[libragirl]

Last year I started dating what I thought was a wonderful man...don't we all think that in the beginning. Early in the relationship he had confessed that he wore woman's panties, all the time. He had been doing it since his teens and he is now 39. I found out later, months later by me probing, that he also wears lingerie under his clothes. He never wears outer woman's clothing. I also had a problem with his drinking. When we first met he would drink 4-5 beers, couple glasses of wine AND 3 whiskey and cokes a night. He had been doing that for 5 years. He finally cut down by me asking to just beer. He broke up with me multiple of times because I was nervous about his drinking. He never got drunk, but just consumed a lot. He also made promises over and over that he would not drink during the week but that promise never lasted. He would go right back to drinking every night. I found him looking at men's gay porn and knew he belonged to a website for men who wears woman's panties. On that site he made some sexual comments on some men's pictures. AND.....he told me he slept with a man many years ago but SWEARS he is straight or maybe just bi-curious. He also did not have a job for a year and when he finally did get one he would either quit or get fired. He has 2 children also to take care of so he applied for food stamps but would continue to drink atleast a 6 pack a night.
I have been heart broken since we finally broke up. CAN YOU PLEASE HELP. WAS I RIGHT TO GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP? He was also not always nice and very jealous and insecure. What do you think of his drinking??? and sexuality??
sometimes I feel like I did the wrong thing by leaving him. He did have SOME good qualities.
THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT!

[GettingStronger]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not... there's just too much crazy stuff... sorry if you are serious. Would I date a man like that? NO. Were you right to get out of it? Absolutely. I didn't see any good qualities mentioned, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he had some. There are plenty of guys who are not doing all of the things you mentioned you didn't like though, please let yourself go find one of them instead!

[Guest]

sometimes I feel like I did the wrong thing by leaving him. He did have SOME good qualities.

Though none were mentioned.... Many things were mentioned that were less than desirable - IMO

You did the right thing.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You are heart broken because you want a relationship, someone in your life.

You know the warning signs are right there at the beginning, called woman's intuition..If you choose to ignore it, and believe you can change someone, you are wrong and you have to question why you ignored it.

Back to the first statement....Don't settle, why settle? Doesn't matter if you are getting older, I am 47 and engaged to my soul mate, previously married to the Devil in descise

Point I am trying to make is you know that this person has real serious problems, off course he got drunk, only 5 years of drinking to that extent, his body is used to the consumption and so, he isn't swaying or becoming obnoxious...

He is basically un-employable, an alcoholic, and a dead beat dad, whom has a fetish and doesn't respect himself, therefore, can't respect another human being whom won't, can't assist financially ever in the future and whom doesn't take care of his children's future, therefore can't you, did you do the right thing? Don't settle...Look at yourself now, and realise that you need to make some changes in yourself, even to yourself, so that you love yourself and therefore, can find someone to love you instead of picking the worse crop of the litter.

CW

[orchiddreams]

Would I date a man like this? Absolutely not.
And don't second guess yourself.

[spurzzz]

"wears lingerie under his clothes"
"he would drink 4-5 beers, couple glasses of wine AND 3 whiskey and cokes a night"
"him looking at men's gay porn" ............. "he made some sexual comments on some men's pictures"......"he told me he slept with a man many years"
"when he finally did get a job he would either quit or get fired"
"He has 2 children also to take care of"

Is this a windup? I see a lot of threads like this and the poster never returns so it makes me dubious. Very sad that people go through the time to do this if this is indeed a windup.........get a job and do something constructive? Dear oh dear. But I shall answer just incase it is not.

What on earth makes you think this guy is a man? What definition of a man you have got is questionable.

His problems are there for everyone to see and you know fully well what they are. The question you need to ask yourself is what problems you have got? Why are you with this man still when he is clearly a Jerry Springer case?

Get your self-esteem up, work on your insecurities, don't let him drag you down into the dumps with him and get out....

[evilgothicjenn]

Oh my poor heart. Made it to about "gay men porn" and just had to stop. Never ever ever would I put myself through that stress!!! Alcoholics are bad enough. GTFO*of that...*!!!!

[drofdo]

Would I stay in such a relationship- not anymore. I was in a relationship for longer than I wish to admit with someone who drank excessively and let me tell you, it's not worth the stress or the upset.
As for the porn or the lingerie- that is a decision that each person has to make for themselves.
Could you or I be comfortable with it? - not really- but mabe someone else can.
Be happy with the decision that you made

[sonujung]

Your decision to leave him was the RIGHT DECISION!