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is he a player or what?

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  • is he a player or what?

    Hi all,

    Last April i met a guy in a job interview. He gave me his number and because we were like 4 people together we said to meet out as well.

    Anyway, he started texting me on whatsapp but i was ignoring him for 2 weeks as i went back home for my spring break from work.

    When i came back i returned his messages by saying sorry was too busy back home and we started chatting as friends. He was nice and started calling as well but at the beginning i wasn't so into it as i thought that i don't know him and he doesn't leave in the same town as me.

    After 3 weeks of chatting and calling he asked me to meet up for a coffee as he said i will be in your city for a training with my current job.

    So, we started dating and after 1 month we started a "relationship". You will understand why i put the brackets later on.

    At the beginning he was calling and return my calls always and chatting as well on BBM or whatsapp.

    After 2 weeks all of a sudden i received a phone from a girl asking if i called her because he found a missed call on her cell phone from my number. This didn't happen as i never called this number before. So she called twice insisting to find out my name and the second time she asked me if i know T.... my boyfriend and that she is his fiancé named N.....

    Straight away i hang up the phone and didn't return any calls from him and when he texted to find out whats going wrong i told him just speak with your fiancé. He called back saying that she is not his fiancé and just his ex trying to cause troubles.

    The next day came to explain face to face and all of these ********s. My first mistake was here by giving him first chance....

    After a month i found out very surprised that he was lying to me about his job. He said that he stopped working as a sales man but he was still working there (big women lingerie brand).

    As soon as i found out this i just knew what time he was working and visited the store in his city with a friend and he didn't know what to say. He just said that he feels shame and didn't want me to leave him because of his job. Second mistake and second chance i gave him....i am the stupid one and i know that!!

    In the mean time he was coming to my city for weekends and on his off days. I was going to his city as well but never went to his place as he assumes he has roommates and he feels shame....bull********s again.

    When the summer came i left him and went back home for a month for my holidays and everyday he was calling and sky ping etc etc and asking me to go back and making scenes because i am not the same as before going back home.

    Coming back from my holidays he said needs to go back to his country to get his visa for the new job he found and he will be out of the country for 1 or 2 weeks.

    In the meantime when he went back home chatting and Skype as usual. But all of a sudden without me knowing he came back called me the same morning to say Hi I'm back.

    Avoiding to meet me after he came back i didn't return any calls or txts from him and after 2 weeks time and when i didn't know where he is exactly i visited a friend at his city as i am going to move there for my new job as well in 2 weeks time. My visit there was not including see him or meet him as 2 weeks before i toted him and cleared up that if he is not aiming to say the truth and whats going on then we are done and i am not going to get any more games from him.

    Visiting a mall with my friend last Friday suddenly i received 3 missed from a land line number there and didn't know who is it. So after answering the call it was him asking where am i and that he wanted to meet me as he started work in the new job. I believe he saw me in the mall thats y he called as he got scared not to make any trouble to him with his new job or something.

    We met and he started apologising for his attitude and he admitted that he lied to me for so many things but the only thing he didn't admit was having another woman which i believe 100% as i told him as well in his face. I was bold and even told him that i know everything.
    He told me that he messed up everything because he has some personal issues to clear up and that he has feelings for me and he wants some time to fix his life and don't mess things again.

    I told him that i don't have time to waste and that is take it or leave it now. Since last Friday he started texting on whatsapp every day just to ask how i am or a good morning or good night. This Wednesday he texted me at 11pm and we were chatting till 1am for work and saying how much he miss me and all this crap which i don't buy anymore and don't even say back.

    Finally, yesterday he said good morning and if i wanna Skype so we can talk. I told him i am busy now but after 30 min. He said ok and after 30 min i texted him to ask him to call and he said yes.

    Waiting for 10 min he didn't call and i texted him back but messages weren't delivered and his phone switched of or out of reachable area. After 2 attempts to call in between 12 and 12:30pm i checked my Skype again and saw that he texted me on Skype but i didn't see it on time and only after an hour (Skype on cellphone). Anyway, after that didn't return any calls back and since yesterday 12 noon not online on whatsapp and disappeared.

    I don't know what to think anymore for this guy...i think he is just playing around or having another woman for sure and he is just cheating on her.....pls help and tell me your opinion for all these. What shall i do?just ignore him and move on?

  • I admit I didn't read all your thread, but I read enough to confidently answer your questions at the end. Yes, just ignore him & move on. You can do much better.


    • Yup. Leave well enough alone. Cut the ties and move on. This guy is yanking you around, and there is no excuse good enough for that. As atskitty2 said, you can do much better.
      "Be what you're looking for."


      • He's a player, just not a very good one. Move on and find someone that is willing to devote their time to you and not other people he's in a relationship with.
        That which we forget may as well never really happened.


        • What you don't want is someone to lie to you and when they do it a second time, you know in your heart that they will do it a third.

          I doubt that this "ex" called you and lied to be honest, you were about to move over to where he is and now he's all of a sudden quit communication because he can't, she is real and exists. He is busted yet again.

          That is my thoughts.

          When you have a gut feeling in the future, follow it, trust it because it is our way of telling ourselves there is a red flag.

          If he's messed up before, he'll mess up again and you'll get hurt. Better to see it all now than 2 years down the track.


          • Thanx for ur time reading my thread and replying!!! All of a sudden he came back texting again the next day after Skype trying to explain....didnt reply and he started calling yesterday whole morning. When i picked up the phone he was just asking how i am and that he can see i am enjoying my time and asking questions about my new job............like if i resigned and finish my notice period and that he is happy for me (bull********s) Anw i think now that he is afraid of me moving there thats y he is keeping communication just to check on me and be on the safe sight isn't it??? because a guy who really cares and wants to fix a situation he will do everything to make you understand this....

            I really wanna cut the ties and move on but every time he comes back...dont know what to do anymore...just send a text to him and sy just leave me alone and ******************** of?


            • You can send that text but chances are he'd not respect it & really leave you alone.
              Just don't answer his texts, don't answer his phone calls, and he'll get the picture, eventually. Talking to him, even an innocent "hello" just encourages him, and doesn't allow you space for moving on. Cutting ties, means cutting all contact.


              • I have to agree with CW about lies. Lies are not a good basis for any relationship.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


                • Move on Sweetie. Guy is for sure playing you! I read he needs his visa? Yeah be careful, most guys like that are just looking for the girl to help them get one. You will find a gentleman who will treat you way better for sure!


                  • He was sussing you out and you're right.

                    I mean what's work got to do with it, in the bigger picture of all of this..

                    He's not worthy of you... Actually, I would say something, that's me. I would state exactly that.

                    "You're not worthy of me" and then, never speak to him again, no answering anything..

                    Let him know that you know your worth first.
                    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!



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