[greg22]

Hi, new here. A girl asked for my number on the weekend. We have been texting each other for a few days. She told me she is going in 4 days time to NYC for the Halloween weekend for a friends birthday party. I asked her if she wanted to have dinner before she left, but she said it would be better if we waited till she got back. We have a four day window before she leaves. I am thinking she wants to have sex in NYC without being in a relationship, since girls dress in sexy outfits and even in lingerie for Halloween. Any women have any info on this? I cant really say anything since we are not dating yet, so it doesnt bother me that much, if she does have sex I just hope she enjoys it and wears protection. Its the only reason I can think of not having a date before she leaves, thats a large 4 day window before she leaves.

[KMonte85]

Maybe she's just busy planning and preparing for her travels, greg. Just because a woman doesn't want to go on a date with you before she heads off on a trip, doesn't mean she's going to go have all kinds of sex while away. 4 days isn't a whole lot of time for busy women to get their plans in order, make sure things at home are taken care of, prepare for a friend's birthday, and find the proper halloween costume. Furthermore, skimpy Halloween costumes do not automatically mean a woman is out looking for sex... attention, yes. Sex, no.

[Little]

It doesn't sound like you respect this woman very much. You automatically expect that going on one date means that you will be in a relationship, and that the only reason she doesn't want to see you is so that she can have random sex. So what if she does? That's her prerogative; she hasn't even been on one date with you.
Maybe she's feeling sick and trying to rest up before her trip? Maybe she has her period? Maybe all her "nice" clothes are packed for the trip already? Maybe she has shopping to do? Maybe she has a big project at work or is working overtime to try to get extra spending money?
There are a million maybes that do not include her pushing you to the side so that she can have unattached sex before going to dinner with you (which obviously to you means that she is in a relationship with you, an idea which is kinda scary!) Get right with your ideas, they're way out in left field!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Oh Greg seriously?

I was asked out on a date with my "now" fiance and I said "no" I am leaving for Port Douglass for 5 days, that was 3 days before, he said, " I'll call you when you get back and ask you for a date"...He did, we are engaged 2 years later.

Why did I say no? Because, think about it, 1) I was nervous and 2) If the date turned out well? I wanted that second date real soon thereafter, not be away for 5 days thinking about him, the date, the next date, and not being able to totally enjoy my time away?

[kygirl]

I have to agree with everyone else. There are LOTS of reasons why she might want to wait. She needs to plan her trip, she may be busy with working, or if you two JUST recently started texting, she may have already had other plans and things on her calendar. I know I usually have my whole week booked pretty early in the week, and if I'm going out of town, I may have extra work, errands, etc.

It is a bit of a put off that you'd automatically assume that it's because she wants to have sex because honestly, in my opinion, even if you went on one date before she left, she'd still be free to have sex because one date does not (usually) a relationship make. I think you need to chill out and give the woman time to do what she needs to do. I mean, don't you have your own things going on as well??