[kellystar]

i am 34 and he's 36. we've been together for a year and a half and recently moved in together for the past 2 months. in the beginning we used to do it all the time few times a day. then of course it dwindled. but now it' s worst than ever. maybe once a week and that is after doing all the begging on my part. recently we had a talk about it and he said he was turned off by me asking all the time. and that he can't keep up with me. and that sex is a lot of work for him.
however recently we went on a vacation and we had sex almost everyday; and he was the one to initiate it; so what's up with that? how come now it's different; but he doesn't see it. plus the fact that he changed so much is scary. i know he likes to jerk off a lot; he's addicted to porn; so i think he'd rather do that than have sex with me. but that didn't affect us before; but i think now that we live together it's getting worst. i just don't know what to do anymore. i can't imagine how it will be years from now; so i wonder is it worth it?

few things about him; he drinks and smokes. but he's been since i met him and it didn't seem to matter before. i know he's a sexual person because we used to do it all the time few times back to back even. now he gets upset when i come near him to try to initiate sex; it makes me feel rejected and self conscious. and i am starting to resent him for it.

[Element]

You have to talk to him, hun. Tell him what you are seeing and how it makes you feel. Don't accuse, just tell him that this is what you are perceiving and you would like to talk to him about it because you aren't happy with how things are now. Ask him if he's wanting to spice things up and doesn't know how to ask you. What kind of porn is he watching? Maybe he's into something that he doesn't have the guts to talk to you about.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

If he used to watch porn all the time, still does, masterbates and now you are living together, he may feel you are in his "space" and he isn't able to do it as much as he did. When you were on vacation, there was no opportunity and so, sex was his only method of release more than likely.

I think he at his age, has been more of a Batchelor yes? And, the living together arrangements takes alot of time to get used to if you are not used to it.

But, it bothers me that he may feel you are "in the way" of the lifestyle he preferred, sexually.

You feel that he is/was as sexual as you but lust gets in the way of the truth with that, maybe he isn't as sexual as you, prefers the quick 5 minute method of himself, instead of the lengthy method of intimacy and having to work.

Does he work for a living? Why is he drinking all the time? He doesn't sound as if he is happy in life full stop, nothing to do with you there.. You drink excessively for a reason, to try to cheer yourself up, but off course it only brings you down.