[KaytiC]

Personally I see no problem with a man watching porn, why not spice it up a bit and watch it with him? Or even watch him "enjoy himself" now and then? It certainly can be a turn on at times. Besides, sometimes you can learn a few things watching and and come up with a few ideas to try for yourselves. You can find some amazing things to try if you are willing to look and be open minded. You might even discover a few kinks you didn't know you had.

If nothing else pleasuring yourself is completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of. As long as your man is still having sex with you there should be no anxieties over him just needing an extra release now and then. All you freaking over it is going to do is make him feel ashamed of himself and feel like he has to hide away from you. The more he feels he has to hide the less he will be willing to share in any situation. This could drive a serious wedge in your relationship and even end it.

Whatever you choose to do stick with it, being wishy washy is never a good thing.

[Kahlan]

I think the fact that he didn't deny what he was doing is a good sign, and he told you that he isn't going to do it anymore. When they completely deny it, or they prefer to watch porn/masturbate rather than have sex, red flag. My guy loves watching porn, and I don't have a problem with it. You say that you guys have sex regularly, so try not to worry too much.

Before my relationship became long distance, we also had sex regularly - it was great. But that doesn't mean that I stopped masturbating. It wasn't like he didn't satisfy me or that I'm super horny. I just see it as normal. Next time you catch him, ask him if he needs any help! : )

[Tiggs]

I used to be the same as you.
It got to the point where i knew his usernames on various sites and i'd look and see just how often he was on.

But fact of the matter is, 2 years on and it hasn't affected our relationship.
Yeah he watches porn frequently, yeah he gets off on his own frequently.
But at the end of the day, I'd rather he was doing it with himself than with another girl.

He has a high sex drive; I do too but due to health issues, sometimes I just can't keep up with him. So I'm not gonna deny him his pleasure.

It used to bug me, make me feel insecure. Now i see it as a blessing at it's actually helped our sex life.

Sure we used to have sex every night but it was just regular, routine sex.
Now we have it a few times a week, not as much as before but it's a lot more varied.
After one particularly steamy session, I went to use his laptop and found a load of images that were similar to what we'd just done. If it hadn't been for the porn, I wouldn't have had one of the best sessions I've ever had

Try watching with your boyfriend, try sneaking up on him whilst he's watching and lending a helping hand. Or even take some tips from the types he's watching.

I was lucky in the sense that my bf wasn't interested in all these photoshopped barbie dolls and the girls he looks at are similar looking to me; never instantly think he's thinking of other woman or not attracted to you; he's probably fantasising it's you doing all these things to him

[imirritated]

Two very good points worth thinking about.


"Personally I see no problem with a man watching porn, why not spice it up a bit and watch it with him? Or even watch him "enjoy himself" now and then? It certainly can be a turn on at times. Besides, sometimes you can learn a few things watching and and come up with a few ideas to try for yourselves. You can find some amazing things to try if you are willing to look and be open minded. You might even discover a few kinks you didn't know you had.

If nothing else pleasuring yourself is completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of. As long as your man is still having sex with you there should be no anxieties over him just needing an extra release now and then. All you freaking over it is going to do is make him feel ashamed of himself and feel like he has to hide away from you. The more he feels he has to hide the less he will be willing to share in any situation. This could drive a serious wedge in your relationship and even end it.

Whatever you choose to do stick with it, being wishy washy is never a good thing. "


"I used to be the same as you.
It got to the point where i knew his usernames on various sites and i'd look and see just how often he was on.

But fact of the matter is, 2 years on and it hasn't affected our relationship.
Yeah he watches porn frequently, yeah he gets off on his own frequently.
But at the end of the day, I'd rather he was doing it with himself than with another girl.

He has a high sex drive; I do too but due to health issues, sometimes I just can't keep up with him. So I'm not gonna deny him his pleasure.

It used to bug me, make me feel insecure. Now i see it as a blessing at it's actually helped our sex life.

Sure we used to have sex every night but it was just regular, routine sex.
Now we have it a few times a week, not as much as before but it's a lot more varied.
After one particularly steamy session, I went to use his laptop and found a load of images that were similar to what we'd just done. If it hadn't been for the porn, I wouldn't have had one of the best sessions I've ever had

Try watching with your boyfriend, try sneaking up on him whilst he's watching and lending a helping hand. Or even take some tips from the types he's watching.

I was lucky in the sense that my bf wasn't interested in all these photoshopped barbie dolls and the girls he looks at are similar looking to me; never instantly think he's thinking of other woman or not attracted to you; he's probably fantasising it's you doing all these things to him "

[Laura22]

True, but porn isn't just bad for a couple, it is bad for society as a whole. Never tolerate it from a partner.

