, but completely harmless.

Continue doing this until your anxiety or nervousness is completely gone. This will happen a lot quicker if you are able to keep your thoughts positive during this.

Also, you can do this with any type of energy you wish. If you're tired and sluggish and just don't feel like getting out of bed, you can make it a positive, uplifting energy to get you going. Or creative energy if you've hit a block on a song you're writing. Or... you get the idea. And if the color of the energy ball changes for different purposes (as listed above), don't worry. It's just how your subconscious mind views that energy. For me, creative and healing energies are white. Calming energy is a deep blue. Energy to get me going (energized and motivation) are usually neon white. But it's different for every person.

Best of luck to you!

OG

[Guest]

Sit by him at church. Smile at him when appropriate...make small talk or have a conversation with him. Make sure you flirt *a little*, play with your hair, your head...touch him briefly on the arm if he tells a joke. Actions always speak louder than words...SHOW him you're interested...

Relax, the more you talk with him the more comfortable you will become. Don't rush things, don't be unnatural. Whatever you do, dont' show too much interest too soon. You may scare him away.

If things are going to happen, they will.

Best of luck, sounds like you two are good kids.