My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and three months. We're very much in love, we communicate well with each other, but for some reason, we're always fighting. It's always something little and pointless, too. Last night, for example. I was at my friend's house, and her boyfriend called, so I thought I'd call mine. He got upset because I was talking to my friend for a second, and he just said "Oh, if you're so busy, I can talk to you later." He always gets distracted when we're on the phone.
I don't know when it started, or why it's even happening. I have a bad temper, and I yell when things make me angry, but I never hit him. He's been fighting depression for years now and has multiple personalities; sometimes, we'll be in a fight, but because he switched to one of his alters/back to himself, he won't remember it. I kid you not, I've tried everything I can possibly think of to help him out with his problems and stop all our fighting. I've spent nights researching, I've called suicide hotlines, I've checked out library books, I've talked to people I can trust about this, everything.
It's been getting worse, too. I start a lot of the fights, maybe because I'm so drained since our relationship is going downhill and I can't cure his depression, but that's no excuse. It's not always my fault, though. It can't be. I've told him countless times, "If you're unhappy and you can't handle this anymore, we can break up; I want you to be happy." And it's true. It would kill me if we broke up, but I want what's best for him because I care about him. He doesn't want it to end, though. Neither of us do. All we want is to work this out somehow because we want a long, happy life together. We talk about our future together all the time, and it makes us both so happy. We have fun together, and we're always there for each other, and despite the fighting, our relationship is ideal.
We're only 16 years old, too. Why can't we have a happy, care-free relationship? Why does nothing always have to turn into something? I don't understand. I don't want anyone to tell me that because we're not even adults yet, we don't know what love is, or that we should just break up if all we do is fight; that's not why I'm here. We don't want to break up. We've come close, but we aren't quitters. We really do care about each other and whatever is causing us to fight isn't worth living without each other.
To make it even better, he's out of state for most of the summer. I've heard the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.", and I know it does because it was like this last summer, too. Waiting for him to come home was worth it because we were both so happy when we finally saw each other again. It's different than last summer, though, because he's been with family and we haven't been able to talk on the phone as much. I understand completely because the whole point of his being gone is to be with family, and I want him to have a life and enjoy being with other people. I just wish it was more balanced because when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to make time for them, too. We were actually able to have conversations, and he wrote me cute little love letters. Now, whenever we talk, it turns into a fight. Now that I think of it, the fighting started last summer, but it was milder and no where near as bad as it is now.
Should we only talk once every one or two weeks? I feel like if we don't talk, it will be better in the sense that we won't be able to fight. But I also feel like it's going to cause us to drift apart and destroy how well our communication is. What I told him tonight on the phone is because we've been fighting so much, we shouldn't talk on the phone for a while, but I'm not sure for how long. Should we not talk on Facebook either? I'm sure there's a lot more to it than what I've written so far, but it's hard to get every little detail out. All I know is we're both unhappy and have been for a while, but at the same time, we're so much in love and never want to be without each other. What can we do to stop this? I appreciate what you guys have to say, and it means a lot that you're even reading this. It probably sounds all teenagery and ridiculous, but I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know when it started, or why it's even happening. I have a bad temper, and I yell when things make me angry, but I never hit him. He's been fighting depression for years now and has multiple personalities; sometimes, we'll be in a fight, but because he switched to one of his alters/back to himself, he won't remember it. I kid you not, I've tried everything I can possibly think of to help him out with his problems and stop all our fighting. I've spent nights researching, I've called suicide hotlines, I've checked out library books, I've talked to people I can trust about this, everything.
It's been getting worse, too. I start a lot of the fights, maybe because I'm so drained since our relationship is going downhill and I can't cure his depression, but that's no excuse. It's not always my fault, though. It can't be. I've told him countless times, "If you're unhappy and you can't handle this anymore, we can break up; I want you to be happy." And it's true. It would kill me if we broke up, but I want what's best for him because I care about him. He doesn't want it to end, though. Neither of us do. All we want is to work this out somehow because we want a long, happy life together. We talk about our future together all the time, and it makes us both so happy. We have fun together, and we're always there for each other, and despite the fighting, our relationship is ideal.
We're only 16 years old, too. Why can't we have a happy, care-free relationship? Why does nothing always have to turn into something? I don't understand. I don't want anyone to tell me that because we're not even adults yet, we don't know what love is, or that we should just break up if all we do is fight; that's not why I'm here. We don't want to break up. We've come close, but we aren't quitters. We really do care about each other and whatever is causing us to fight isn't worth living without each other.
To make it even better, he's out of state for most of the summer. I've heard the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.", and I know it does because it was like this last summer, too. Waiting for him to come home was worth it because we were both so happy when we finally saw each other again. It's different than last summer, though, because he's been with family and we haven't been able to talk on the phone as much. I understand completely because the whole point of his being gone is to be with family, and I want him to have a life and enjoy being with other people. I just wish it was more balanced because when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to make time for them, too. We were actually able to have conversations, and he wrote me cute little love letters. Now, whenever we talk, it turns into a fight. Now that I think of it, the fighting started last summer, but it was milder and no where near as bad as it is now.
Should we only talk once every one or two weeks? I feel like if we don't talk, it will be better in the sense that we won't be able to fight. But I also feel like it's going to cause us to drift apart and destroy how well our communication is. What I told him tonight on the phone is because we've been fighting so much, we shouldn't talk on the phone for a while, but I'm not sure for how long. Should we not talk on Facebook either? I'm sure there's a lot more to it than what I've written so far, but it's hard to get every little detail out. All I know is we're both unhappy and have been for a while, but at the same time, we're so much in love and never want to be without each other. What can we do to stop this? I appreciate what you guys have to say, and it means a lot that you're even reading this. It probably sounds all teenagery and ridiculous, but I don't know what to do anymore.
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