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  • Naiwen
    Member
    • Aug 2017
    • 37

    I found out my best friend's boyfriend is cheating on her. How do I tell her?

    Any advice on catching the cheater and telling one's friend? I need it so much now. I know it'd probably break her heart, but if I didn't tell her now and she found out about it herself later, she'd hurt more. As her friend, I'd like to help her. So, how to tell her about it please?
  • atskitty2
    Assistant Admin
    • Aug 2013
    • 4467

    Well, how do you know this information? Have you seen it for yourself?

    Comment

    • Naiwen
      Member
      • Aug 2017
      • 37

      Originally posted by atskitty2
      Well, how do you know this information? Have you seen it for yourself?
      Yes, I've seen it myself.

      Comment

      • Claret
        Assistant Admin
        • Jan 2011
        • 1823

        Are they really in a committed relationship? Have they only been together a short while? Be careful how you approach this because very often it's the messenger that gets put out not the cheater.
        That which we forget may as well never really happened.

        Comment

        • atskitty2
          Assistant Admin
          • Aug 2013
          • 4467

          So you've seen him, in person, with another person being affectionate? Not in photos or video which cannot be verified for time and all?

          And you're certain that their relationship is exclusive and not an open relationship in which this sort of thing is permissible?

          If you are certain of this, and certain that you want to get involved, are you prepared for the possibility of losing your friend? Even though you may believe it is the right thing to do, she may not see it as you expect her to.

          And if they end up working through it and stay together, you will likely lose your friend.

          There's a lot to consider here. I recognize that you are trying to do the best and right thing, just be sure to think it through completely before you act.

          I may have more suggestions then.

          Comment

          • Maisie Dayz
            Member
            • Mar 2017
            • 68

            Personally I'd say nothing but make sure I'm there for support when she discovers his cheating for herself.
            You could well be opening a can of worms for your friendship, she may not believe you especially if you have no physical proof to show her.
            Think carefully before you speak out, the truth hurts and she may not thank you for it.

            Comment

            • AlexHannah
              Junior Member
              • Aug 2017
              • 9

              Maybe you could play it up innocently? For example, if you know that he's going to a party with this other person, maybe you can bring her to it?

              Comment

              • Naiwen
                Member
                • Aug 2017
                • 37

                Originally posted by atskitty2
                So you've seen him, in person, with another person being affectionate? Not in photos or video which cannot be verified for time and all?

                And you're certain that their relationship is exclusive and not an open relationship in which this sort of thing is permissible?

                If you are certain of this, and certain that you want to get involved, are you prepared for the possibility of losing your friend? Even though you may believe it is the right thing to do, she may not see it as you expect her to.

                And if they end up working through it and stay together, you will likely lose your friend.

                There's a lot to consider here. I recognize that you are trying to do the best and right thing, just be sure to think it through completely before you act.

                I may have more suggestions then.
                I found him out myself. Saw him with a minor with my own eyes. I know they're in a mutually exclusive relationship.

                Comment

                • atskitty2
                  Assistant Admin
                  • Aug 2013
                  • 4467

                  Does he know that you saw him?
                  Have you approached him with this?

                  I would start there. Talk to him. Give him a chance to go to her and come clean.
                  If he doesn't, then you have some more choices to make.

                  How long have they been a couple? Their ages?

                  Comment

                  • Naiwen
                    Member
                    • Aug 2017
                    • 37

                    Originally posted by atskitty2
                    Does he know that you saw him?
                    Have you approached him with this?

                    I would start there. Talk to him. Give him a chance to go to her and come clean.
                    If he doesn't, then you have some more choices to make.

                    How long have they been a couple? Their ages?
                    No, and I don't want to. I don't know that and I don't think I'm in any position to reveal anyone else's private infos, especially not their age.

                    Comment

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