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Women with some experience only please.

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  • Women with some experience only please.

    Me an my bf have been dating over a year now. We're both 23. We're not having sex 'cause we're waiting for marriage which we are planning on Well not having sex, we do make out and etc a lot (no complaints there! lol ) But as of recent, he's asked for a HJ..I'm totally new to this and it may sound very silly but...what on earth do I do? I'm quite honestly nervous about the whole thing in a odd way and I don't want to do this and he not enjoy it..I really do want him to be happy with it. Past experiences and advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.

  • I may be lambasted for this, but this is the best advice I can give you, though I'm a man and you expressly asked for a woman's advice.

    Firstly, don't feel guilty, there is nothing 'wrong' with doing this or waiting, got it? Good, let us proceed...

    Secondly, you can bet dollars for doughnuts the next thing he'll ask for is BJ. He's a man with a functioning libido, this isn't his fault either. The easiest thing to do is go to a website like pornhub and search categories and simply watch a few hand job videos, simple. I 'cough' hear the videos on there are quite good and the girls know exactly what they're doing. Lubricating your hand with moisturizer will make it better for him also.

    Thirdly, if you (when you feel ready) decide to ask him to return the favor, remember you're perfectly in the right to do so and need not feel guilty.
    "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

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    • The easiest thing you can do is ask him questions, what he likes, how is is liking something at the time. Tell him you just want to have a learning night so you can figure the stuff out. I am sure he will appreciate that, and because there is no pressure of sex you can honestly take your time and ask as many questions as you can.

      Porn is not exactly a good idea though because you must remember everything that actress does, who is nothing but an actress, is a paid act. They are paid to smile, paid to moan, paid to move a certain way, paid to look a certain way. Porn can also get quite viscous in intensity which should not be assumed to be the way things are done or liked by all men. Everything in porn is fake and by no means genuine. What is genuine is you asking your bf if he likes what you are doing, or if you should move your hand a different way, or maybe what speeds he likes.
      There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by EveryonesSister View Post
        Me an my bf have been dating over a year now. We're both 23. We're not having sex 'cause we're waiting for marriage which we are planning on Well not having sex, we do make out and etc a lot (no complaints there! lol ) But as of recent, he's asked for a HJ..I'm totally new to this and it may sound very silly but...what on earth do I do? I'm quite honestly nervous about the whole thing in a odd way and I don't want to do this and he not enjoy it..I really do want him to be happy with it. Past experiences and advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
        May I ask how long off is the wedding? This is going to raise the heat of the sexual side of your relationship. Is this a step that was planned or is it just something out of the blue? If a wedding is a long time off, how are you going to keep the fires in check so they don't get out of hand before the wedding? That is not to say sex is a bad thing, indeed it is a beautiful thing. But it is easy for thing to progress very rapidly. And your thinking or his may change drastically as you tease yourselves closer to a full sexual relationship.

        That being said, do you masturbate and have you ever had an orgasm? Are you against him using his hands gently to get you excited? This would be a good time to place reciprocity in the relationship. The HJ is much about you getting him off. He should learn from the start that he has to do the same for you. You don't want to get down the road away and find out he is sexually selfish. It is a good time to find out now.

        As for the HJ, have him use your hand to apply the right pressure at the right places to get him off. Ask questions and have him give you feedback. Have him explain what needs to be done. Don't use a death grip. The first few times may be awkward, but it should get better in a short time.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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        • Originally posted by ItsASecret View Post
          The easiest thing you can do is ask him questions, what he likes, how is is liking something at the time. Tell him you just want to have a learning night so you can figure the stuff out. I am sure he will appreciate that, and because there is no pressure of sex you can honestly take your time and ask as many questions as you can.

          Porn is not exactly a good idea though because you must remember everything that actress does, who is nothing but an actress, is a paid act. They are paid to smile, paid to moan, paid to move a certain way, paid to look a certain way. Porn can also get quite viscous in intensity which should not be assumed to be the way things are done or liked by all men. Everything in porn is fake and by no means genuine. What is genuine is you asking your bf if he likes what you are doing, or if you should move your hand a different way, or maybe what speeds he likes.
          This ^
          I just remembered exactly how aggressive some porn HJ's can get, not all, but some. This made me realize I only watch the one's which I personally like and we all have different like and dislikes.

          Whether or not he is circumcised can make a difference too. Listen to the noises he makes and respond to them, he'll let you know when you're doing something he likes. Communication is key, he'll most likely be forthcoming with telling what he likes and would like you to do.
          "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

          Comment


          • Thank you all very much for your replies and help

            The wedding is a definite, we haven't set a date yet because there is too much going on at this point and time.

            At the same time he asked for the HJ he was wanting to do for me as well, it isn't one sided at all so I have nothing to worry about there
            Im very stubborn but then so is he lol so Ive made it very clear that the No sex before marriage rule an not and will not be broken. Because if the unthinkable were to happen, I don't want to have to tell my husband I didn't want to wait.

            This may sound funny if not impossible but in full blown honesty, I really never have seen porn before in my life. Besides maybe a random pop-up photo, that's all my eyes have beheld. My boyfriend knows it an he kinda chuckles cause he does watch it from time to time but not very often.

            I don't want him to be unhappy with me, period and because he has had sex before and naturally can't just stop everything at the drop of a hat, so I'm very understanding of the porn and don't mind it at all. When he first learned I was a virgin, which was before we were dating..his mouth hit the floor and his eyes went wide, but after I explained he was totally fine with it but...he's a guy..and well he gets turned on and likes some attention lol and I really dont mind the attention he gives me one bit but this isn't constant. We go out, hang with friends, do fun things together, do absolutely nothing an just walk, have long talks, vent..we don't turn up any teasing and etc all the time, it's just from time to time so Im not worried about anything getting out of hand, it's very much controlled.

            I just want to know what Im doing. thats all.

            Thanks again for the help

            Comment


            • I would agree with asking him what he wants. Communication needs to be open.

              But I also agree with buddhaboy on the porn, BUT, maybe watch it with him if it isn't too awkward for you but then he can find a HJ vid that turns him on. Obviously he knows of your inexperience and may actually be very turned on by the fact that you and him are watching it together and you are "learning" from it.

              Just my .02.

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              • Good for you, our values are what define us, kudos to you for sticking to yours.
                "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

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                • Just wanted to say thanks to y'all being a big help, He was a happy guy today lol

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                  • Originally posted by EveryonesSister View Post
                    Just wanted to say thanks to y'all being a big help, He was a happy guy today lol
                    I LOL'ed when I read that!
                    "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

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                    • tee hee I was smirkin when I wrote that

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