[Tim]

The subject line was my own way of explaining this study I thought this forum might enjoy.

A University of Texas study that was in Science Daily, December 13, 2011 reads as follows (I shortened it as much as I could via deletions and edited some of it for space):

"A woman's attractiveness determines a man's perception of her interest in him...Men either over-estimate or under-estimate a woman's interest. Based on "speed meetings," involving approximately 100 men, 100 women, each person rated the other for attractiveness and sexual interest. Men assumed women were more interested in them than they were, while women underestimated the man's desires. In conclusion, the more a man is attracted to a woman, the less likely she is to be interested. The take home message is that men have to leave their egos behind, and go for volume, moving on to the next woman once they detect disinterest from the woman." (END)

I can see loads of opinions on this. I personally, as a single guy, almost have no clue what to make of this. I don't know whether it's reinforcing the perceptions I have that certain women are or aren't interested in me (I have a weird combination of having a good deal of confidence coupled with embarrassing insecurities) or whether, as so often happens (guys will note this as being true), when my libido is non-existent and I could care less about having a woman in my life...they smile at me, touch, flirt and borderline seem to hit on me in droves. Sometimes one after another on a good day.

lol, but it's true.

I also have liked to date only exclusively, as my way of giving appreciation and respect to the other person. But I've been told recently by friends and family, that I should NOT do this...I should look out only for me, and date as many women as I can if I want to find a relationship.

And I *know* lots of women do this very thing, often because they HAVE a lot more options (I'm thinking of one lady specifically who just dates like mad...and *kinda* abuses it, in that she gets a LOT of free dinners, shows, etc).

Would love to hear from some of the guys here on this study and their own experiences. (Kinda silly to ask for in a women's forum... )

Would of course welcome female input as well. ...........Tim

[acerousme]

"speed meetings" being like speed dating? lol

Im not sure where I stand on that...its based on "speed meetings"...It takes more than 60 seconds for me to know if I am attracted to someone.

With dating...I was always exclusive, and my family told me the same thing."KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN! YOU'RE YOUNG" ...I tried, and couldnt do it. There were too many men clamoring for my attention, LOL. I couldnt take it (and there were only three men trying their hardest). I was getting frustrated with them all, and going out night after night after night became too much. And flowers die after a week of having them. If the man is interested in me, he will go with the less obvious ways to get my attention. Dinner and a movie are nice, yes. But offer to come and help me write up Out-inspections and you're in the lead!

I really dont think this study is accurate, at all. As I stated before, I like to make an informed decision before judging anybody. Looks mean nothing to me, they're just a bonus. Sexual attraction is nice as well, but there have been a few exes of mine that I had no sexual attraction (or any attraction) to whatsoever until the second, or third date (The one guy was a hardcore nerd, and ended up spilling his butter chicken all over himself, and asked me if I knew the difference between butter chicken and chicken curry....).

I may have had options, but in the end...I didnt like having so many...OH GREAT...This just confirms I am an oddball

either way...Great Post Tim!!!!

[scottyboy]

I was always one of those guys amazed by the fact that ordinary everyday guys like me could ever be involved in a long term relationship with a beautiful woman. Men are immediately attracted to georgeous women, women like this can be very choosy. I met a beautiful woman 15 years ago who never gave me a second look, I never pursued her but over the course of a 12 month period she fell in love with me and I fell in love with her. I made her laugh, I cared about what she had to say, I did not stare at her boobs when we talked. She finally got me to kiss her and that was it, she was the woman for me and we have been together for 13 years now. I used to always ask myself "what's a woman like her doing with a man like me?" Much to my surprise she said she asked herself the same question only it was turned around "what was a guy like me doing with a woman like her?" I guess I always sold myself short, love is not about the shallow stuff. I also think that if we as men do not come off to women as no more than low life horn dogs interested only in one thing, then we might have a chance at a good long term relationship.

[LanaBear]

That's interesting and I think it happens the other way too though.

In regards to the OP, when your libido (as you say) is nonexistent, you are not putting out that 'screw me' vibe, which I think women tend to find more attractive. Plus, maybe it is more of a challenge, you are not showing interesting so, possibly, it is funner to chase you. Versus, then when maybe your libido is in high gear and maybe you either appear cocky or desperate, which to many is a huge turn off.

However, many may just be completely unperceptive. I don't notice ANYTHING, which my husband finds hilarious. We'll be walking around the store and he'll ask me if I just saw certain guys checking me out. Nope, zero, zilch, nada. I wouldn't notice someone looking at me if it hit me upside the head. I'm very unassuming.

[ItsASecret]

However, many may just be completely unperceptive. I don't notice ANYTHING, which my husband finds hilarious. We'll be walking around the store and he'll ask me if I just saw certain guys checking me out. Nope, zero, zilch, nada. I wouldn't notice someone looking at me if it hit me upside the head. I'm very unassuming.

Same thing with me. If my bf says "he just looked back at you" I will be like "who did?". I do not pay attention to any man that comes near me lol. If I am at school around my peers in class or working in the lab or something and a guy is chatting me up I am merely being nice and my smile is to be nice not because I have an interest in the guy. For a lot of women they will just be nice by giving that smile or laughing, it is an act of courtesy and nothing more in a lot of cases.