[atskitty2]

In my example, as you see, it isn't a pick up line at all. It's introducing yourself, then respectfully asking to begin a discussion. I am really offended when some guy just waltzes over and seems to think I should be blessed that he chose to barge into my space. I prefer he be respectful and recognize that beginning a discussion isn't his "right"...he needs to ask before interrupting my evening with friends or my shopping, or whatever, even if I've given him the green light.

I don't do that to men, and I appreciate the same.

Now, with that said, I'm not an utter *****. I don't respond rudely unless I'm addressed rudely, but I think if we all respected boundaries and treated potential love interests with immediate respect, the getting-to-know-you phase would be a much more solid foundation for a future...

[Patti-here]

Well kitty, if a guy want to meet/talk with you he 'should start out with introducing himself, like any gentleman would do..

Like, hi my name is Rob, I was wondering if you'd like another drink, something along those lines.

[Something_Awesome]

I don't respond rudely unless I'm addressed rudely

OMG Thank you! There is nothing more hideous than a person that can't gracefully say "no." I once was out in public and approached a girl. She shot me down, but she did it with grace. She said "thanks" and that she had a boyfriend but then followed up by saying "maybe we can do lunch?" That was her way of letting me down real easy. Now I didn't take her up on that offer because I don't like people doing what they don't want to do.

Now if I was her I would not have used that line because a guy may interpret the lunch thing the wrong way, but I was the right guy to use it on and I thought it was such a hot rejection.

God I'm weird... this forum made me realize it.

[bro21]

Bro, in what age bracket are you? 20's? 30's? 40's?

First, it takes guts to walk up to a stranger like that, so your confidence is great. Confidence is always sexy.

Your words however, are probably not the best ice breaker. Again, in what setting? Did you march up to a woman at the 7-11? At a Knicks game? In church? A nightclub? It is relevant because it indicates possibly the frame of mind someone may be in. Had eye contact been made prior to your approach?
Did you take time and look for a ring? Was she with friends or family, kids?
Did you get too close to her when you approached? Invading a woman's personal space, as a stranger is a big no-no.

It can be very easy to come across as desperate and socially awkward in these situations, rather than confident. It can be perceived as a really creepy thing in many ways, so skill and a certain amount of discretion must be used.

With the little info you give, I would say that in a nightclub would be the only scenario that I MIGHT be open to that line, and honestly it's doubtful. I'm a 41yr old divorced woman dating, and that just sounds very junior high school awkward from a man my age.
If you're in your 20's, as I suspect, that may be much better received

What I would feel more comfortable with, if I saw a man admiring me from "over there", and I was interested, I'd smile back at him-give him a green light so to speak. Then, if he decided to come over and talk, an opener might be nice, such as " my name is John, is it alright if I sit and chat with you?".

If you're approaching women "out of the blue", with no acknowledgement of your presence or subtle cue from them saying it's ok, that may be why it isn't accepted. So much of communication isn't verbal. If you're going up to someone "blindly", in the grocery store where they don't know you're there, that's a bit more stalkerish and can be startling and /or disturbing for some.

So, in short, real life isn't like the movies.

Tell me more...I'd love to help you if I can. I think many of the men and women here can offer supportive and helpful ideas.

Hi Kitty, Thanks you are right, I am in my 20's, 24 actually.

When I said this it was to a girl working at Jewelers store, I wasn't invading her personal space at all, in fact, we were at opposite ends of the counter, she was by herself. Yes there was eye contact, during the approach and before I said the words and when I said my opener. She clearly saw me coming, as I walked directly in her eye line before I said anything, I didn't just walk behind her and surprise her with my opener, I could understand how she would be shocked then haha.

I'm very confident in the way I speak, as I provide technical support in my job, so obviously it's important for me to speak clearly to a lot of people I work with, and I do believe this transfers into my every day life.

Also I'd like to thank people for there feedback so far, appreciate it

[Patti-here]

OMG Thank you! There is nothing more hideous than a person that can't gracefully say "no." I once was out in public and approached a girl. She shot me down, but she did it with grace. She said "thanks" and that she had a boyfriend but then followed up by saying "maybe we can do lunch?" That was her way of letting me down real easy. Now I didn't take her up on that offer because I don't like people doing what they don't want to do.

Now if I was her I would not have used that line because a guy may interpret the lunch thing the wrong way, but I was the right guy to use it on and I thought it was such a hot rejection.

God I'm weird... this forum made me realize it.

Pfffft. I might tell you to FO

[Something_Awesome]

Pfffft. I might tell you to FO

Yeah... It wouldn't surprise me

[atskitty2]

Well, Something, I wouldn't ask a guy w a gf out to a lunch date either. That's a bit far the other way, and I doubt his gf or wife would appreciate that.

I usually just say something along the lines of, I'm flattered they'd take time to ask, but no thanks, or smth similar. If they persist, I do get more assertive but usually, it isn't necessary.

[jen1447]

The secret to any type of successful interaction imo is really simple - you have to convincingly not want anything from it. (So that means, don't actually want or expect or hope anything from it. If something does come of it, fine, but if it doesn't you won't really care because you didn't hang your hat on it to begin with it.) Your motivation has to be only what you said it was.

So in practice, if you compliment a woman in almost any situation (okay, not a dark street corner), mean it, and don't expect her to do anything in particular because of it (and she's able to perceive all this), it'll be received well. Anything else and it likely won't, or the results will be mixed.

[DreamP346]

Personally, any comment about my appearance makes we uncomfortable from strangers. Not because I don't think I look good, but it weirds me out that they are want to talk to me because of my appearance. Now if somebody said "good morning pretty lady," while passing by, meaning there was no intention of continuing the conversation, that wouldn't bother me.

In my dating days, I have picked up guys and usually it was just a random conversation. I might be sitting next to somebody at the bar, and we started talking about the band or something. When I was really young, dancing would be the conversation starter. If somebody asked me to dance, we might exchange a few lines on the dance floor like "what's you name," "where are you from". If I liked him, I might continue the conversation after the dance. But a guy HAS to be able to carry on a good conversation. Pick-up lines are for losers who can't think for themselves.

[jen1447]

Pick-up lines are for losers who can't think for themselves.

Love. ^