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  • Labyrinth
    Member
    • Dec 2009
    • 36

    Where did I go wrong? What should I do now?

    I am in serious need of some advice, so I turn to you ladies and gents, my trusted friends!

    I've liked the same guy for this entire school year.
    A little over a month ago, I asked him out, and he told me that he likes me but isn't ready for a relationship. For me that meant 2 things...

    Number one: He still likes his ex, who dumped him about a month prior to that. (They've always been on and off)
    Number two: He doesn't like me enough to move on

    I was broken- but because he told me he did like me more than as a friend, I thought there was hope.

    So I waited. And over a month later (now), I've come to the conclusion that despite the fact that I felt a serious spark between us... nothing was going to happen. So I became a little more distant, and tried to move on.

    Then because of that (I think) he came around a little-- touching my arm whenever we passed, giving me a hug from behind and showing little signs that he does like me. However it only lasted a couple of days. I didn't understand why he stopped, but it may have been because I didn't know what to do, so I remained neutral to his signals.

    I thought that if I fell for him again immediately I would seem desperate and overly eager- especially because I've already asked him out before.

    So now that he's stopped, I am worried. I've worked to hard to play my cards right and try to have a relationship with him. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and would really really appreciate some advice or even counseling from you all.

    Thank you so, so much.
  • Mes T
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 2678

    You're not doing anything wrong, he just doesn't want a relationship with you. We can make guesses as to why... But ultimately it is what it is, and I think you should find someone else.

    I applaud you for taking the initiative and asking a guy out first, I hope you don't lose that!

    Comment

    • Yvee
      Senior Member
      • Apr 2010
      • 141

      I agree with Mes_T...
      He doesn't want to be with you.
      I don't think you should get overly emotionally worked up about him, I'm sure things will blow over and there'll be someone else.

      Good luck!

      Comment

      • Joey
        Veteran Member
        • Feb 2010
        • 478

        I too agree with Mes and Yvee.

        i was in the same situation when i was at school. I really liked this guy and he really liked me - and as with your situation, he had only recently come out of a relationship. He had told me he liked me but wasnt ready for anything, but then several days later he was being overally flirty and huggy and then several more days later it just stopped. Obviously its heartbreaking, because you initially think that something is going to happen - and then it doesnt.

        I asked him about it and he told me that he still had big feelings for his ex - and altho he liked me a lot, the relationship he had with his ex was still in his head.

        Comment

        • Labyrinth
          Member
          • Dec 2009
          • 36

          Thank you so much for your advice Mes_T, Yvee, and especially you Joey.
          I'm glad that you shared your experience with me.

          I -did- think that something was going to happen, but now I guess it's pretty obvious that it hasn't/will not. I suppose that it was just terrible timing-- and I honestly don't think that his ex deserved him at all.

          If anybody else has anything that they would like to share still, I'd really love to hear it!

          Comment

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