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I cheated on my ex and now HE wants to be my friend!!!!!

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  • I cheated on my ex and now HE wants to be my friend!!!!!

    Hi, I am a 22 year old female and I am in need of some relationship advise. I once dated this boy for 3.5 years and we were having rough times. Towards the end of the relationship I met another boy (i will refer to him as D) and truly fell in love with him. I loved him with all my heart but he didnt seem like he wanted me for a long term. At that point I was confused, I was in love and I was suspicious and I was getting too attached to him. I was afraid he might hurt me. At that point my ex would be very nice to me and I knew he wanted to keep me for the long run for sure. So I cheated on my bf (D) with my ex. I know what I did was a wrong thing. My bf (D) started to pull away and I was losing him and on the other hand I was cheating on him. He then told me that his parents want him to get married to someone and as a result we could not be together. I was actually heart broken but made it seem like it didnt matter. I went straight back to my ex and we started dating again. I didnt hear from him (D) until 5 months later. He msged but I was still mad at him but on his bday I wished him happy bday and we started talking and even met up on his bday. Then I went to his (D) room one day and we made out. He was the one who initiated but we both continued it. I was angry that he made out with me when I wasnt even his girlfriend so the next time he messaged I got mad and yelled at him and told him not to talk to me. A week later he (D) msged but he claimed to have texted the wrong person, at that time we apologized and the conflict was over. We started texting once in a while again. Later on I met another guy (refer to him as J) and we started talking. I told my ex (D) about my new boyfriend. He said that my new boyfriend didnt look like he would date me but would only use me for short term. When I said okay I wont date (J), (D) convinced me to go. I met (J) and liked him and now I am dating him. D once again msged and asked how was my relationship was going, I told him it was good but D said that my new relationship would fall apart. He also told me I shouldnt go alone with (J) to a Montreal trip we both planned. I got mad and yelled at him and in the process found out that the real reason D broke up with me was because he found intimate pics of me and my ex on my cell phone. I felt really guilty and once again told him not to message. He agreed but then at night D messaged and told me to not go to Montreal with J even after I for the 2nd time said dont talk to me ever again. At this point I broke down and called him (D) and I apolgized to him. I sincerely did say sorry but he was very polite about it. He did not even say anything to hurt my feelings and was very kind. The next day he texted me asking if I cancelled my Montreal trip. We texted and he told him some of his personal problems such as how he needs to send money to his parents. He did not even ask me for money and when I offered he refused. We continued to text a bit more. Now my question is, why is he talking to me? I am after all the girl who cheated on him! If he wanted a friend I am pretty sure he can make them but why talk to me even after I keep saying dont talk to me? Do you think he wants me back? Even then, why would he want the girl who cheated on him back? I am really confused. Also I know what I did was wrong, cheating on him, but I was in a very difficult situation, how can I forgive myself?

    I also want to add that since my ex (D) keeps messaging me and wanting to talk to me. I also found no harm in responding back to his messages. They are are just neutral in feelings. Then one day while I was in his area, he asked if I could buy him beer. I did so and gave it to him, he then insisted on going for coffee and talking. Even then he would just keep talking about my relationship and the possibility of it going bad. He then told me he is telling me all this and says that he cares for me and doesnt want me to get hurt. He also mentioned that he knew our relationship was over and that I wanted to break up with him and as a result he did. Even after this he texts me, and I text him. He claims to not text others as much. We used to always text like this when we were together asking about each others day and that is what we are doing now. I really want to know if he wants to get back with me or not but I cant ask him this. How can I find out? Please help me.

  • It might just be my age, being as I'm in my late 50's. But this sounds like High School Drama, or even Junior High Drama.

    I'm not trying to be insulting, but where is the self Respect, respect for others and the Mature Decision making ?
    It's time you make a decision and stop the Game Playing. The decision should be that you leave Both " boys " and take some time to work on yourself , Strengthen yourself, find out what you want in a relationship. Everyone makes mistakes, the maturity comes from realizing them and Changing so they don't make them again .

    You are already admitting you cheated and feel bad about it , put that in your past and don't do it again . Both D & J deserve better than to be played and you deserve better than to be Played by them or any other Boy !!

    At 22, I'm sure you are a Beautiful Young Woman, it's time you act like one, Become that Woman who can be Proud of herself, of her Choices . Hopefully , soon you won't have to ask why a Guy wants you after you Cheat on him or why or if he wants you back .

    Hopefully you will want and Meet a Guy and have him Want you for the Mature, Honest, Loving Woman that you can be.
    Again , I'm not trying to insult you, I'm advising you to look at what you want, do some soul searching and get out of the rut of Ex's and why they want you, or you them or why you don't feel you or they deserve an honest and loving,long term Relationship. Work on getting yourself to the point where you will never have to Ask about Infidelity, on your side or the man you Love . You will know that both will be Faithful.

    Wishing you the Best


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    • Just because you cheated on him doesn't mean he didn't love you & didn't want to ne with you. He let you go because he saw those pics & even said he knew you wanted to I've done this assuming thing before. You both need to put embarrassment,different issue & problems aside and JUST be open and honest with your selves and each other. From what I see even though u cheating probably hurt him and so did u moving on. He STILL want to be with you and have u in his life. Be honest with yourself and him. And see what happens.
      -

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