[nubianqueen]

I've been seeing this guy for the past few months, who is very sweet and caring. Honestly, his qualities and characteristics meet a lot of what Im looking for.......the only problem is that there is just something in me that is telling me to wait and not rush into being with him exclusively. He always proclaims his undying "love" for me- if you will, we have had several intimate encounters since we started dating as well....

I am not really wanting to be in a relationship right now, I just wanna continue to date and meet other men. He says that I'm perfect for him, I make him happy, and wants to be committed to one another, exclusively. I've already told him that we possibly could with time, but I am not interested in a relationship right now. I dont know what else to do because he seems like he understands, but is almost trying to pressure me in a way....or press the issue, should I say, to be with him. I dont want to hurt him because he is really nice, but I dont wanna hurt myself either by rushing into something that I know deep down inside I'm not ready for. I kind of feel that the one who is truly for me may still be out there!! I also feel that the one for me may be right in front of me and I could be missing it!!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I was going to say that he hasn't touched your soul, caught your heart, you describe him as sweet, caring, honest things that women really want and he loves you.

But, I'm going to say, you also feel that you should settle, what if that man is not out there? You know the one that touched your soul, caught your heart?

If you believe that there is more he only ticks some boxes but there is more to what you are after, then this won't work anyway sweet...

Describe your dream man here, to us....

Then describe him fully, this guy.....including what you don't like...

Maybe then you'll see clearer.

CW

[fiestypunkgirl]

I am going through the same thing!!! wow I couldnt describe it better. what complicates mine is that there is an age difference of >5 yrs. *facepalm* I hope more advice rolls in, I could use it too

[Mes T]

Hon if he's not "the one" then don't fret over it - you don't have to keep seeing him just because HIS opinion is a bit different! Heck he might be telling EVERY girl he meets, "You are the one, you are so perfect for me"... Listen to your heart, don't "settle," it's the worst thing ever.

[Guest]

Listen to your gut, your heart and head will lie to you every time. Your gut never lies- Your heart has rose colored glasses and your head gets in the clouds. Go with your instinct, it never fails to tell the truth.
I hope you figure this problem out and I wish you all the best.
CW is spot on, she's a very wise woman and I'd take her advice anyday.

[nubianqueen]

Thanks for all your replies!! I used to get excited, but now, not so much anymore. I've already told him that i see him in the "friend zone" but he is dead set on changing my mind.

As CW suggested, the qualities i seek in a man are: caring, honest, affectionate, a Godly Christian man, has an idea of what he wants to do with the rest of his life. This guy fits a lot of those things its just that #1: he does not really have an idea of what he wants to do for the next 10 years (mind you this guy is 32!!). #2: he's caring, and affectionate, but he has the tendency to be too affectionate at inappropriate times (ie: PDA--- something Im just not comfortable with!)

You guys are right, I should follow my gut. my gut is telling me not to rush this because there very possibly could be someone out there who is better suited for me. I just dont know who or when it will happen!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ah remember sweetness age is but a number

I met my now fiancee of 17 months at the darling age of 46..

Funny, one of my priorites was, "he has to have passion in life and he has to know where he is going in life"...

Caring
Honest
Affectionate
Godly or at least moralistic is to me, very important keys, structure of what will be a good relationship but without a dream? Direction? Passions? That person just lives life.

You want to "live life with all it has to offer and be excited as you plan things"...

Too affectionate can sometimes drive you nuts, I think It's a tad clingy, whereas consistancy, a smile, a wink for no reason, is kind of cute and a kiss good morning and good night is a must...

Don't think because you are getting older that you have to settle for someone whom is not all that you feel will constitute a good relationship, which to me means the fire in the belly, the souls of two that become one, laughter and dreams shared to gether whilst still being independent.

[Guest]

Like a BandAid, better to rip it off fast rather than slowly take it off. The pain isn't as bad and stops the fastest.
It's best to do it in a public place rather than in private, he's going to beg and plead trying to get you to change your mind. Tell him that he just isn't for you, it's just not working out.
I hope this helps and good luck to you. Let us know how it goes please.