Thank you!

[Hopeless Dork]

I was lucky in the sense that my bf wasn't interested in all these photoshopped barbie dolls and the girls he looks at are similar looking to me; never instantly think he's thinking of other woman or not attracted to you; he's probably fantasising it's you doing all these things to him "

Not everyone is as lucky in their significant others porn preferences, and not everyone feels good about being a masturbatory device, something to facilitate the orgasm for the arousal they are getting watching some other woman. I find that pretty insulting. I'm not naive enough to think that a man won't occasionally (or frequently) have some woman pop into their mind during sex, or some scene they saw in a porn in the past... but actually pleasuring him while his eyes are on the tv rather than me and what I am doing to him would make me feel like a vibrator and not the person he loves.

Every woman is an individual and has their own feelings on this issue... what may be fine for some isn't for others. I've known women that prefer their man watch porn/masturbate because they have no interest in having sex as often as their partner wants... or at all in some cases... and that obviously would work for them. But if the tables are tilted and its the woman who craves intimacy more, having her s.o. spend his sexual energy alone and leaving her to fend for herself is so damaging to the relationship, both sexually and emotionally.

Some men watch porn for the sex scenes and imagine their partner in the role of the women, that is true. Some men look at photoshopped bombshells and masturbate over the woman herself, and I don't see how the latter would make sex with their own non-photoshopped partner better... in fact it can probably change their idea of what they are turned on by.. I don't think its healthy for even single guys to soley masturbate and focus their arousal on women that don't exsist in real life, they are I think... setting themselves up for dissapointment and lonliness.. as even the very women they are masturbating to can't live up to them images that are left after they've been airbrushed to perfection.

[stressed]

Imagine teenage girls and young adult women growing up watching porn with ridiculously large penises, tall, muscly men who can go on having sex for hours. Every day, or at least very often. Men who only care about giving pleasure. In the video. Who don't lose their erection, who make women reach multiple orgasms per minute, who are god-like robots.

Wouldn't these girls/young women expect 'real men' to behave like these guys in real life too? Wouldn't they be let down/disappointed at the first sign of ED? Wouldn't they rather watch porn than deal with a real man with his own issues, his own sense of feeling and giving pleasure? This is what happens with men who watch porn more often than daily news. They expect women to be like the ones in the videos. I'm not talking about men who occasionally watch porn, or those who watch it with their partner, or those who wan to try something new and look for new ideas, but those men who are obsessed with porn, who think that "that's how sex should be but no woman can do this, those girls on the video are just too good, they're too good even for me".

I've recently heard about a guy (friend of a friend) who's obsessed with porn, has a whole TB hard drive of porn, porn on his phone, here there, e-mails porn to his friends to watch and so on. But this guy is terrible with women, he behaves like an idiot around them, he treats them like they are objects when he talks to them and yet believes he's god-send, even if no woman wants to hang out with him. Just another example of a grown up man of 35+ years who lives with porn and his hand for company and blames women for turning him down. I'm "that" close to having a discussion with this guy and tell him "as long as you keep collecting porn, you'll be sending every woman you meet away". But I'm afraid it's too late for him to change now, so what's the point. I just feel sorry for the poor girl he might meet.

[Tiggs]

Some of you seem to missing a key point OP made;

her sex life ISNT affected by her partner watching porn ¬_¬

[jns]

Some of you seem to missing a key point OP made;

her sex life ISNT affected by her partner watching porn ¬_¬

But the rest of her life is, which is also a key point she made. Basically her partner didn't care how it affected her when he did it. Her reaction to it was strong and she associated it with him being in the shower. Taking a shower together over time will lessen her response to that stimulus and make it not threatening. He should have given her a chance to address his sexual stress or told her he needed to masturbate and found out what her reaction was. He later confirmed that he had been looking at porn.

[imirritated]

"I've recently heard about a guy (friend of a friend) who's obsessed with porn, has a whole TB hard drive of porn, porn on his phone, here there, e-mails porn to his friends to watch and so on. But this guy is terrible with women, he behaves like an idiot around them, he treats them like they are objects when he talks to them and yet believes he's god-send, even if no woman wants to hang out with him. Just another example of a grown up man of 35+ years who lives with porn and his hand for company and blames women for turning him down. I'm "that" close to having a discussion with this guy and tell him "as long as you keep collecting porn, you'll be sending every woman you meet away". But I'm afraid it's too late for him to change now, so what's the point. I just feel sorry for the poor girl he might meet. "


How did your friend of a friend find it on his phone?