[T-man]

Hey Ladies,

Appreciate some female opinions. I've been out on about 5 dates with a girl and things have been going really well. It was her birthday a few days ago, so I took her out the night before, was very casual and relaxed, nothing over the top. We had a great time and I got her a small birthday present. I made sure it was thoughtful but essentially trivial. Though surprised she loved it. Anyway, during the night and before the present, she told me that this weekend she was having a party with all her friends and asked me to come. They are starting in a house and having a few drinks there before heading to the city.

I was a little surprised and made sure she wanted me to come, which she did so I said I might be able to make it for a bit but I couldn't stay late.

Anyway, I'm a little unsure about this as right now we've just been dating a short while. My feeling would be to met her in town for a bit, not at the house, and stay an hour, maybe an hour an a half and then leave her enjoy the night with her friends. Still though, I'd appreciate any thoughts on the matter.

Has this happened to you, what did you want out of bringing a new guy to a party like this? Am I being interviewed by her friends? Should I go, not go? What should I do/not do? Is this a good/bad thing? Any thoughts really would be very helpful.

Thanks ;-)
T-man

[atskitty2]

5 dates over how long? 6 months? 2 weeks?
How old are you?

Generally speaking, it sounds like a good thing to me. I think your tentative plan to stay awhile & then head out is fine, but be open to stay longer if it works out that way. Go with the flow, as it were. Keep it low-key, mannerly, don't over-indulge in alcohol or anything else, for that matter.
If you're being "interviewed", or checked out for approval by the friends, so be it - it's how it goes. She wouldn't introduce you if she didn't think you may be someone who could stick around awhile, right?

[Motorguy]

Well T-man if your girl friend wants you to go then go. She wants to show you off to her friends women like to show off there new boyfriend. Because men do the exact same thing with there new girl friends. But do what your plain just stay around for a little bit then leave and tell her you will see her the next day and be safe. But she may asked you stay as well if she does do stay. If you don't go then you will make your girl friend feel unsecured because she probably already told some of them that she dating this great guy if you don't show up it will make her feel like you are not real and embarrass her with friends. Then you do not want to ruin your new girl friends birthday out on the town fun. She will not be happy with you and may put this new relationship into trouble before it even starts out. The only thing would be bad if she never asked you to come with her to the night out celebrating her birthday with friends and you invited your self. To go then that would be wrong but you not having that issue she has ask you to go. My feeling you should go and make her happy it's her day this only happens once a year so make her night out a fun one. She will thank you later one day after that for doing that wink wink lol.

[T-man]

Cool, thanks for your opinions. Hadn't considered that I could embarrass her by not going.

Anyway to answer your questions.

5 dates over about 5 weeks.
I'm 32 she's 27.
Yes, if things went well I'd stick around.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

In my opinion, you showed on the 5th date that you are interested, you gave her a small gift for her birthday. At that point she decided she wanted you in her life. You aren't stating that 5 coffees together, you've made it clear that each one has been a genuine date. So she is not asking you as a "friend" to join friends or to show you off.

She's made the decision that you could very well be someone she could fall for and so, she decided to let you now enter her circle of life and friends. This isn't a test and she would be definitely upset if you didn't go and embarrassed and feel that you are not interested in her after all. So go, there is nothing wrong with meeting in town it's kinda a grand entrance If you enjoy the people and her company stay until you want to.

Work commitments make us go to bed early but a one of night out should also be apart of our lives.

[T-man]

Well thanks Chandlers Wish and everyone else, some good input.

:-)