[liminal]

Does the idea that you are supposed to kiss a girl on the first date apply to somebody you met on an online dating site? I don't understand the whole first date kiss idea. It seems like a lot for somebody that you only just met.

I have to be honest that this idea of the first kiss on a date confuses me. Isn't the whole idea of dating somebody for the first time so that you can get to know somebody and see if you are compatible or if you like each other?

How is that idea of the purpose of a first date where you are just supposed to meet somebody compatible with the idea of kissing on a first date? How does a girl feel when a guy tries to kiss her and she doesn't want him to kiss her?

[lizzardb63]

There are a lot of people who feel the same as you and some have rules that they just simply DON'T kiss on the first date. Usually people kiss on the first date at the end of the night because it went well and they are feeling some strong feelings for the other person. Some people may do it just to see if they like how the other person kisses (some are picky about that before it gets any further). Others may just be looking for a pillow mate for the night.

If a guy tries to kiss you and you don't want to kiss him just turn your face and let him kiss your cheek. It's a nice way of saying "no thanks". Or... before it even gets that far, bring up how the other person feels about kissing on the first date and just share that you don't kiss on the first date. People are usually pretty understanding about it.

[liminal]

Another thing is at what point do you initiate sexual activity. I read somewhere that if you don't make a move on the second date that she will assume that you are a "nice guy" but not a very passionate person. The second date seems way to early for that, I think.

Maybe the website was talking about casual sexual relationships and not something more serious? I don't know. All this conflicting information confuses me.

[kygirl]

L,

I think you really have to feel out and situation. If you are both feeling connected and it feels right to kiss her, then kiss her. I've kissed on the first day sometimes and not till the third date sometime. Same with the sex... Anywhere from first date (usually knew the people prior to dating) all the way to 7th or 8th date. I think you really just have to see what feels comfortable for you. I think you can be flirty and let her know you are interested in more without feeling like you have to stick to some timeline. I do think if you don't feel like kissing her by the 3rd or 4th date, for me, I'd think maybe he wasnt' interested, but it depends on whether there is a good place/timing to do it.

Every relationship and every person is going to react differently and feel differently about things. I think you can tell if someone is "lingering" a few extra minutes at the goodnight in hopes of a kiss. There will never be a perfect formula

[liminal]

Do women expect men to want sex really badly?

[kygirl]

It might be advisable to get a book like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or something similar) to get some basic information on relationships. Keep in mind, however, that just like the kissing question, EVERY woman and EVERY man are different. It's really not 100% fair to try to make generalizations. Some women are more sexual than some men and vice versa

[liminal]

Wow that book seems really popular.

[AZ Guy]

Every relationship and every person is going to react differently and feel differently about things.

Very true. I get sick of the whole mentality of "you didn't kiss her yet; your relationship is doomed" or "you did 'what' already? you have no future" -- then again, I am single, so maybe there is something to be said for that. ha ha