[Advice101]

Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. I love him to death but he does weird things and just treats me like im retarded..
He has done such mean things to me, like going out with his bestfriend whose a girl for hours without any contact when we get into fights, he hits on other girls when were at parties and when were just out and about sometimes, and now im finding he is getting this girl we know to send him lingerie pics of herself because were going to a nice and naughty party and he wanted to see what she was gonna wear.. and she sent him a facking picture with her *** bare
im done with this.. he stays up all night playing video games and drinking beer and then when i go to work he doesnt have a reliable job, and then by the time i get home he is going to bed.. this is ridiculous.. its only been 2 years in our relationship i cant live like this all my life...

[Euphoric]

You have invested two years of your life in what seems to be a dead end relationship. You have listed several compelling reasons to end this relationship and move forward. I wonder how he would feel if you went out with a guy friend for hours? Hitting on other girls and having friends send him lingerie pics. shows a lack of respect for you and your feelings, at the very least. From what you say, he doesn't share the same amibitions as you do.

Chalk this up to a learning experience. If this is how you are being treated after only two years, I don't blame you for moving on. Good luck

[Advice101]

thanks very much. its evem harder to break up with him because we live together, and ive told him mutiple times if he doesnt smarten up then this relationship is on its last strings. what would your advice be to move out? first look for a place pack up my stuff and tell im over with you?

[Euphoric]

Be sure that the relationship is over. If you find a place and sign a lease, you are obligated to fulfill the terms of the contract. If you are certain that things are over and you are ready to move forward without him in your life, then yes, I'd make arrangement and leave.

You state that you have had multiple conversations with him to no avail. How sure are you about ending this relationship and moving on? It sounds like you are fed up living your life this way. You want to live, not exist. Is this right? Have you given this a lot of thought?

[BabyGirl]

Getting him out if you live together can be hard to do. If he's on your rental agreement or Lease, it can be very difficult to make him move out.
He has no reliable job, probably doesn't care if he lost his job, he can live off of you ( in his mind. ).

If you are month to month rent, you'll be ok with moving as soon as you can , just give a 20 day Notice.
If a Lease, make sure you tell your Landlord that you are planning on moving, see if they will release you from a lease , if it's a Real Lease. like yearly. Explain that he will still be there and you'd like to be taken off of the Responsibility part and also save your Credit and Renting/ Leasing Status .

I would look for a place you can afford on your own or at least find someone to share a place with or move in temporarily with, save some Money up until you can actually move to your own place.

Personally I would just start treating him like a Roommate until you find a place. Don't Fight with him , Don't beg him to talk or do anything . Don't have Sex or get Cozy with him .Just go to work, Clean up after yourself, don't cook him meals , don't buy him things , Take care of yourself, your bills and nothing of his.

If he doesn't realize on his own that something just isn't quite " Right " in the relationship, then that just shows he's Immature, Irresponsible and isn't thinking about you as a Partner .

I love him to death

Read that again and again to yourself.
Then ask yourself , if you love the way he Treats you, if you Love the way he Ignores you, If you Love the way he Belittles you with getting pic's of other girls in " Naughty " attire, If you Love that he spends time with his best friend, whether Guy or Gal , when you argue, rather than spend time with you trying to fix the problem ?

If you loved him and how he acts and treats you , You wouldn't be here on WH asking what to do .. You know what to do , You just need some Validation. that It's time to stand up for yourself, time to Love yourself , Time to Believe in yourself and the fact that You Deserve So much Better.

It's not easy making this kind of Decision, so many people just stay in very Unhappy and Unhealthy Relationships, because it's Easier. But in actuality, it is Not easier, it's more harmful to themselves and to any children they have and to their self confidence and to their ability to strike out for a new and Better Life and Love.

We are here for you , but Only you can truly be there for Yourself. As we are on the Net ..

[Advice101]

Be sure that the relationship is over. If you find a place and sign a lease, you are obligated to fulfill the terms of the contract. If you are certain that things are over and you are ready to move forward without him in your life, then yes, I'd make arrangement and leave.

