[SMM]

So last May my bf of a year broke up with me after a wedding (and no the wedding didn't scare him into breaking up with me, he had kept hinting at it awhile before ) his reasoning was "I want to be single and **** other girls. I wanna **** up before I can be commuted to you" I was devastated and my family was left to put me back together. I was just about completely over him when he decided to message me for the first time in almost 3 months (of course ) and despite all of the crap he did ( there's more he did but I don't feel like typing it all out) I immediately wanted him back despite previously going months without caring about him . I found out that during our break up he parties, talking to several girls at one time and had sex with 3 (that he's told me about) he now claims that he is changed and loves me to death and wants to be with me forever . I'm confused bc part of me wants him but part of me doesn't . I still find myself getting jealous when he talks r texts other girls even though we aren't together . But I also like this new guy a lot. Idk what to do. My dad says tell my ex to take a f'ing hike haha and that if I get back together with him , I'm just letting him know that it's okay to walk all over me and use me. Idkk in confused . Any advice is appreciated. (Btw I am a very shy, quiet, people pleaser. I have a hard time standing up for myself and will usually give ppl more chances than they deserve so any advice on how to be more strong and how to be able to stand up for myself and actually stick to it is appreciated too!!) thanks

[Pepperminty]

Go out on a few dates with the new guy and see how things work out. Maybe having someone else in your life will help you forget the ex. I think you deserve better than the ex and your dad is speaking some truths to be honest. If your ex really does still love you, he would SHOW you instead of just telling you.

[raindancer]

I share your father's opinion, mainly because you say he's done other bad things to you, the things you didn't feel like typing.

How to stand up for yourself? Excel in your studies and hobbies. Love yourself and show that love by improving yourself. Read, visit, experience, learn. Work on making your brain and body the best they can be. When we're busy loving ourselves, we only accept people around who respect us.

[Guest]

Does your ex still hang out with other girls? And your ex said that he still love you?

If he is intended to back you, you must dare to ask him to cut relationship with other girls.

[SMM]

He says he doesn't but I never see him. We both go to the same college but he and I have opposite schedules. The main problem with me being unsure of getting back together w him is because of his reasoning for breaking up and how immature it was and how he partied and slept around. I get sometimes people change but those negative thoughts about him are always stuck in my mind. Thank you all for the responses !

[SMM]

Thank you everyone! Just in case you all were wondering: I told my ex to take a hike and he is back to his old ways- no clue what he's been up to lately. And I have been dating the new guy for about a month now and it's going great

[jns]

Way to go, SMM. You got good counsel from your father and from here. I'm glad your decision was in the same direction.