[myMarli2]

Hello, I am a new poster and would like some feedback...

I am currently dating a lifelong bachelor, he is 53 and I am 8 years younger. I am divorced from a long term marriage... we have been seeing each other for about a year and live in our own separate residences.

At times I feel like I am dating the Peter Pan syndrome kinda guy. He still acts like he is a young man, with drinking buddies much younger than he is. His home is untidy and he has trouble completing projects around his home. he also drinks alot more than I am used to and I am not sure I can accept that in a boyfriend.

In the year I have known him, his fridge is void of any type of proper food. Ususally just beer and a jar of mayo or pickles. I have brought over groceries, but have stopped since he makes more income than I do, and I feel I shouldnt have to provide the basic nessessities for him.

But in the past few weeks I have really noticed how his hygiene is really not up to my standards and it is very troubling.... he hardly washes his hands and not even after using the bathroom.. plus very disturbing...I saw him pick his nose and eat it.. I dont kiss him anymore and he must be wondering why...

I dont have the heart to tell him what I saw, but I cant deal with his nasty habit... should I try to reform this middle age bachelor, or is he more work than I can handle..

[Darling]

It seems like he is set in his ways. I doubt there is any chance In reforming him. I would try and tell him your concerns, and hope for a change. But I wouldn't stay in an unhappy relationship.

[jns]

I doubt you can reform him. Sometimes there are reasons why a man is a lifelong bachelor at such an age.

[KMonte85]

Sometimes there are reasons why a man is a lifelong bachelor at such an age.

I was going to say exactly this, but JNS beat me to it

If you're going to put your time into a relationship, it shouldn't be spent mothering a fullgrown man. Especially one who you are currently so grossed out by that you won't even kiss him. At 53 years of age, he's very comfortable with his lifestyle and set in his ways, if he wasn't he would have changed by now (or at least in the time you've been seeing him).

It may just be time to cut your losses here and find a gentleman to date who is not perpetually stuck at age 14. Your boyfriend should be your equal, your partner... not a burden.