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the boy i'm dating is attractive to a different type of women...

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  • the boy i'm dating is attractive to a different type of women...

    I've been dating a this guys for about 1 year. He is evertything I ever wanted in a man. I can totally see myself with him forever. The only problem is that he is an "amputee devotee" for those of you that don't know what that means,here is the scoop. Those type of man are attracted to amputee. Weird, uh...well as a Doctor friend explained it to me is just a preference...just like some of us prefer tall, blonds, etc. he prefers amputees.... The problems is that i'm not an amputee. I just found out about this. I've tried to move on one million times but everytime I do he does something to show his affection towards me and reels me back. I'm so comfused, I want to believe that he'll eventually get over it... but i dont' know.. what do you think... has this ever happend to anyone??? please help.

  • I'm really sorry, I'm having difficulty stopping myself from laughing (and it's bizzarely timed as I mentioned this in a thread not two days ago). However, I'm sure it can be a very hurtful situation...

    My jokey/fun making answer would be "do you love this man more than you love one of your legs?" but obviously that's only a joke, please don't be offended.


    Ok, so first off, how do you know that this is his preference, and how severe of a preference is it? Basically all men prefer slim women to fat women, and yet there are many fat women happily married to slim men. Looks aren't everything... Likewise girls whose 'type' is long hair and wind up with a shaven guy... etc etc etc etc. In fact there are even gay guys in heterosexual marriages!

    How strong is this preference? If he marries you will he be scouring the internet to find some amputees? or is it just a relatively passing fantasy? Maybe you could strap one of your legs up backwards and hobble in wearing crutches and try and get it out of his system..

    I guess the only REAL answer is to have a serious and frank discussion with him. Don't attack him, as he will become unresponsive, just discuss it. Don't judge him, cast aspersions or whatever.

    I'd probably say though - that's a bit funked up... Best to move on.

    Comment


    • I'ts silly i know....

      well, thats the thing...I do think that if we eventually would get married he WOULD be all over the internet talking to amputees etc. I think more than an attraction is a part of him. He has actually already dated 5 diff amputee women...So eventually I think she wants to end up with one. He told me this is something he's dealt with since he was a kid. I dont' judge him I just regret that when I came to find out about this I was tooo emotionally involved to just walk away, and ofcourse I have that little thread of hope that he'll realize that our relationship is more important than that "attraction" and will get over it...but that prob wont happen I just never dealt w/ anything like this before. I don't even know what to think. One thing is fo sho...i'm not gonna play any dress up like an amputee games with him just to make him happy...lol

      Comment


      • amputee lover

        Originally posted by keasrt View Post
        well, thats the thing...I do think that if we eventually would get married he WOULD be all over the internet talking to amputees etc. I think more than an attraction is a part of him. He has actually already dated 5 diff amputee women...So eventually I think she wants to end up with one. He told me this is something he's dealt with since he was a kid. I dont' judge him I just regret that when I came to find out about this I was tooo emotionally involved to just walk away, and ofcourse I have that little thread of hope that he'll realize that our relationship is more important than that "attraction" and will get over it...but that prob wont happen I just never dealt w/ anything like this before. I don't even know what to think. One thing is fo sho...i'm not gonna play any dress up like an amputee games with him just to make him happy...lol
        If he's been dating you for a year there must be something he really likes about YOU. Why don't you ask him why he has been dating you instead of a amputee. See where you stand. Hopefully, he's not dating you just until an amputee he "really likes" comes along and will dump you. Before you invest anymore into this relationship, you need to see if he sees you as someone he would like to spend the rest of his life with.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by anonymouswhitefemale View Post
          I'm really sorry, I'm having difficulty stopping myself from laughing (and it's bizzarely timed as I mentioned this in a thread not two days ago). However, I'm sure it can be a very hurtful situation...

          My jokey/fun making answer would be "do you love this man more than you love one of your legs?" but obviously that's only a joke, please don't be offended.