You state that you have had multiple conversations with him to no avail. How sure are you about ending this relationship and moving on? It sounds like you are fed up living your life this way. You want to live, not exist. Is this right? Have you given this a lot of thought?

yes i have given this a lot of thought. i could move in a buisness condo for a few days and get my head straight and to think on my own.. i have given this a lot of thought.. for the past few months its been fight after fight

[jns]

He's sponging off of you and your goodwill. He is showing you that he is not serious about you. Do you want to continue like this? There is currently nothing that will change him.

[Advice101]

Getting him out if you live together can be hard to do. If he's on your rental agreement or Lease, it can be very difficult to make him move out.
He has no reliable job, probably doesn't care if he lost his job, he can live off of you ( in his mind. ).

If you are month to month rent, you'll be ok with moving as soon as you can , just give a 20 day Notice.
If a Lease, make sure you tell your Landlord that you are planning on moving, see if they will release you from a lease , if it's a Real Lease. like yearly. Explain that he will still be there and you'd like to be taken off of the Responsibility part and also save your Credit and Renting/ Leasing Status .

I would look for a place you can afford on your own or at least find someone to share a place with or move in temporarily with, save some Money up until you can actually move to your own place.

Personally I would just start treating him like a Roommate until you find a place. Don't Fight with him , Don't beg him to talk or do anything . Don't have Sex or get Cozy with him .Just go to work, Clean up after yourself, don't cook him meals , don't buy him things , Take care of yourself, your bills and nothing of his.

If he doesn't realize on his own that something just isn't quite " Right " in the relationship, then that just shows he's Immature, Irresponsible and isn't thinking about you as a Partner .


Read that again and again to yourself.
Then ask yourself , if you love the way he Treats you, if you Love the way he Ignores you, If you Love the way he Belittles you with getting pic's of other girls in " Naughty " attire, If you Love that he spends time with his best friend, whether Guy or Gal , when you argue, rather than spend time with you trying to fix the problem ?

If you loved him and how he acts and treats you , You wouldn't be here on WH asking what to do .. You know what to do , You just need some Validation. that It's time to stand up for yourself, time to Love yourself , Time to Believe in yourself and the fact that You Deserve So much Better.

It's not easy making this kind of Decision, so many people just stay in very Unhappy and Unhealthy Relationships, because it's Easier. But in actuality, it is Not easier, it's more harmful to themselves and to any children they have and to their self confidence and to their ability to strike out for a new and Better Life and Love.

We are here for you , but Only you can truly be there for Yourself. As we are on the Net ..

wow that is the best advice anyone could get.. okay well we were actually looking for a place because our landlord is selling and we need to be out by feb28!
i will treat him like a roommate and everything you said and see how he acts.. thank you and ill be posting tomorrow to see how its going!!

[Advice101]

I agree 100% i just asked him why the hell he would get a picture like that and he said "finally after 2 years you snooping on my texts you found something" i said are you cheating on me? he said no..
i walked away and told him that i was sleeping at a friends tonight and started packing up some clothes for the night.. then he walked in and said babes i love you and would never cheat on you and i said then why would you even ask for pictures in that manor? the girl who sent him a picture (and old friend of his) who we recently bumped into a party together and he got her numb and were going to a nice and naughty party with her this sat.. he wanted to see what she was gonna wear and she said.

Girl
I did take pics!
Boy
LOL oh my** embarrassed! blush blush. i thought you meant you were wearing lingerie now.
Oh but you do have pics? send em over
Girl
You serious? you misbehaving lol ( thats indicating that the girl knew it was wrong to send the pics in the first place but she did knowing that he has a girlfriend and meeting me, soooo facked up)
Boy
hahaha ya im being bad. and being serious lol
Girl
I like bad!
Boy
Does that means your sending?
Girl
I can send one

then she sent a pic of her in the mirror with her *** hanging out



im leaving tonight..

[Euphoric]

Glad to hear that! I wanted to make sure this was YOUR decision. I didn't want to influence your decision based on what I would do, but that is EXACTLY what I'd do. You have self-worth and taking a stand proves to him and yourself that you are worthy of more.

Euphoric