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Would women be turned off by my lack of experience?

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  • Would women be turned off by my lack of experience?

    I'm nearly 23, I'm still a virgin, I've never had a girlfriend and I've never even been on a date. I've only ever kissed a few girls and made out with one, this only happened because there was much alcohol on both sides.

    As a teenager - the years when most people were dating and losing their virginity - I was very very shy and went through a period (ages 17-19) of struggle with social anxiety, mild depression, having no friends and intense loneliness.

    I've turned my life around a lot since, but I still haven't overcome my inability to get a girlfriend and form a loving and lasting relationship. I'm terrified that any woman I do start seeing will realise my complete inexperience without me having to tell her as I don't think I'll know what to do! Also, I'm incredibly anxious about having for the first time; she'll almost certainly not be a virgin and she'll think I'm terrible in bed

    What I want to ask is this: would women be turned off by my complete inexperience? Should I tell any girl I start seeing about it pretty early on?

    Thanks a million to everyone who took the time to took the time to help me by answering this

  • There have been lots of previous threads on this topic. Search in the Sex section and you will find lots of advise. To summarize what has been said before: Some women will be turned off, some won't care and some will be turned on by it. You can tell the woman or not, doesn't matter. The first time with anybody is awkard and takes time to get used to. Read some books to teach yourself. Always ask a woman what she wants.

    Experience doesn't always equal to good sex. There are plenty of men with tons of experience that are horrible. As long as you do some reading up and ask a woman what she wants, you will be fine.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)


    • im actually in the same boat i've had very little experience and i felt it has been the cause of seperating ways with some. But if you don't start you'll never improve but i just wanted to say i know how you feel cause im going through the same thing too but i'm 26.


      • I wouldn't be turned off. 23 is still young to me, and not everyone gets to do as they please once they hit their early 20's. There are women that are also inexperienced, or experienced women that are very anxious (like myself).
        "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"


        • Go for it. Tell her you are a virgin, but don't obsess about it. Listen to what she says she likes. Let her guide you in for intercourse.
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


          • Aww! I wouldent be worried, you should start seeing a girl that you really like, and who really likes you back. If you decide on a time when you want to have sex with this girl, then be straight with her. Tell her you're embarassed and you've never done it before, any (nice) girl should understand! But if it was me i would not be botherd, everyone has a first time! Dont be embarrased!!!!


            • Thanks for sharing this with us ShakerMaker. As a woman, I think this is not a problem. You should just try to go with the flow. There are some women that like to lead things, I guess they will help you out .
              Make your first tie special


              • I think your future girlfriend will be delighted to take your virginity
                No need to tell her about your lack of experience early on, it'll just come natural and she'll surely help you out.



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