          Ok, so first off, how do you know that this is his preference, and how severe of a preference is it? Basically all men prefer slim women to fat women, and yet there are many fat women happily married to slim men. Looks aren't everything... Likewise girls whose 'type' is long hair and wind up with a shaven guy... etc etc etc etc. In fact there are even gay guys in heterosexual marriages!

          How strong is this preference? If he marries you will he be scouring the internet to find some amputees? or is it just a relatively passing fantasy? Maybe you could strap one of your legs up backwards and hobble in wearing crutches and try and get it out of his system..

          I guess the only REAL answer is to have a serious and frank discussion with him. Don't attack him, as he will become unresponsive, just discuss it. Don't judge him, cast aspersions or whatever.

          I'd probably say though - that's a bit funked up... Best to move on.
          Not all men prefer slim women. There's different strokes for different folks. Like a prefer a heavier built man instead of a slim one.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by commonsense View Post
            Not all men prefer slim women. There's different strokes for different folks. Like a prefer a heavier built man instead of a slim one.
            Whatever, some men prefer women with no arms or legs and some men prefer women with penises. The FACT is, that MOST men prefer slim women. Full stop.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by anonymouswhitefemale View Post
              Whatever, some men prefer women with no arms or legs and some men prefer women with penises. The FACT is, that MOST men prefer slim women. Full stop.
              There is no such thing as a woman with a penis. And you have no idea what all men prefer, because you don't know all men, nor is there an average. God forbid someone disagree with you. Because apparently then, they're wrong, "full stop".

              Comment


              • Originally posted by ChelseaRenee View Post
                There is no such thing as a woman with a penis.
                Ever heard of a transvestite?
                Quit *****ing at each other. Follow your own advice; don't pay attention to the people who tick you off.
                Spring makes folks antsy ...
                <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Little View Post
                  Ever heard of a transvestite?
                  Quit *****ing at each other. Follow your own advice; don't pay attention to the people who tick you off.
                  Spring makes folks antsy ...
                  A transvestite is a man who dresses as a woman-not a woman. And I'm done posting on here. I'm tired of people getting off on power trips about a little website. I'll stay out of discussions from now on because apparently no matter what I, you're not going to like it, and I really don't see why you've singled me out to attack me. I haven't said anything half as offensive as some other people around here. But I guess I'm wrong about that, too.

                  Comment


                  • I'll take the blame; I wasn't thinking when I said transVESTite ... I should've paid attention to that Latin root. What is it you call a person with a woman's body and a penis? Popularly, a transvestite, but as you pointed out, that's wrong.
                    I don't know why you've singled out Anon to attack. You give ******** good advice when you can stand to leave him alone; you said yourself you don't want to talk to him.

                    OP: I think you have to decide how much you can take of this fetish your man has. Some people with fetishes are really out in left field and some just like to think about it. It's all a question of perception; yours AND his.
                    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by keasrt View Post
                      well, thats the thing...I do think that if we eventually would get married he WOULD be all over the internet talking to amputees etc. I think more than an attraction is a part of him. He has actually already dated 5 diff amputee women...So eventually I think she wants to end up with one. He told me this is something he's dealt with since he was a kid. I dont' judge him I just regret that when I came to find out about this I was tooo emotionally involved to just walk away, and ofcourse I have that little thread of hope that he'll realize that our relationship is more important than that "attraction" and will get over it...but that prob wont happen I just never dealt w/ anything like this before. I don't even know what to think. One thing is fo sho...i'm not gonna play any dress up like an amputee games with him just to make him happy...lol
                      I don't know if this has anything to do with anything? But, as a kid, i had the softest heart got me into real trouble with girls wanting to beat the ******** out of me, because they saw me as sticking up for nerds, that being, a guy with a hole in his heart, or a girl covered with exsma.

                      Maybe, he had a soft spot in his childhood for someone who had lost a limb, or maybe he has a great heart and feels sorry for those type of people, in another words, there is a reason why he is attracted to those types of persons, yet he is attracted to you?

                      So, i have stated this purely as maybe to gage your answer and future, ask him why this is a preference to him, did he know of someone when he was young that touched his heart type of thing.

