[Ecco]

I'm 60, he's 65. We've been good friends forever but we've both been workaholics. It's always been 'there' for us yet never enacted upon. I have no doubts at all about his integrity and truthfulness.

We can do this. He has to move into the hunter mode because time is short for us now. I dropped him a note last week saying that as much as I care for him, it would be too unrealistic for us to be friends unless he wants to pursue me. I told him that it hurts that we're not a real couple and that I have to disappear now.

I did NOT add 'to look for other men who wants a good woman'. I haven't contacted him or his friends and don't intend to. Of course, the silence is deafening.

Opinions? Your own experiences?

[Hopeless Dork]

I think, this way or that way, that you did the right thing for you. If he doesn't persue you guys becoming an actual couple -- pulling yourself from him is best that way you are open to find a man that does. If you wrap yourself up in a man that doesn't have the same relationship goal as you, you are likely missing other opportunites with men that want you want... because your tunnel vision see's only this guy.

By pulling away you are forcing him to step up or back down... either of which will get you what you want in the long run.

[WildChild]

Have you had a sexual relationship?
Best bet?

Men don't do hints.

You have to (at least figuratively) hit most of them over the head with a cast iron skillet, force them to look at you, tell them, maybe yell it and then follow up with written instructions. If you are lucky he might then get a glimmer of an idea that there is something you want from him and say, "What? Did you say something?"
At this point you can repeat it in simple words but don't be surprised if he decides that what you really want is for him to take out the trash and then watch TV.

[jns]

If you want him in the bedroom, grab him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom. At a younger age, guys know what they want and it is mostly sex. Some go for a stable home, some for a motherly woman, some for someone to have kids with. As mature adults, the question of what a woman wants becomes more complex for man. Does she want sex, money, warmth, to not feel alone, what?

You want him to go on the hunt for you. It will make you feel desirable. Is this what you really want, because if so, it may be over too fast as you move into a steady relationship. Is going on the hunt a strong trait that he has? Has he done it with other women? Does he like hunting too much? But not the part after the hunt?

[wednesdaymorning]

You definitely did the right thing for you, making a move. Perhaps you should have been clearer. I.E. including the bit about "to find other men..." But for the most part, this will cause him to pursue you or leave you be. As far as further contact, I mean, you could easily phone him with the proposition once more. "So did you make a decision?" And then there you have it, a definitive answer.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Good for you..

Too many men get complacent, enjoy the company, but also enjoy their bachelor lifestyle..

I tend to think at that age, though, having my father in law to be living with me that they can't handle being alone..

You've given him an option, make sure that this doesn't necessarily mean you want him to move in with you as this may not be something he is ready for...

The option should be clear, togetherness, in front of people, not just the comfort behind closed doors.

CW

[mr.mansview]

Have you had a sexual relationship?
Best bet?

Men don't do hints.

You have to (at least figuratively) hit most of them over the head with a cast iron skillet, force them to look at you, tell them, maybe yell it and then follow up with written instructions. If you are lucky he might then get a glimmer of an idea that there is something you want from him and say, "What? Did you say something?"
At this point you can repeat it in simple words but don't be surprised if he decides that what you really want is for him to take out the trash and then watch TV.

so WC, you were once a man, now reincarnated as a woman on a mission to expose our shortcomings to all women of the world..curse you,lol..that said, you pretty much hit it on the head since this man is 65 years old..

..unfortunately ecco, the silence is your answer