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Please Help!!!! I don't want to lose my friend!!!

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  • Please Help!!!! I don't want to lose my friend!!!

    Ok so I've been dating this girl for about 2 months. She's awesome, funny and caring. I really like spending time with her, but I don't have any romantic feelings towards her. I've solidified that she is not the right type of girl for me. I can tell she has feelings for me, and no doubt she wondering why we haven't moved on to the next phase. We haven't had sex. It usually takes a while for me to be intimate, so I thought the feelings just needed time to develop. But that's not the case. I feel terrible. I know that she is provably either blaming herself or her body which neither is the case. She is an attractive woman, its partly why I wanted to date her. I don't want to hurt her. How can I keep my friend?

  • I'd start by slowing down on the Dating or making it a group thing when dating. Introduce her as your Friend to others you run into .
    When alone, avoid Intimacy.. NO Kissing or Necking, brief Hugs Goodbye or Hello.
    Be Honest in your talks with her.. You can always start up a Convo on your Future Dreams. Things like...

    I'm going to or want to be " Fill in Blank " as a Career. Ask about her Dreams too.

    On to Relationships. " Someday, I may want to settle Down with a Girl have kids , but that's a long ways off, right now I'm just enjoying my Friends , Like you ".

    Be sure and put up her positive qualities, like you mentioned. Awesome, Funny Caring , Great looking and tell her some Very Lucky Guy will latch onto her and make her the Happiest girl in the world.

    Maybe, if one of your friends thinks she's Hot, you can mention him to her .
    Something like " Mike thinks you are Hot, you might give him a chance, he's a great guy ".
    This show's her you don't think of her as " Yours " and puts her in the " Friend Zone ".

    Doing this Now.. Will help stop any " Leading her On ". You seem caring yourself, so Care enough about your " Friend " to not make her hope and Wait and hang around for you and not get out there and find herself someone who want her the way you Don't want her .

    Slowly distance yourself back to the "Before Phase" of just the Casual Dating. This way she will not feel " Dumped ".. She will just know that you & her will be moving on and hopefully still keeping the " Friendship " you have built up so far .

    If you ask her out again, make sure you use the words " hey Howabout a Friend Date " or " Got these tickets or have an invite to bring my Girlfriend, since I don't have one and not planning on getting involved that way for a long time, I asked if I could bring my Truly Awesome Friend to it
    So ya wanna come and meet some new people " ?

    Again , you are not Dumping her or Playing her on, you are still including her in your life, just placing her in the " Friend Zone ".


    • dawnkissedmoon, I think it is great that you were able to determine this early on in the dating process, and I think the sooner you express your true feelings the better. Not all break ups result in friendships though, and that is a fact of life. Communicate your thoughts kindly, thoroughly, and see where she takes it from there. We cannot always expect our exes to be our friends, and I don't think we should specifically plan for it either. Just have a talk and see where it takes you.


      • Dawnkissedmoon it will be better if you inform your feeling to her as soon as possible since your relation with her is not too old, it is just 2 months old and if you make delay in expressing your feeling it will create problem for both of you. If you express your feeling right now it will help you in maintaining friendship with her too.


        • I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend of 4 years it's so hard for me but I feel like he is more of a friend. I don't feel any spark between us anymore, in a long time actually. I don't want to lose his friendship or break his heart but I don't know what else to do. I know teling him will be a blow to the stomach.




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