[Texinator]

I guess there can be no future as long as he remains trapped in the past

[Guest]

i am so sorry you got into that argument. i dont see how having a cell phone number is too clingy. he sounds like he has way too much baggage, or something else is going on with him. maybe he needs a cell number like 1-800-move-out!

kidding aside, this does sound like too much to have to deal with. there are enough nice people out there to not have to bother with this.

[happy ending]

i know, he said everything is great between us, but that is until i ask for something, or try to move things along, then he has a major breakdown, i have explained to him that things are over, but he is still treating like a joke or just me in a bad mood or something. i havent been nasty but i have been clear and firm, maybe later we can be friends or something.

[WildChild]

We should get your guy and the LOML together and my most recent ex husband and my next door neighbor and...

Forget the Elks and Masons and all those groups if someone started a men-who-can't-get-over-being-screwed-over club, it could be HUGE. My first husband had affairs, a guy I lived with had affairs, gave me clymidia and employed the services of a 5 yr old once, I caught another guy I dated for two years screwing around, my ex went on and on about his ex's affair and all the women he had dated or wanted to date who had either said no or dumped him, for me that's just the tip of the ice berg in terms of things men have done to me (there are some much worse things, I'm leaving out the abusors) but I'm willing to take a chance because I know if I don't open up to the possibility of being hurt, I close the door to the possibility of really loving and being loved. And flat out I believe that is what out life experience is about - spiritual beings having a physical experience. Unfortunately most beings don't do a very good job it. It requires taking some emotional risks.

I've been talking to men I'm aquainted with about this lately because I'm trying to get a handle on it. It's funny, some of them fall into this group themselves but are really bothered at what they've seen happening in my situation. Some of them admit to having shut down and acting the same way. It weird, with some of the work I do, I've lost thumb nails, toe nails, shaved off the tip of a finger (you can't tell now) I'm missing a little chunk of thumb right now, anyone who does this type of work gets injured. Do we stop swinging a hammer or using saws? No, just pay more attention and be more careful. If every guy who scraped a knee or took a fall while riding a bike, gave it up and spent the rest of his life talking about how bad bikes are, bicycling would be a woman's activity and there wouldn't even be motorcycles. If everytime they had a car wreck they gave up driving for life, there would nice empty roads. Why is it that an emotional wreck or two just destroys them? Bunch of emotional wimps and we keep loving them.

That's todays rant!

[Texinator]

That's a good analogy!

[Guest]

...

It requires taking some emotional risks.

Some of them admit to having shut down and acting the same way. It weird, with some of the work I do, I've lost thumb nails, toe nails, shaved off the tip of a finger (you can't tell now) I'm missing a little chunk of thumb right now, anyone who does this type of work gets injured. Do we stop swinging a hammer or using saws? No, just pay more attention and be more careful. If every guy who scraped a knee or took a fall while riding a bike, gave it up and spent the rest of his life talking about how bad bikes are, bicycling would be a woman's activity and there wouldn't even be motorcycles. If everytime they had a car wreck they gave up driving for life, there would nice empty roads. Why is it that an emotional wreck or two just destroys them? Bunch of emotional wimps and we keep loving them.

That's todays rant!

for some reason its easier to deal with the physical injuries than the emotional ones. i've had a bunch of cuts, scrapes, and a bit of surgery to fix things. but none of it compares with the damage done when someone you trust isnt there when you need them, lets you down, or cheats on you.

it just hurts a lot more, and thats why many of us shut down, turn inward, and put up a brick wall. especially when someone gets past your defences, tells you they are for real, and then is nowhere to be found when you really just need to hear their voice to help you get through a hard thing. have that happen enough and you just want to shut everyone out for good.

i know I often feel that way.

[WildChild]

for some reason its easier to deal with the physical injuries than the emotional ones. i've had a bunch of cuts, scrapes, and a bit of surgery to fix things. but none of it compares with the damage done when someone you trust isnt there when you need them, lets you down, or cheats on you.

it just hurts a lot more, and thats why many of us shut down, turn inward, and put up a brick wall. especially when someone gets past your defences, tells you they are for real, and then is nowhere to be found when you really just need to hear their voice to help you get through a hard thing. have that happen enough and you just want to shut everyone out for good.

i know I often feel that way.

Well I've pretty much had nothing but hurt from men but I'm willing to try, to be open and to take the risk. All I've gotten is pretty much, "you're great, you're wonderful, but now that I've drawn you close, I'm going to shut you out and have a pity myself party for the rest of my life." One man or two and you can write it off, but over and over and I think I'll just take my sexy self off and bury it.

[happy ending]

well i'm with you wild child, now i know why you see to understand me so well, you ARE me! i feel a bit better today, yesterday i cried all day, i went to see him late last night (i know, i know) he was in bed and tried to get me in there with him, as the sex is terrific he thought he would be a get out of jail card. but he told me, he didnt love me when i was like this (??) he only loved me when i was good! wow - what a wake up! if i didnt think i made the right decision before i know now.

WC you cant bury yourself, we need as many wonderful, gorgeous, giving woman out there as possible!