[lauralight]

I've spent a little time with a new guy, and he's very into his daddy role. I can see he's not available mentally to talk with me about the idea of solidifying anything real with me. I completely respect that he's in a transition period with a his change in his life/taking custody of his kids. I just have no idea how to ask him what he is or isn't willing to do regarding us? I am patient, however I just started dating again, and actually crave the attention-so I don't want to alienate the guy and make things worse by dating others, but I was trying to get my needs met-too. Any ideas?

[C]

The first thing you have to know is does he still carry a torch for his ex? Was this parting her choice and not his? Does she have another man and he was let go, not willingly, but part of the affair? Only when you find these things out, can you proceed. I doubt if any or all of the above come into play, that he has room for serious romance at this time.

His children are and always will be his priority. This is good because they are the big losers out of this mess called marriage or partnership, whatever it was? Their's is a tragedy. If you push this, your needs in his eyes, may seem selfish.

I guess I would just have to say wait and see. If he is just becoming oriented to this new life, I would go it very slow if I were you. I doubt at this point that he can put his heart and soul into a love life which you may want. I don't blame you as you have your woman needs as I do, BUT does he have the capability of taking on anymore stress then what he is dealing with now....I hope everything works out great for you....

The words I spoke above were not just words grabbed out of the air and put on paper.......Unfortunately, they were words of life and knowing and learning and trying to accept and now just a memory....They were words about my very good looking ex-son-in-law who will always be in my thoughts.....He didn't deserve what life dealt him....

[lauralight]

Caroline

I can see you want to talk about your son in law, but can you start a thread for that? It is confusing to talk about two things in the same thread.

I do appreciate your view on things though, no this guy isn't still carrying a torch, I don't think. But I'm going to just let go and not worry about him and let him take care of himself, and me me.

[C]

LauraLight

I can see you want to talk about your son in law, but can you start a thread for that? It is confusing to talk about two things in the same thread.

I do appreciate your view on things though, no this guy isn't still carrying a torch, I don't think. But I'm going to just let go and not worry about him and let him take care of himself, and me me.

First of all I have no need nor no intention of talking about my son-in-law. I simply mentioned this because I am very aware of what a man goes through in life when in the middle of a very disturbing time in his life. I promise you that I will not answer any of your Thread's and am sorry I did not see it sooner.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

If he's just taken custody of the kids, of course that's where his priorities lie. You're relatively unimportant compared to them, and that's how it should be. I'm sure if you give it a little time things will get clearer.