                      It is just that "he has told me this is something that he has dealt with as a kid".

                      If this becomes his soul reason, then maybe he can join a club that he can volunteer at and therefore, this may make the world of difference for the "something" that he is trying to continue to do.

                      Either way, i think by posing that question and perhaps the above suggestion, you may find the answer you personally are looking for.

                      CW
                      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Little View Post
                        I'll take the blame; I wasn't thinking when I said transVESTite ... I should've paid attention to that Latin root. What is it you call a person with a woman's body and a penis? Popularly, a transvestite, but as you pointed out, that's wrong.
                        I don't know why you've singled out Anon to attack. You give ******** good advice when you can stand to leave him alone; you said yourself you don't want to talk to him.

                        OP: I think you have to decide how much you can take of this fetish your man has. Some people with fetishes are really out in left field and some just like to think about it. It's all a question of perception; yours AND his.
                        A man who pretends to be a woman? I honestly don't know. And I haven't singled him out to attack him, anymore than he's done that to everyone here with a differing opinion. I have never once made a personal attack against him, it's always been in the same vain as the debate going on. But fair enough, I won't talk to him anymore. I'm just as stubborn and opinionated as he is, so it's hard not to say something when he's blatantly wrong, but that's just something I'll have to deal with. I'm over it, so please let's just forget it. Back on topic.

                        Comment


                        • The whole transvestite/transexual thing is pretty irrelevent to the point I was making really (anyway I still consider a post-op female transexual as a man....). Let me change 'tranvestite' for 'children'. Some men like to have or fantasize about sex with children, does that make it the norm?

                          Chelsea, if you were observant, you'd have seen that both times I asserted that men liked slim women I used a proviso: "basically all" "most men", which also makes it completely irrelevent that there are a few fatty paddlers out there. The exceptions that prove the rule. I'm talking about TRENDS. I may not be able to speak for everyone, but I can speak for every man I've met and discussed the issue with... When men wind up with fat birds, it's not because the cellulite and rolls of blubber turn them on, it's because they look past physical beauty (or lack thereof) at the personality, which is essentially the most crucial attribute of a woman. Or, because on the whole "pretty girls" are stuck up little princesses who you couldn't put up with outside the bedroom.

                          Also, some men like fat women because they distrust women and have more faith that they won't (be able to) cheat on them.

                          As for me saying people with other opinions are 100% wrong; if you say that men prefer fat women, then yes, you are a 100% wrong. Who's going to be right? A man? Or a woman who's been told she's beautiful so's as not to hurt her feelings/get her into bed.

                          Comment


                          • ANONYMOUSWHITEFEMALE
                            When men wind up with fat birds, it's not because the cellulite and rolls of blubber turn them on, it's because they look past physical beauty (or lack thereof) at the personality, which is essentially the most crucial attribute of a woman. Or, because on the whole "pretty girls" are stuck up little princesses who you couldn't put up with outside the bedroom
                            .

                            Hun there is one thing that has urked me from the begining of my time, "birds", i hate that saying sorry, but really i'm a bird? HOWEVER, i agree men can look past anything if they find the woman "beautiful as a person, in her soul and find a true connection" then what ever they look like is irrelevant but MOST woman regardless of their size, if they are a WOMAN, will actually look after themselves.. I have seen some great women in larger sizes and think wow, your make - up, hair, etc looks good and they state " i love my ******, it's big and beautiful and my ******** are bigger and i think "GO GIRL"... And look at Paris Hilton " ahhhhhh" i love me who do you love?" true some are up themselves big time.....

                            Just saying okay???? !!!!!!

                            CW
                            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                            Comment


                            • Heheh, my girlfriend hates the expression "bird" too....

                              Well, I grew up with it, and I don't mean it to be offensive, so in my eyes it's not.

                              My feminist girlfriend sees it as belittling, and that women are something to be caged and lose their freedom as a pet, wheras I see it as a singing thing of beauty, free in the truest sense.

                              Comment

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